All fired up? Alan Titchmarsh on planning a spectacular Bonfire Night

Bonfires are an inflammatory issue today. 

The great smouldering heaps of dead leaves, prunings and garden bric-a-brac that used to be such favourites have fallen out of fashion. This is partly because modern homes are built close together and we don’t want to upset neighbours. Neither do we want to pollute the atmosphere and contribute to global warming or put hibernating hedgehogs and beneficial insects at risk.

However much you want to be a good citizen, though, Bonfire Night puts our best intentions to the test. You can blame it all on Guido Fawkes, the fall guy just over 400 years ago for the Gunpowder Plot that was intended to blow up the Houses of Parliament and King James I.

It may have all ended badly for Guido, but children remain eternally grateful to him. As a lad, I enjoyed a good Bonfire Night with the best of them. For several days before, I’d go round to neighbours’ houses with friends, complete with an orange box on old pram wheels held together with a few nails and string, transporting our home-made guy (sacks stuffed with rags and dressed in Dad’s old work clothes) to raise cash to buy fireworks.

“A penny for the Guy” soon mounted up. Back home, we’d pile up all sorts of old rubbish from sheds, workshops and garages to sit him on, ready for ignition on the night. And back then, it was strictly on November 5, even if it came midweek. 

Everyone knew to keep their cats and dogs indoors so they didn’t take fright, the fire brigade geared up to deal with blazing sheds and fences, and sweet shops quadrupled their trade as they sold sparklers, bangers and Catherine wheels to small kids on their way home from school (some would be seen sporting impressive bandages and burns for weeks afterwards). 

Those of us who escaped unscathed often had gippy tummies for a few days afterwards from eating sausages cooked (or not) on sticks over the bonfire.  

Today, there are relatively few back-yard Guy Fawkes Night bonfires, unless they are in large gardens a long way from neighbours.

Now folk are far greener and expect more bang for their bucks, so large, well-organised events with elaborate firework displays, hygienic catering and full health and safety are more popular. But if you are going it alone, a good bonfire needs a recipe. It’s just like cookery.

First come ingredients. Too many folk use Guy Fawkes Night as an excuse to get shot of old sofas, plastic sacks and other rubbish that won’t fit in the dustbin and makes an evil, filthy, smoky stink when burnt – so if you find yourself organising a group event, don’t let people turn up with household refuse. Pile up brittle, dead branches, prunings and twigs, and keep newspaper and cardboard in a shed until it’s needed so it doesn’t get damp, otherwise it smoulders.

Then you need method. Make sure you have a clear space in which to light your bonfire. Bare soil is best, otherwise flames can easily spread through dry grass and set light to nearby hedges or outbuildings – but the fire should be as far away as possible from anything of the sort. Construct the bonfire at the last minute, moving raw materials from your “storage heap” to your pre-cleared area so that any hiding wildlife can escape.

Use your paper and cardboard in the base, followed by small sticks and dry prunings with longer branches standing wigwam fashion in best boy-scout style so the whole thing makes a stable, wide, cone shape. The guy counts as added decoration (again, created from safely combustible materials such as cotton fabric stuffed with hay, straw or screwed-up newspaper). He needs embedding carefully in place so there’s no risk of him rolling out of the flames and into his audience once he’s caught fire.

To light the fire, use long matches to ignite a trail of newspaper leading into the heart of the heap (only an amateur would even think about using paraffin or firelighters). A responsible adult needs to be on duty – with a hosepipe – in case the flames start to get out of hand. 

But fun though it is – and this is the only time of year I’d even consider a bonfire nowadays – far more folk these days prefer a greener alternative.

If you hold your own Guy Fawkes do at home, it’s easy to go bonfire-free. A barbecue or, better still, a Jamie Oliver-style brick outdoor oven cooks your classic Bonfire Night fare far better. And if you want to see naked flames, use tea lights in jam jars to decorate your outdoor tables (you can get electronic tea lights that work from tiny batteries and flicker very realistically).

Alternatively, you can put up strings of electric lanterns or fairy lights round your pergola, patio, trellis or in your trees and shrubs – the effect is magical and totally smoke-free. 

Bonfire safety essentials

Choose a site far from fences, buildings, sheds and trees. Clear away any household rubbish, especially bottles, cans, flammable liquids and anything containing plastic, foam or paint.

Dig a pit a few inches deep and a few feet wider than you want your fire to be. Place rocks, bricks or heavy logs round the perimeter so the fire can’t spread.

Never use flammable liquids to get the fire going and always have a hosepipe or buckets of water nearby in case the flames get out of hand. 

Extinguish the bonfire when the evening is over – don’t leave it to smoulder – and never throw fireworks on to it, used or not.