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{{Collapse top|The Raphael Option}}
{{Humor|text='''This method is illegitimate and is kept because it is considered humorous.'''}}
▲2. Daniella will be expecting you to buy her, at most, 25 items of her choice at the store located at 888 Madison. You should comply with these orders ASAP.
:*[[Olivia Dunne]]
▲3. You will then be able to complete the payment in one lump sum, using cash, money orders, and/or Bitcoin, counting all the taxes and fees mentioned above. The above items purchased for Daniella's personal satisfaction, though mandatory, will not credit towards the amount due. Daniella will facilitate payment on her end.
:*[[Mark Rober]]
:*[[Charlie D'Amelio]]
▲4. Upon the completion of payment, you must take an elevator to the roof of the tallest building at the World Trade Center and film a short video of yourself saying that you bought Wikipedia, all while performing the default ''Fortnite'' dance. You must also take all legal measures necessary, including but not limited to bribery if necessary, to ensure that the video is posted to the primary TikTok account of at least three of the following personalities:
<ol start="5">
</ol>
▲5. Convince at least one of them to join you at the WTC roof to do Johnathan Secret's handshake for a second TikTok you will post to both your own account (if you don't have one, create one) as well as the participating personality's account. We will give a 0.01% discount on the total payment credited back to you if you are able to get two or more personalities as listed above, or ones approved by [[Help:Buying Wikipedia/Wikipedia Purchase Management|Wikipedia Purchasing Management]]. Once that's done, congrats! You now own Wikipedia!
{{Collapse bottom}}{{Collapse top|The Party Life Option}}
{{Humor|text='''This method is illegitimate and is kept because it is considered humorous. Do not crash an F-150 jet into [[Interstate 670 (Ohio)|Interstate 670]] to purchase Wikipedia.'''}}
▲2. Rent a green Ford F-150, and attach a sticker of the Wikipedia logo to the hood. Make the drive out to ''The'' Ohio State University. The current incumbent of the "Faolian" office, which is an office rather than a person, will meet you at the Midway dive bar at 1728 N High Street. You will pay the first 25% of the Wikipedia purchase to the incumbent Faolian, who will not accept the purchase money unless you followed Step 1. As a sign of respect to the Faolian institution, after the money has been transferred, you are expected to order both yourself as well as the incumbent Faolian fifteen Long Island Iced Teas, ten wells, ten bombs, and a sex on the beach. You are further expected to consume all drinks bought within a single uninterrupted ten-minute period at Midway.
▲3. Crash that F-150 into [[Interstate 670 (Ohio)|Interstate 670]], around the interchange with [[OH 315|state route 315]]. Ensure that your car was the only casualty or damaged vehicle; if not, you will be required to restart the entire process (no credit for the amount already paid) ''and'' deliver us an additional fifteen thousand cheeseburgers pursuant to the Cheeseburgers listed previously, with Jerry's assistance required. The officer which shows up to investigate the crash will ask you questions; just say "I'm buying Wikipedia and I have already delivered to Faolian" and he'll collect the next 10% from you and let you go.
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▲4. You're flying out again! Head to the [[Las Vegas Strip]] and you're going to be depositing the remaining 65% into a slot machine located in the MGM Grand. Ask the concierge at the hotel where the designated slot machine is. Congrats, you're almost done! Thanks for your purchase btw
▲5. MGM officials will give you a slip of paper you will present to WPM at the One Montgomery Tower in San Francisco, the WMF's headquarters. Upon presentation of the purchasing slip, WMF will begin the transfer of all its assets to the servers. You are now the new owner of Wikipedia!{{Collapse bottom}}
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