Talk:Attack of the Mutant Penguins/GA1
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Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 03:22, 11 September 2023 (UTC)
I'll take this on and will try to get to it within the week. Shooterwalker (talk) 03:22, 11 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'll start with the first section and then we can check the lead on a second pass.
- "Attack of the Mutant Penguins is a tower defense game with action, platform, puzzle, and strategy elements," -> make this a full stop
Done -- I re-arranged the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:50, 13 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure "reminiscent of Lemmings" is helpful this early. That might be the kind of thing that's better in development. Or, if it's going to be in the gameplay section, bring that up at a moment that's relevant, where we discuss how the game is similar to Lemmings.
- The first paragraph is otherwise well-written, but I'm not sure about the organization. It's a little confusing to cram the plot into a paragraph bookended by the game's genre and difficulty settings. Consider making the plot its own paragraph, if not its own short section.
- Done -- hopefully...
- " Controlling either Bernard or Rodney, the main objective of the game is to kill alien penguins that are distinguished by their outfits before they reach and trigger the Doomscale, a weighing scale-like doomsday weapon brought to Earth by the aliens as part of their domination plan" -> This leans more plot as well, and might fit better with the rest of the plot paragraph. (The part about who you control and who you kill can be separated.)
- "During gameplay, the player must obtain three letters spelling the character's main weapon (a frying pan for Bernard and a bat for Rodney) within treasure chests that are opened by dropping "Gremlins", blue creatures roaming the playfield that can be picked up." -> Let's try to put this in logical order, so an outside reader can understand. "The player can pick up a "Gremlin" creature in the playfield and drop them on a treasure chest to open it, revealing letters that unlock the player-character's weapon once you spell the right word (a bat for Rodney and a pan for Bernard)".
- " power orbs scattered when any penguin is stunned" -> " power orbs dropped when any penguin is stunned"
- "Grabbing five power orbs energizes the weapon and allows the player to kill alien penguins, while collecting ten power orbs has a different effect for each character; Bernard's main weapon can be thrown as a boomerang or transform Rodney into a fire-breathing creature. There is also a samurai power up that unlocks an The player can find a "samurai" power up which transforms Bernard into a samurai and kill alien penguins by spinning while running into them. Rodney can also grab the power up and turn into the fire-breathing creature." -> "Grabbing five power orbs energizes the weapon for more damage, while each player-character has different special attacks that are unlocked by grabbing ten orbs or a samurai power-up."
- "must grab them" -> is this a must? What happens if they don't?
- "Depending on their overall performance, the player is rewarded" -> "Depending on the player's performance, they are rewarded"
- "outweight" -> "outweigh"
- This is generally well written. I might suggest making an attempt to re-organize it a bit, keeping similar content together. (for example, a paragraph about plot, a paragraph about the main gameplay, and a paragraph about settings and modes) Shooterwalker (talk) 14:34, 13 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Shooterwalker:OK! i'll go step by step and i will ping you once i'm done with the first pass. Roberth Martinez (talk) 15:42, 13 September 2023 (UTC)