Coltness

Coltness is the largest suburb of the town of Wishaw, North Lanarkshire, Scotland.

Lying to the north east of the town centre, Coltness is made up mainly of local authority housing stock, divided into the two distinct areas of East and West Coltness. Both areas have their own unique identities and for the most part separated by a large thick area of woodland, with a deep gorge running through it, and also by the newer private housing estate of Woodlandsgate.

East Coltness

The largest and best connected of the two areas of Coltness, is most definentely the eastern half. Following the path of the Coltness Road from its boundary with Cambusnethan, it proceeds almost level for approximately 1.5 miles before descending the steep South Calder valley where it meets the main artery of West Coltness, North Dryburgh Road.

East Coltness is served by extensive bus services from its Bus Terminus, with the local First Glasgow service number 240 running every 8 minutes from the suburb to Glasgow, as well as other operators services to places such as Motherwell(4,5,9,240), Hamilton(9), Cleland(9,248) and Coatbridge(248). It also benefits from a twice hourly express service to Glasgow(9X,X2).

All the schools in Coltness are in the eastern half, with the exception of St. Aidans RC High School, which sits in the dense woodland separating the two areas. The schools include two non-denominational primary schools, Lammermoor and Coltness, a non-denominational secondary school, Coltness High and an RC primary school, St. Aidans Primary. Both the suburbs churches also lie in the eastern half, St. Marks Church of Scotland, and St. Aidans RC Church.

The limited commerce of the suburb is also only present in the eastern side, with some convenience stores located with the housing areas, as well as few fledgling businesses such as hairdressers and takeaway foods. The main Coltness Road, also provides space for a petrol station, tool hire company, a convenience store and a public house.

Coltness is commonly known among its residents as a shite hole. The Young Fucking Ness dominate these areas, and are usually found in large groups around bus shelters drinking fine wine such as Buckfast Tonic Wine.

Coltness High School is a facility of education (incase you didn't know what a school is), which guarantees your children to achieve minimum grades and a fantastic reputation among the other Neds in the area.

West Coltness

An area mainly made up solely of 1960s local authority housing stock, this part of Coltness sits lower in the South Calder valley than its eastern counterparts. Following the path of North Dryburgh Road from its junction with Wishaw Main Street in the town centre for almost 2 miles on a hilly and bendy course until it meets Coltness Road at the foot of the South Calder valley.

This side of the suburb could be described as quiet due to its lack of commercial facilities and public transport, but has recently become a rat run for motorists travelling to the M8 wishing to avoid the town centre.

It has only one hourly bus service (24), which connects it to East Coltness and Wishaw town centre only.

Origins

Designed in the 1950s by the then Motherwell and Wishaw Burgh Council to alleviate an acute housing shortage in the area, Coltness was just one of several new "schemes" being put together in Wishaw. The other areas of Gowkthrapple, Pather, West Crindledyke and Greenhead, were all designed according to very different templates. Coltness was to be a mix of both "back and front door" housing stock and low density flatted accommodation, with lots of open green space.

It was built in an area purchased from Lord Belhaven. An area which had previously been a marshy woodland with some minor mining operations. These all surrounded the imposing Coltness House, sadly now demolished to make way for the Woodlandsgate estate built by Barratt Homes in the 1970s.

These extensive mining operations can still be traced, by the existence of a small slag heap in a woodland just off Kilmeny Crescent as well as abandoned shafts in the woodland to the east of the suburb. None of this was taken into consideration when the current housing was built which would explain why some of the larger building are suffering from minor structural problems, but any new housing planned in the area now benefits from extensive groundworks.