Despite my natural and deep-felt opposition to covering this beautiful face ever, with anything, thus depriving the rest of the world from enjoying it fully, new information has come to light about the current maskage situation which I think is worth sharing.

Because previously, our government, when asked whether we should all be wearing masks, like in Germany, like in South Korea, like in China and all the other places which have done really well in this pandemic, has stated that ‘there’s no evidence masks help’. Oh. Well, Boris, its just that… errrrr… just… those countries had massively reduced infection AND subsequent death rates so I… errrr… just… kind’a… thought it was worth asking the question. Over here. Where we don’t wear masks. And everyone’s fucking DYING!!!!

Nope. No evidence whatsoever that masks help. End of. Game over.

Until you get on the tube on Monday. Then if you don’t wear a mask you’re breaking 10 laws and will be thrown off the train, possibly straight onto the tracks. But this will NOT count as a ‘corona-related death’. Unless the train was in a hospital when it happened.

A study in Germany has now decided that (for Germans at least) the spread rate of Covid is reduced by 40% if masks are worn. Oh, well that’s not much, is it. 40%. Not even half. Barely worth producing all that extra elastic. If that statistic is true, and if the same effect occurred with good, proper, English people as well as with the Germans, that would have meant 16,000 fewer deaths in the country. Or, alternatively, 16,000 more overweight, diabetic, heart-conditioned, obese, unhealthy, diseased bastards would still be sucking the life-blood out of the NHS on a weekly basis.

I have but one question for Boris, re: face masks, and it is this: is there any situation or circumstance in which wearing of face masks would or could make things worse? Because in any cost-benefit analysis you need to weigh such things up. And other than increasing my own, personal, short-term discomfort at odd times, there is simply nothing in the ‘minus’ column’. Ok, the ‘plus side’ is vague and unknown in the main, but Jesus, it don’t take an Einstein, or a Pasteur or Florence Nightingale to work out that masks are not a bad idea, really.

It’s only taken 3 months to work out that stopping diseased foreigners from entering our airports and railway stations is possibly a good idea. Give ‘em another few and word will get round number 10 that masks is possibly ‘something worth looking into’. Possibly.

At least they’ve removed the ‘don’t mention the war!!!’ episode of Fawlty Towers from the BBC site. That’s a good start on saving lives.

GERMAN LIVES MATTER!!!!

Happy Day of Stupid Things Generally

A xxxx