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Talk:Imran Khan (film actor)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 13:25, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I missed the chance for the Peer review :( but I will surely help you with the GA review. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 13:25, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! :) GleekVampire | talk! 13:41, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
External links
 Done The India Today links aren't dead. — GleekVampire | talk! 20:26, 30 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
  • director and producer or director-producer?
 Done
  • He then starred in I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Delhi Belly (2011), Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (2011) and Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu (2012), all of which were commercially successful. --> This makes it sound like these were the only movies he starred which is not. So rephrase it like "He then starred in a number of commercially successful films like I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Delhi Belly (2011), Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (2011) and Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu (2012)."
 Done
  • I think the lead can be extended a little more. At present seeing the content of the article body the lead can definitely bulked up
What else can I add? (I'm not very good with leads) :P
Early life
  • again, director-producer?
 Done
  • Khan was educated at Bombay Scottish School, where he developed a bad stammer due to corporal punishments such as caning --> Use He instead of Khan
  • (Short note, I loved reading about his childhood and the Gurukul) :)
 Done & thanks!! :)
  • Khan then moved to Sunnyvale, California, where he lived with his father and attended Fremont High School --> A mention of the year would be beneficial to put the timeline into perspective.
Couldn't find the exact year. However, an article does mention that he moved there "during his late teens". Should I add that?
  • I think the portion from him returning to India to the film role should move into the Acting career section
Shouldn't the Kishore Namit acting institute part stay in the early life section? — GleekVampire | talk! 12:16, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Well I would say no. Khan being an actor, and that he enrolled into an acting school and prepared himself as an actor is definitely a beginning of his acting career and especially from the part where he bagged the role in Jaane Tu. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:00, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - However, none of the sources have mentioned the exact year he returned to India. — GleekVampire | talk! 02:14, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Will continue later. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 07:51, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Debut
  • Khan made his debut in 2008 with Abbas Tyrewala's romantic comedy --> just use Tyrewala
 Done
  • Khan was nominated for --> Directly write "Khan won the award for Best Male Debut at the 54th Filmfare Awards, sharing the trophy with Farhan Akhtar".
 Done
  • Gaurav Malani of Indiatimes observed --> The article was published in The Economic Times, not Indiatimes
 Done
  • Luck alongside Sanjay Dutt, Mithun Chakraborty and Shruti Haasan --> Luck alongside Dutt, Mithun Chakraborty and Shruti Haasan
 Done - Removed individual cast names; wrote "ensemble cast" instead
  • The critical reviews for Luck, why not write them in your own words, there is excessive WP:QUOTEFARM in the section.
  • And combine the Kidnap and Luck paras together since that would be coherent.
 Done - Combined the I Hate Luv Storys and Break Ke Baad paras instead; both films released in the same year.
  • The I Hate Luv Storys receptions. Since you say it was generally well-received, that denotes that a negative reception was embedded somewhere. It would be better if you can topple up the two positive reviews with a little criticism.
 Done
  • Another thing, wherever you are not mentioning anything about the opposite lead role actor, I don't think its worth the mention.
 Done - Removed Luck cast, Sonam Kapoor (IHLS) and Deepika Padukone (BKB)
  • The image used in the section, does not add anything for the encyclopedia, albeit being a free image. Why don't add something from the Jaane Tu.. premiere with the photo of the cast? That way you can add a little more commentary. Check Priyanka Chopra and how the image for 7 Khoon Maaf premiere is added.
 Done
  • Also, I saw mainly whatever is a critical perspective. Where are Khan's thoughts, quotes and inspirations for the roles etc? This will be valid for the next section also.
 Done — GleekVampire | talk! 02:20, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Success
  • Delhi Belly, first black comedy by Imran, definite case of needing something from the actor's perspective.
 Done
  • Khan played Kush Agnihotri, a man who falls in love with his brother's bride --> Khan played Kush Agnihotri, a man who falls in love with his brother's bride, played by Zafar and Kaif, respectively.
 Done
  • Can you vary the prose tone of each of the film paras? Basically they have the same block structure "Starred in XX film opposite YY, mixed/positive/negative reception but was worldwide flop/success... followed by two critic quotes" Makes a really dull read.
 Done
  • The para about Ek Main Aur EkTu is the exact thing I want throughout the article scattered. Khan's idea and perspective comes through here.
  • WP:QUOTEFARM applies heavily to this section
 Done - Removed 2 review quotes.
  • Lisa Tsering's critic is not catering to this film, its overall perspective of Khan's emrgence as a light-hearted comedy actor. Find a different review.
 Done
  • Khan began 2013 by starring in Vishal Bhardwaj's Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola, ---> Start differently "Following Ek Main..., Khan starred in Vishal Bhardwaj's Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola (2013), "
 Done
  • The film was a box office failure;[45][46] it (and Khan's performance) received mixed reviews from critics ---> Wrong construction, rephrase
 Done
 Done — GleekVampire | talk! 02:48, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Other ventures
  • Give a one-liner about what's The Vagina Monologues
  • entitled --> titled
  • That quote starting from "I care about animals.." put it in a <blockquote></blockquote> template
  • Can we get a little more info about the endorsements? Like did he promote them through ads, or came in print media, or went on a tour etc.
 Done
Personal
  • said of them --> said of them:
  • He retained his mother's second name in tribute because she, a single parent, raised him on her own --> Rephrase the construction
  • at age 19—according to him --> That should be a en-dash, not em-dash
  • Khan's uncontroversial, quiet lifestyle ---> non-controversial
 Done
Image
  • This section is pretty good and well done.
Thanks! :)
Others
 Done — GleekVampire | talk! 02:56, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

On hold for 7 days. Good work Gleek Vampire. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:00, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Good job, passing the article. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:43, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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