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Chinese wedding door games

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A groom drinking from a translucent red water bottle.
A groom is made to drink an unpleasant concoction by his bride's aunt, just before receiving his bride at her family home, in a public housing apartment in Singapore.

In Chinese communities, especially in China,[1] Hong Kong,[2] Malaysia[3] and Singapore,[4] wedding door games are challenges set up by the bridesmaids for the groom as a ceremonial demonstration of the groom's love for the bride.[5] These games typically take place in the morning of the wedding at the bride's family home, before the groom is allowed to receive the bride in the bride's room.[6] The groom typically receives the help of his groomsmen in completing the tasks.

Common games include the consumption of unpleasant foods,[7][8] answering of questions pertaining to the bride and the bride and groom's relationship, and performance of song and dance.[7] Negotiations are commonly made regarding the bridesmaids' demands, accompanied by bargaining concerning the red envelope offerings to the bridesmaids.[5][6][7] These games originated in ancient Chinese folk customs,[9] and have been elaborated on in modern times.[4]

These games are distinct from the practice of nàohūn (闹婚; 'creating turbulence') in China, sometimes confusingly also known as wedding games, in which the couple, particularly the bride, is teased by their guests during or after the wedding.[10]

Naming

  • Door games are known in China as "games with which to receive the groom" jiēqīn yóuxì (接亲游戏) or "games with which to block the door" dǔmén yóuxì (堵门游戏)[1]
  • In Hong Kong, the process is known in Cantonese as "playing with the groom" (玩新郎; waan4 san1 long4)[11]
  • In Malaysia, these games are called heng dai games, after the Cantonese word referring to the groomsmen (兄弟; hing1 dai6; 'brothers')[3]
  • In Singapore, the process is known as the wedding gatecrash[4][5]

Typical components

Contemporary opinions

Singapore

Wedding door games are an opportunity for grooms to demonstrate their resolve and commitment, which some brides appreciate.[5] It is also seen by some as a valued tradition and a rite of passage.[12] Wedding games may also add to the fun and excitement of the wedding.[12]

However, the prospect of these challenges may induce anxiety in grooms before the wedding.[12] In addition, many couples are becoming disillusioned about the meaning provided by such games, noting that the games are humiliating and labour-intensive to prepare.[8][16] Some couples set boundaries on the games, such as excluding sexual elements.[12] One wedding photographer estimated in 2016 that roughly 20% of Singaporean Chinese couples do away with such wedding door games, even while retaining the other elements of a traditional Chinese wedding.[8]

Notes

  1. ^ a b c d e Zhao, Biqing (2016-02-14), "整蛊新郎 婚礼堵门游戏和接亲问题" [Tease the groom: Wedding door games and questions], Sina Fashion (in Chinese), China: Xinhuanet Co, archived from the original on 2017-09-14, retrieved 2017-09-14 {{citation}}: |archive-date= / |archive-url= timestamp mismatch; 2017-09-15 suggested (help)
  2. ^ Hong Kong Weddings, Hong Kong, October 2011, archived from the original on 2017-02-24, retrieved 2017-09-14{{citation}}: CS1 maint: date and year (link) CS1 maint: location missing publisher (link)
  3. ^ a b Teh, Kai (2017-01-08), Malaysian Chinese Wedding Game Tradition Have Grooms-men Gulping Worms, Malaysia: World of Buzz, archived from the original on 2017-01-13, retrieved 2017-09-14
  4. ^ a b c d Lim, Kimberly (2016-11-06), "Wedding gatecrashers: Putting love to the test by eating Nutella from a diaper", The New Paper, Singapore: Singapore Press Holdings, archived from the original on 2016-11-13, retrieved 2017-09-14
  5. ^ a b c d Leong, Huan Chie (2011), Understanding Marriage: Chinese Weddings in Singapore (PDF), Singapore, retrieved 2017-09-14{{citation}}: CS1 maint: location missing publisher (link)
  6. ^ a b Zhao, Lucy (2015), "Rituals and the Life Cycle", in Zang, Xiaowei (ed.), Understanding Chinese Society, Routledge, p. 31, ISBN 9781317422969
  7. ^ a b c d Xia, Yan R; Zhou, Zhi G (2003), "The Transition of Courtship, Mate Selection, and Marriage in China", in Hamon, Raeann R; Ingoldsby, Bron B (eds.), Mate Selection Across Cultures, SAGE, p. 245, ISBN 9781452237695
  8. ^ a b c d Lam, Lydia (2016-03-09), "More Chinese couples say 'I do' to intimate weddings", My Paper, Singapore: Singapore Press Holdings, retrieved 2017-09-14
  9. ^ Tillman, Margaret M; Tillman, Hoyt C (2015), "Modernizing Tradition or Restoring Antiquity as Confucian Alternatives: A View from Reading Wedding Rituals in Contemporary China", in Alitto, Guy (ed.), Contemporary Confucianism in Thought and Action, Springer, p. 83, doi:10.1007/978-3-662-47750-2_6, ISBN 978-3-662-47750-2
  10. ^ Guo, Diandian; Koetse, Manya (2016-04-15), China's 'Naohun' Tradition: Are Wedding Games Going Too Far?, What's on Weibo, archived from the original on 2017-09-05, retrieved 2017-09-14
  11. ^ 如何玩新郎而不失面子 [How to tease the groom without losing face] (in Chinese), Hong Kong: BigCouple.hk, 2016-05-23, retrieved 2017-09-14
  12. ^ a b c d e f g "Bridal games that Singapore grooms play", The Straits Times, Singapore, 2013-05-12, archived from the original on 2017-01-16, retrieved 2017-09-14
  13. ^ "5 Gatecrashing Ideas For Your Wedding". Perfect Weddings. Singapore. Retrieved 2017-09-15. {{cite web}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter: |dead-url= (help)
  14. ^ Viknesh, Tashya (2016-09-28), Hilarious Games For Groomsmen At Chinese Weddings, Kaodim, retrieved 2017-09-14
  15. ^ Hew, Lee Yee (2015-02-10), 8 Heng Dai Games That Are Popular For All The Wrong Reasons, Malaysia: SAYS.com, archived from the original on 2017-01-24, retrieved 2017-09-14
  16. ^ Joanne, Poh (2017-01-04), "4 Things to Cut Out of Your Wedding if You Want to Save a Significant Amount of Cash", MoneySmart.sg, Singapore: Catapult Ventures Pte Ltd, archived from the original on 2017-01-15, retrieved 2017-09-14

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