Super Hornio Brothers
Not to be confused with the Super Mario Franchise or the Super Mario Bros. film.
| Super Hornio Brothers Super Hornio Bothers II | |
|---|---|
 VHS covers to both editions of the film | |
| Directed by | Buck Adams |
| Produced by | Midnight Video |
| Starring | Buck Adams T.T. Boy Don Fernando Krysti Lynn Chelsea Lynx Ron Jeremy Kitty Yung |
Release date | 1993 |
Running time | 78 minutes (Super Hornio Brothers) 73 minutes (Super Hornio Bothers II) |
| Language | English |
Super Hornio Brothers & Super Hornio Brothers II are pornographic parodies of the Super Mario franchise made in 1993. Both films star Buck Adams, T.T. Boy, Chelsea Lynx, and Ron Jeremy as the main characters of the film. Considered by some as the "holy grail" of pornographic parodies, the film gained new interest after a write up by Something Awful seeked out a copy for review for it's "Horrors of Pornography" column.
Plot
Super Hornio Brothers
Computer Programmer Squeegie Hornio (Ron Jeremy) and his brother Ornio Hornio (T.T. Boy) are drawn into Squeegie's in-development computer game after a freak power overload. After regaining their bearings, Squeegie figures out and explains to Ornio that they are stuck in the black void of a computer monitor when it's turned off. A woman appears, surprising Ornio. Squeegie identifies her as Bon-Dori, Queen of Bondage (Courtney), a gatekeeper for Squeegie's computer game. Squeegie confronts and has sexual intercourse with Bon-Dori, allowing Ornio to advance ahead, where he encounters a computer virus.
When Squeegie is done with Bon-Dori and rejoins Ornio, the virus informs the brothers that King Pooper (Buck Adams) has kidnapped Princess Perlina (Chelsea Lynx). King Pooper has Princess Perlina hostage in a bedroom, intent on having Perlina help King Pooper cross into the real world to procreate with a tub full of semen energized by a special generator and rule the world.
Squeegie and Ornio travel thru the computer world, encountering other villains. The Brothers split up at one point, with Ornio getting sidetracked by a spider woman (Krysti Lynn) and King Pooper's right hand woman, Ileeza, Mistress of Evil (Kitty Yung). The two women have sexual intercourse with Ornio to delay him as much as possible.
Eventually finding King Pooper's lair, Squeegie attempts to free Princess Perlina, only to be found by King Pooper. Attempting to fight King Pooper alone, Squeegie is about to lose to King pooper, but Ornio appears and shoves King Pooper into the tub, where he melts and dies. Asking Princess Perlina about teleporting back to the real world, Perlina does but only transports herself and Ornio back, leaving Squeegie behind in the cyberworld. Attempting to manipulate the generator to get back to the real world, Squeegie is confronted and appears to be captured by a revived King Pooper.
Super Hornio Brothers II
After a lengthy recap of the first movie, Princess Perlina and Ornio teleport back to Squeegie's office. Wondering where Squeegie is, Ornio is distracted by Princess Perlina offering sex as a reward for saving her from King Pooper. After the sexual intercourse, Ornio asks Perlina to bring back Squeegie to the real world. The teleportation goes horribly wrong; Perlina teleports back both Squeegie and King Pooper just as King Pooper confronts Squeegie at the generator seen at the end of Super Hornio Brothers. King Pooper escapes, and begins to enact his plan, bluntly explained by Perlina to the Hornio Brothers as "...procreate and create more King Pooper offspring." While King Pooper hires a prostitute to start his plan, Squeegie theorizes that the generator is the key to King Poopers plan and draws up plans to destroy it.
Mimicking what they did the first time around they got drawn into the computer, Squeegie and Ornio teleport back into the computer. Guided by the computer virus, Ornio distracts the spider woman by having sex with her, allowing Squeegie and the computer virus to go back to King Poopers lair. Squeegie comes up with a plan to twart King Pooper by having the computer virus "overload" the generator and knock it out. The computer virus rubs his body against the machine, causing it to overload. Succeeding in the plan, Squeegie explains to Ornio and Princes Perlina back in the real world that by overloading the generator, King Pooper is now in "a state of limbo" and won't cause anymore trouble. Ecstatic, Princess Perlina embraces and hugs Ornio while ignoring Squeegie. A spurned Squeegie turns to the camera and says that he expected the film to end this way.
Cast
Super Hornio Brothers
- Buck Adams - King Pooper
- T.T. Boy - Ornio Hornio
- Courtney - Bon Dori, Queen of Bondage
- Don Fernando - Bob
- Krysti Lynn - Spider Woman
- Chelsea Lynx - Princes Perlina
- Ron Jeremy - Squeegie Hornio
- Kitty Yung - Ileeza, Mistress of Evil
Super Hornio Brothers II
- Buck Adams - King Pooper
- T.T. Boy - Ornio Hornio
- Don Fernando - Bob
- Krysti Lynn - Spider Woman
- Chelsea Lynx - Princes Perlina
- Ron Jeremy - Squeegie Hornio
Production
Initially, porn studio Sin City Entertainment funded the project, but dropped out, leaving Buck Adams to seek the help of Midnight Video to finish the film. In return for funding, Adams was asked by Midnight Video to trim the 37 page script, split the film into two movies, and to cut the filming schedule from three days to two.[1][2]
Something Awful
In July of 2008, Zack Parsons of Something Awful was tipped off by a forum post claiming that there was a pornographic parody of Super Mario Brothers. Initially dismissed as fake, upon being confirmed as real, SA attempted to buy the film thru retailers with no luck. In August of 2008, Parsons issued a challenge for SA's "Horrors of Pornography" section of the site to obtain a copy of the film to review.[3] After numerous false leads ranging from SA users giving a sex only CD-ROM with none of the dialogue scenes to people remembering they once had it but ultimately having some other porno they mistaken for Super Hornio Brothers to one seller wanting $300 for the coveted copy, an anonymous benefactor gave SA a DVD-rip of Super Hornio Brothers 2 for SA to review in June of 2009. Super Hornio Brothers 2 contained a recap of the first movie, which was sufficient enough for SA to play catchup with the first film.
The SA article is often the basis of other sites "finding out" about and making articles about the porn parody.[4][5][6] In addition, the film is both claimed to have both existed and not existed by many people.[1][2][3]
Critical reception
In the "Horrors of Pornography" column, Something Awful's Zack Parsons, reviewing Super Hornio Brothers 2, gave the movie a -33 rating, and noted that Buck Adams did a much better adaptation of the Super Mario Franchise than the Super Mario Bros. film.[2] Initially, Parsons wondered how such a movie escaped the attention of the Internet for so long, with one speculation that Nintendo had engaged in legal actions against the producers of the film.[3]
The Cinema Snob reviewed both Super Hornio Brothers and Super Hornio Brothers 2. While noting that the film is considered to be the "holy grail" of pornographic parodies, The Cinema Snob ripped into both films, noting the inconsistencies of the pornographic parodies, ranging from how characters were named and cast, ways that the film could use various Super Mario video game sound effects to better the film, to overt references to 1990's Los Angeles such as the 1992 Los Angeles riots.[1][7]
References
- ^ a b c "Super Hornio Brothers". The Cinema Snob. August 5, 2010. Retrieved February 17, 2012.
- ^ a b c "The Super Hornio Brothers Saga". Something Awful. June 25, 2009. Retrieved February 17, 2012.
- ^ a b c "A Horrors of Porn Call to Action". Something Awful. August 7, 2008. Retrieved February 17, 2012.
- ^ "Vintage Porn Parodies: "Super Hornio Brothers"". Fleshbot. June 25, 2009. Retrieved February 17, 2012.
- ^ "A Tale Of Miracles: The Internet's Search For A Mario Porno". Gameranx. December 26, 2011. Retrieved February 17, 2012.
- ^ "The 'Super Hornio Brothers' Mystery Gets a Christmas Revival". AVN. December 27, 2011. Retrieved February 17, 2012.
- ^ "Super Hornio Brothers II". The Cinema Snob. October 10, 2010. Retrieved February 17, 2012.