Anonymous asked: How can one make themselves the dominant person in a conversation with someone who is usually the alpha, or is physicaly larger then you?
Believe it or not, I find myself in this sort of situation more often than you’d think.
I find it helps to bring to your conversations a large man who carries a large gun and looks very threatening.
Having your name strike fear into peoples’ hearts tends to be helpful, too. You want people to go pale in the face and start stammering when they hear your name.
JM
Anonymous asked: Hm, your page is very intruiging, but I expected a manipulator of your prestige, to be a bit more showy. These tips are all rather obvious to anyone who has any knowledge of psychology or the basic weakness of humans. I know I'm a bit biased in my own knowledge, but even an idiot could ploddingly find their way through these situations. Unless, of course, you're only revealing the knowledge that said idiots will be able to cope with. That's understandable. It's terrible dealing with these fools.
I’d suggest that, in the future, you check the Disclaimer before making a stupid comment:
’I am aware that some of these “manipulations” are quite obvious. Most manipulations are.’
Most manipulation tactics branch off from very simple, broad-ranged psychological subjects. These subjects are what most of the tips cover.
That being said, I can be knowledgeable on how to make the best soda bread you can find, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to share with the masses of the Internet. Likewise, my more in-depth tips will stay private, for obvious reasons.
JM
(He’s kidding; there are no stupid comments! That being said, if any of you have Manipulations to send in, you’re more than encouraged to do so, and if you have suggestions for any of the people who send in their problems in an ask, you’re also encouraged to give those suggestions. Do remember to check the Disclaimer before asking questions, though, because you might find the answer to your question/complaint/statement there.
ET, author of A Guide to Manipulation)
Anonymous asked: One of my parents is a narcissist. They attempt to manipulate me but I know a lot of their standard tricks (gaslighting etc, have you covered gaslighting in this blog yet btw?). Is there any way I can get some power back for myself from this parent using this knowledge or some other manipulation?
I’d suggest playing to your parent’s narcissism. Find out what they’re most proud of and compliment them on it, then use that good mood to your advantage.
It’s often easier to make a narcissist preen than to make them doubt the ability they’re naturally proud of.
JM
Anonymous asked: Just how many sex offers do you get a day? Not counting Sebastian, that is.
I don’t have to brag, let’s leave it at that.
Sebastian has yet to proposition me. Shame, that.
JM
- Strength: The importance of the influencing group to the individual.
- Immediacy: Physical (and temporal) proximity of the influencing group to the individual at the time of the influence attempt.
- Number: The number of people in the group.
JM
(You can read more on the Social Impact Theory here.)
foxteel asked: in the most recent Scientific American Mind there's an article that essentially says that people are "quick to treat themselves after a good deed or healthy act" A good example would be treating yourself to a chocolate bar the day following a big workout to "reward" yourself. Do you think this pattern could be harnessed to manipulate other's habits? If so, how would you go about it?
Yes! Well, sort of. Focusing on the ‘reward’ part is likely to be more beneficial. Understand that people tend to reward themselves not only after a good deed or healthy act, but also after something particularly taxing (allotting a certain amount of free time after writing a paper, perhaps). If you ask someone to do you a favour of some sort, reward them afterwards and allow them to make an association: helping you = reward. As a generalisation, try to be the person they associate good with (whether that’s after some good deed, healthy act, or after assisting you), and they’ll be more likely to help you in the future, anyway.
Positive reinforcement can be just as powerful as punishment (though not nearly as fun…).
JM
aguidetodisguise:
To: Jim (Mobile)
Sent: April 6th, 2012 6:01:14 AM
Got the job details.
No internet coverage there. Or mobile phone.
Either hack nearest service provider or you’ll simply hear from me in a couple of days.
Also, fuck you for sending me to the fucking Winterless North. The girl laughed for two hours straight. But I hear the hunting is good.
SM
To: Sebastian (Mobile)
Sent: April 7th, 2012 3:41:37 AM
Do try not to get arrested.
And if you bring back some dead animal, I’m going to cut off something precious of yours.
Kisses!
JM
- Compliance: when people appear to agree with others, but actually keep their dissenting opinions private.
- Identification: when people are influenced by someone who is liked and respected, such as a famous celebrity.
- Internalization: when people accept a belief or behavior and agree both publicly and privately.
I may go into more detail about the more specific types of social influence in the future.
JM
(You can read more on social influence here.)
Anonymous asked: Dear Jim, please find/steal/procure a Time Machine, go back in time, and stop Advanced Math from being a required subject while trying to get a degree to teach small children. I will fully pay whatever fee is needed in advance, because there is no logical explanation as to why I should have to know any of this in order to teach basic Math.
Absolutely not!
It’s an interesting and useful course.
JM
