A Man Is Planning to Launch Himself in a Homemade Rocket to Prove the Earth Is Flat

Kyrie Irving is having himself an incredible season in Boston, but no matter how well the Celtics play, and no matter how much fun it is to watch Kyrie dribble, it's hard not to look at him and see more than a point guard. No, he's not just a basketball player, he's also the face of a movement. A movement that is based on one incredibly simple and understandable notion: NASA, the U.S. government, and generations of scientists have been participating in a centuries long conspiracy to hide the fact that the Earth is not a sphere but is, in fact, flat.

And sure there have been times when Kyrie has tried to make it seem as though he doesn't actually believe that, and rather, is making some sort of grand point about the media, but I'm a Cavs fan. Before this season, it was my duty to defend Kyrie on this issue, and we all know he believes it. And now, finally, we might soon have something that will convince Kyrie that the Earth isn't flat. A California man, who will almost certainly be made into a quirky indie film starring Jake Johnson or Mark Duplass, has decided to launch himself into the sky in a homemade rocket to prove the Earth is flat.

Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of the Earth, a California man intends to launch himself 1,800 feet high on Saturday in a rocket he built from scrap metal.

Assuming the 500-mph, mile-long flight through the Mojave Desert does not kill him, Mike Hughes told the Associated Press, his journey into the atmosflat will mark the first phase of his ambitious flat-Earth space program.

That's right. This is only a small step on the limo driver-turned-aviator's journey to prove the Earth isn't a sphere. In the future he plans to launch himself into actual space to further prove that we live on a giant disc. And if you think this guy sounds loopy, read this quote from an AP story on Hughes and tell me it doesn't sound a lot like a certain Boston point guard.

“I don’t believe in science. I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust. But that’s not science, that’s just a formula. There’s no difference between science and science fiction.”

Is that really so different than this?

"When I started actually doing research on my own and figuring out that there is no real picture of Earth, not one real picture of Earth — and we haven't been back to the moon since 1961 or 1969 — it becomes like conspiracy, too."

I'm not sure whether Kyrie Irving is the Mark Hughes of basketball or whether Mark Hughes is the Kyrie Irving of limo drivers, but either way, these two are peas in a pod.