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Talk:Attack of the Mutant Penguins/GA1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by KGRAMR (talk | contribs) at 23:42, 15 September 2023. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 03:22, 11 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this on and will try to get to it within the week. Shooterwalker (talk) 03:22, 11 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll start with the first section and then we can check the lead on a second pass.
  • "Attack of the Mutant Penguins is a tower defense game with action, platform, puzzle, and strategy elements," -> make this a full stop
 Done -- I re-arranged the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:50, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not sure "reminiscent of Lemmings" is helpful this early. That might be the kind of thing that's better in development. Or, if it's going to be in the gameplay section, bring that up at a moment that's relevant, where we discuss how the game is similar to Lemmings.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:42, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first paragraph is otherwise well-written, but I'm not sure about the organization. It's a little confusing to cram the plot into a paragraph bookended by the game's genre and difficulty settings. Consider making the plot its own paragraph, if not its own short section.
 Done -- hopefully...
  • " Controlling either Bernard or Rodney, the main objective of the game is to kill alien penguins that are distinguished by their outfits before they reach and trigger the Doomscale, a weighing scale-like doomsday weapon brought to Earth by the aliens as part of their domination plan" -> This leans more plot as well, and might fit better with the rest of the plot paragraph. (The part about who you control and who you kill can be separated.)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:42, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "During gameplay, the player must obtain three letters spelling the character's main weapon (a frying pan for Bernard and a bat for Rodney) within treasure chests that are opened by dropping "Gremlins", blue creatures roaming the playfield that can be picked up." -> Let's try to put this in logical order, so an outside reader can understand. "The player can pick up a "Gremlin" creature in the playfield and drop them on a treasure chest to open it, revealing letters that unlock the player-character's weapon once you spell the right word (a bat for Rodney and a pan for Bernard)".
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:07, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • " power orbs scattered when any penguin is stunned" -> " power orbs dropped when any penguin is stunned"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:07, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Grabbing five power orbs energizes the weapon and allows the player to kill alien penguins, while collecting ten power orbs has a different effect for each character; Bernard's main weapon can be thrown as a boomerang or transform Rodney into a fire-breathing creature. There is also a samurai power up that unlocks an The player can find a "samurai" power up which transforms Bernard into a samurai and kill alien penguins by spinning while running into them. Rodney can also grab the power up and turn into the fire-breathing creature." -> "Grabbing five power orbs energizes the weapon for more damage, while each player-character has different special attacks that are unlocked by grabbing ten orbs or a samurai power-up."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:07, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "must grab them" -> is this a must? What happens if they don't?
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:26, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Depending on their overall performance, the player is rewarded" -> "Depending on the player's performance, they are rewarded"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:07, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "outweight" -> "outweigh"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:07, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
This is generally well written. I might suggest making an attempt to re-organize it a bit, keeping similar content together. (for example, a paragraph about plot, a paragraph about the main gameplay, and a paragraph about settings and modes) Shooterwalker (talk) 14:34, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:OK! i'll go step by step and i will ping you once i'm done with the first pass. Roberth Martinez (talk) 15:42, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:All right, i think i'm done with the first pass so, i'll wait for more comments... Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:46, 13 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
This is a solid start. Let's keep going.
Development
  • The first sentence here is a bit of a mouthful, and might read better split into two, if not shortened.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:31, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sunrise Games went to Slough and presented their idea, as Atari asked various companies to provide a pitch for original concepts, with Attack of the Mutant Penguins being one of the chosen ones." -> "Atari was asking various studios to propose new game concepts, and they selected Attack of the Mutant Penguins after a presentation from Sunrise Games."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:31, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Robinson's first implementation of low level graphics code had issues where the visuals would draw correctly but audio slowed down when more objects appeared onscreen, but the problem was solved after various revisions." -> "Robinson's first implementation of low level graphics code had issues where the visuals would draw correctly but audio slowed down when more objects appeared onscreen, but the problem was solved after various revisions." -> "Robinson revised the low level graphics code until issues were resolved, including an issue where audio slowed down when too many objects were on screen."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:31, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Still has since regarded the game as one of his favorite projects he worked on for the Jaguar, but expressed that "it was a little ahead of its time and people didn't get it back then, but I’ve seen it often in modern games. I doubt it was a direct influence but think we had something before the world was quite ready for it."" -> Producer Daryl Still remembers it as one of his favorite projects, describing the concept as ahead of its time, though speculating that it may have been more popular with newer audiences."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:31, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • The last paragraph is a bit of a "miscelleneous". The sentences are individually decent, but I wonder if there's anything we can do to improve the flow or organization?
 Done -- I made some slight changes to the development section, based on your comments... Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:35, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Release
  • "being one of the last releases for the Jaguar" -> "becoming one of the last releases for the Jaguar," (tweak and add comma)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:42, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "until it was eventually published" -> "but it was eventually published"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:42, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sunrise Games would later work on Grand Theft Auto 2 for Microsoft Windows and PlayStation before changing their name in 2000 to RGB Tree and being acquired by Rage Software, which rebranded the company as Rage Leeds and eventually consolidating it into a single location in 2001." -> "Sunrise Games would later work on Grand Theft Auto 2, and changed their name to RGB Tree in 2000. They were later acquired by Rage Software, who rebranded the studio as Rage Leeds before consolidating their operations in 2001."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:42, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • This section was solid. Consider simplifying the list of marketing appearances just because it feels a little too detailed, but it's not bad.
Reception
  • "GameFan's Miss Demeanor expressed criticism at the controls when in a hurry. However, Demeanor added that "there is so much fun and action in AMP that you won't care."" -> "GameFan's Miss Demeanor criticized the game's controls, while adding that "there is so much fun and action in AMP that you won't care.""
  • "Computer and Video Games's Tom Guise felt there was not much freedom to the player's actions due to the predetermined placement of traps and noted its difficulty." -> "Computer and Video Games's Tom Guise noted the game's difficulty, and felt that the player's actions were too limited due to the predetermined placement of traps."
  • "British publication Ultimate Future Games wrote that it borrowed ideas from titles such as Lemmings, ToeJam & Earl, and Sink or Swim," -> "British publication Ultimate Future Games noted the game's influence from Lemmings, ToeJam & Earl, and Sink or Swim,"
  • " disagreed" -> try not to do this unless the magazine directly responded. Try a different transition here. For example "In contrast, VideoGames magazine felt the game was engaging."
  • " agreed" -> same thing. Try "Similarly, Games World noted ..."
  • " MAN!AC's Oliver Ehrle noted the occasional stuttering during explosions and lack of music during gameplay outside intermissions, and commented that the game became more confusing in more extensive levels. Nevertheless, Ehrle was fond of the penguins animations, the traps introduced on every level, and B movie-style graphics" -> " MAN!AC's Oliver Ehrle praised the game's graphics and animations, but found some of the levels confusing, while criticizing sections that lacked music or caused stuttering."
  • "a lack of overview" -> the meaning of this is unclear. Try a rephrase?
  • " Game Players's Patrick Baggatta praised the game's colorful and stylish visuals, mixture of action and puzzle, simple controls, and accessible gameplay, but criticized the soundtrack for being uninspired." -> " Game Players's Patrick Baggatta felt that the soundtrack was uninspired, but praised the accessible gameplay, stylish visuals, and blend of action and puzzle elements."
  • " concurred with Baggatta" -> similar comment to above. try something else here
  • " ST Format's Iain Laskey highlighted its sprites and puzzles, but lambasted the introductory music and saw that the number of levels were not enough." -> "ST Format's Iain Laskey highlighted the game's sprites and puzzles, but felt that it needed more levels and better music."
  • " Löwenstein also commended "-> you use commended twice in a row here. Small word change would improve.
  • " commented positively about the audiovisual presentation" -> "gave positive reviews for the game's audiovisual elements"
  • Once again, the sentences are individually well written. But the flow starts to feel a bit scattered. See if you can find a better way to organize the flow. The DOS section is a useful start. See if you can try to give the paragraphs a bit of a subtopic -- good then mixed then bad, or audiovisuals then gameplay. Or if that's too difficult, I'm sure you can figure something out.
That will be a solid pass through the entire article body. We can circle back one more time, looking at the lead too. Shooterwalker (talk) 14:03, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Shooterwalker:OK! i'll go step by step once again and i will ping you once i'm done with the second pass. Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:44, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
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