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The Love We Share Without Knowing

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On a train filled with quietly sleeping passengers, a young man’s life is forever altered when he is miraculously seen by a blind man. In a quiet town an American teacher who has lost her Japanese lover to death begins to lose her own self. On a remote road amid fallow rice fields, four young friends carefully take their own lives—and in that moment they become almost as one. In a small village a disaffected American teenager stranded in a strange land discovers compassion after an encounter with an enigmatic red fox, and in Tokyo a girl named Love learns the deepest lessons about its true meaning from a coma patient lost in dreams of an affair gone wrong.

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

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About the author

Christopher Barzak

61 books459 followers
Christopher Barzak is the author of the Crawford Fantasy Award winning novel One for Sorrow which has been made into the Sundance feature film Jamie Marks is Dead. His second novel, The Love We Share Without Knowing, was a finalist for the Nebula Award and the James Tiptree Jr. Award. His third novel, Wonders of the Invisible World, received the Stonewall Honor from the American Library Association and most recently was selected for inclusion on the Human Rights Campaign’s list of books for libraries in LGBTQ welcoming schools. He is also the author of three short story collections: Birds and Birthdays, a collection of surrealist fantasy stories, Before and Afterlives, a collection of supernatural fantasies, which won Best Collection in the 2013 Shirley Jackson Awards, and Monstrous Alterations. His most recent novel, The Gone Away Place, received the inaugural Whippoorwill Award, and was selected for the Choose to Read Ohio program by the State Library of Ohio, the Ohioana Library Association, and the Ohio Center for the Book.

Christopher grew up in rural Kinsman, Ohio, has lived in the southern California beach town of Carlsbad, and the capital of Michigan; he taught English outside of Tokyo, Japan, where he lived for two years. He teaches creative writing at Youngstown State University, in Youngstown, Ohio.

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5 stars
193 (33%)
4 stars
217 (37%)
3 stars
112 (19%)
2 stars
44 (7%)
1 star
11 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews
Profile Image for Luke Narlee.
Author 3 books160 followers
December 5, 2016
This is actually one of my favorite books of all time. Top five for sure. Certainly my favorite opening chapter of all time. Pure poetry from beginning to end (not literally, but you know what I mean). It's not always the most uplifting book ever, but there's real magic to be found in it. And I'm not talking about Harry Potter magic, either. It influenced me to view the world in a whole different way. It strengthened my belief in the human condition. Reminded me how much we all need each other in this world. It's been too long since I've read it, actually. Many years. I think I'll re-read it and return with a more thorough review that will actually do it justice. But for now, I'll say this... I read this at a time in my life when I wasn't reading or writing much of anything, but this book motivated me to not only start reading a whole lot more, but to sit down and finally take real steps towards publishing my own novel, in hopes that, I too, could sprinkle a handful of magic onto other people's lives, the same way this book does.
Profile Image for K. Lincoln.
Author 16 books92 followers
August 27, 2009
Christopher Barzak is a writer from Ohio who went to Japan. (sound familiar? I actually met him there and had a conversation with him and Yoshio Kobayashi).

And his second novel, The Love We Share Without Knowing , is a book I recommend to Everyone (including my parental units.)

It's the intertwining story, centered in Ami, Japan, of a group of people and how love and death touches their lives.

But the reason I recommend this book, is because there are very few Western authors who can write about Japan, and write Japanese characters in Japan, and get it mostly right. I think Christopher Barzak gets it mostly right. He captures the pressures of society so well that when characters commit suicide you understand why.

He captures in his foreigners-in-Japan characters some of the reasons we run away from home.

And in the end, he teaches through all his characters that we can choose the masks that we wear to tell the world who we are, but in the end, they are only masks and are changeable.

It's a beautifully written book as well as being insightful into how English-speaking Westerners and Japanese encounter eachother in Japan.

Recommended for: Anyone over the age of 13. (for some truthful scenes about death and sex)
Profile Image for Greyweather.
87 reviews75 followers
March 22, 2009
This book is hauntingly, achingly beautiful. So much of the fantasy genre is dedicated to escapism, but this book doesn't make me want to escape. It makes me want to run out and hop on a plane to halfway around the word so I can kiss a stranger in a city I've never been to before. It makes me want to embrace life in all its wonderful and terrible ways.
Profile Image for Christopher.
Author 61 books459 followers
September 4, 2012
"Because if you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?" --RuPaul ;-)
Profile Image for Gerhard.
1,190 reviews739 followers
January 30, 2015
There is a particular kind of science fiction that delves into the mysteries of ‘otherness’, such as the works of Ursula K. Le Guin. The Love We Share Without Knowing reminds me of such Le Guin masterworks as Always Coming Home, as both deal with the rituals of alien cultures. Then again, Christopher Barzak also reminds me strongly of William Gibson and David Mitchell, but also particularly of Graham Joyce and Jonathan Carroll.

There is such a plethora of authors and books available today that we inevitably compare books we like to what we have encountered before. I generally do not have a problem with this, as one’s taste and aesthetic are constantly evolving (one hopes). The fact that Barzak reminds me so strongly of so many other authors I admire is a strong testament to his craft.

At the end of the day, of course, he is his own wordsmith. And there is such a singular talent behind this book, such a luminosity of insight and vision, that it is quite overpowering and overwhelming at times.

What I loved about this book is how unclassifiable it is, how much of a shimmering mystery it refracts into when one reads it. This intricate Russian Doll nesting of short stories, linked together by a careful patterning of repeat characters, is breathtaking to behold as a work of literary art.

I cannot begin to say enough about Barzak’s technical mastery here. Suffice it to say, this novel is simply exquisite. It takes a while to get into, and at the beginning all the pieces seem so random and ephemeral, but then when things start to fit together, there is such a sense of resolute completion and joyous culmination, that the reader is quite swept away.

No novel can be complete without heart and emotion though. This is one of the best evocations of expatriate culture I have ever read, and of being a foreigner on strange shores. Expats know innately how such a profound dislocation can often highlight the idiosyncrasies of their own societies as much as it does of their host cultures; Barzak explores this dichotomy with intimacy and delicacy.

This book caused such conflicting emotions in me. It is sad and funny, melancholic and elegiac, tender and wistful. In other words, full of the wondrous dichotomies of life. Barzak’s focus on Japanese culture, and its curious, almost schizophrenic commingling of folk tradition and cutting-edge technology and cultural assimilation, is a very good metaphor for the dislocation that the modern, hyper-texted world often engenders in its cosmopolitan masses.

How to deal with loneliness and being alone in an urban sprawl, the effort it takes to connect with a fellow human being, and the poverty of feeling and reaction as we become increasingly benumbed by the very technology that we think is our only salvation: this novel is an extraordinary paean to what it means to be human.
Profile Image for Lisa Gray.
Author 1 book10 followers
March 20, 2010
"We live in a world of illusion. I'm telling you this up front because I don't want you thinking this story is going to have a happy ending. It won't make any sense out of sadness. It won't redeem humanity in even a small sort of way."

Such begins Christopher Barzak's second novel, and it could describe his philosophy on writing. He seems obsessed with death and dead characters, imagining a world that few of us even want to think about. Add to that the fact that these are short stories, connected by characters, and I'm not a big fan of short stories.

So you'd think it would be a bust, right? I could NOT put this book down - it's a laundry-ignoring, call in sick kinda book. His first book "One for Sorrow" was also very strange, and yet I could not stop reading. I like this one oh, so much better, though.

Set in Japan, in a rural area outside of Tokyo, we get a series of stories. Some character from a previous story always shows up in the next one in the cleverest way. The writing is haunting, beautiful. A travel guide to Japan, a coming of age story, and ultimately a story about life and death. Do read it.
Profile Image for Logan.
7 reviews1 follower
January 1, 2011
"The terrible thing about love that it takes away your safety net, your balancing pole. Even the tightrope you walk upon will disappear beneath you, yet love expects you to keep walking anyway, arms outstretched, one foot after another, or nothing more than air"

Christopher Barzak presents this novel as nine interwoven short stories, written while he was living in Japan. The stories present the complexity of love like the streets of Tokyo and other cities through which the characters travel. The novel wouldn't be in the Japanese style if it didn't have a good measure of tragedy, but its through these events by which the characters transcend and find meaning.

It's no surprise that this book was shortlisted for a Nebula award (yes, it's classified as Sci-Fi). My last book read of 2010 and definitely my favourite.
Profile Image for Chloe.
35 reviews8 followers
May 1, 2016
I read this more than 6 months ago, and so the book is not fresh in my mind. However, it is one of those books that holds a special place in my heart, and I'm sure I'll read it again. It is a brilliantly written collection of short stories that elegantly weave together with overlapping characters. This book is haunting, but in a magical not-scary way. It had elements of fairy tale in it. It poignantly touched on themes like friendship, isolation, identity, love, pain, and growth. One of my all time faves. I highly recommend reading The Love We Share Without Knowing.
Profile Image for Ray.
344 reviews1 follower
December 21, 2016
A book written with such poetry and life almost like each chapter had it's own separate heartbeat. It grew louder and louder begging to be heard. By the end of the book each beat that was separated once now beat in unison so loud it can be heard long after you turn the last page.
Profile Image for Deborah.
6 reviews
September 8, 2018
Beautifully written, evocative, and brilliantly conceived. I loved this book, and know I will be haunted by it for a very long time.
Profile Image for J.
12 reviews
February 1, 2019
I read this book years ago - and I am still haunted by it.
7 reviews3 followers
April 2, 2015
If at first the haphazard sections in Christopher Barzak's "The Love We Share Without Knowing" throw you off, don't worry -- he'll soon take your hand and explain every theme again and again in as simple a way as possible so you won't have any trouble seeing how they fit together.

Normally I enjoy when authors fragment narratives, but I only appreciated Barzak's decision to splinter his narrative in almost every section because if the individual sections were extended, they would be too dull to read. Set in Japan, Barzak tries to handle his characters, especially the Japanese, delicately, but ends up crafting almost entirely vapid, sentimental sequences. Magical realism somehow fails to enliven the book and comes off as the half-hearted gimmick of someone too circumspect to offend a culture. There are some moving passages, but they exist in a world teeming with platitudes.
Profile Image for Oleksandr Zholud.
1,308 reviews129 followers
April 24, 2018
This novel was nominated for both Nebula and Locus awards for best novel. However, it is clearly not a SF and only marginally a fantasy. The book itself states it is a “psychological fiction”. I’d add magical realism.
The novel consists of a score of short stories. They are all set in modern Japan and a group of Americans and Japanese. Each story has own main character(s) but the following ones uses earlier ones as a background and/or minor characters. This is a very nice primer to some aspects of Japanese culture and how it is viewed by English-language teachers from the US. The list of topics ranges from suicide to homosexuality to inability to let go to, as the title suggests ‘The Love We Share Without Knowing’. It is a very nice literary fiction, albeit not the type I usually read.
Profile Image for Jim.
2,796 reviews140 followers
April 19, 2018
the first story got me excited for some uber-depressing interwoven tales... alas, it was a short-lived excitement (and that wasn't meant as a pun about the suicides of young people)... not quite sure what happened, but maybe all the "gawd, is this book depressing!" reviews got me thinking it would be pages of awfully good awfulness... nah, just run-of-the-mill boredom... not enough depth, or too much effort on connecting the tales, maybe? smatterings of culture shock and culture ennui and personal issues, but rather tepid and unremarkable... but this was a miss for me...
39 reviews
March 7, 2018
This book is a life changer. I couldn't put it down. I loved the feelings that it evoked in me during all of the different stories. My heart broke at times for the love and loss and the missed moments. This book is really a great read, it made me want to travel to Japan. Christopher has done it again with a great story that felt so real with his details of the environment. Thank you!!!
116 reviews
June 10, 2018
This was an interesting one. Several interlacing stories, each broadening and fleshing out each other. Not easy, not effortless to read, but so worth putting in the effort when you're presented with this rich tapestry of a story. Excellent.
Profile Image for Jefferson.
231 reviews
June 9, 2016
I could be flip and say I hated this book, and that wouldn't be too far from the truth. I read it for a book club, otherwise I would have put it down after a few chapters. I'm glad I stuck it out, though, as the last two chapters were actually pretty good, and I also realized a little bit more about the structure of the novel as a whole. There is some craft here, some intent to the writing.

The Love We Share Without Knowing (great title, by the way) is a series of interlocking stories set in Japan. Each chapter has a different point of view: an American teenager whose family has moved to Japan, a dissatisfied secretary who commits suicide, a group of American English teachers, the ghost of a young girl. I realized at the end that the chapters mirror each other, the first and last chapter are a pair, then the second and second to last and so forth, though there are threads that connect all of them. The tone is poetic and philosophical, which works best for the interior monologues of the Japanese characters, and sounds stilted in the mouths of the Americans. In one chapter, where a gay American confronts his mother as they tour Japan, the dialogue was egregiously bad: no one talks like that.

I can't fault the author for his ambition, and like I said, there is some craft here. It's not lazy writing. What I kept thinking as I read, though, was that David Mitchell did this exact type of story with more success in Ghostwritten and number9dream.
1,273 reviews9 followers
September 10, 2020
THE LOVE WE SHARE WITHOUT KNOWING is beautifully told in connected short stories of different characters throughout the book. I loved how each story had a small or big effect with one or two of the other stories. The writing is amazingly stunning at times.

I wasn't expecting this to be separate stories which take place in and around Tokyo and yet fill in the blanks of character's stories. (I will admit that I wanted a story of one protagonist after the first "Chapter" and so was a bit disappointed because we never got back to that first American family that moved to a quiet town outside of Tokyo.) The other characters connected well, they worked together and interacted together. The Kitsune, Midora, was one of the few connecting character through the majority of the stories--in one way or another. I loved her character and the different reasons for Americans to want to teach English in Japan and how different the cultures were: Who wanted to stay, who wanted to go home. Wanting to find love, finding love, losing love, feeling at home, and feeling foreign all at the same time.

The stories woven into a tapestry of two cultures and generational attitudes that created a rich picture that was obviously based on Barzak's time teaching in Japan himself and from that time, these stories were given life.

If you love language and storytelling, this is the book for you.
Profile Image for Megan.
393 reviews7 followers
March 16, 2010
This book is filled with so many tiny little beautiful lines, hidden in sad paragraphs. It's hard not to feel depressed after reading this, even though there are bright spots of hope every once in awhile. Every story in this book is interconnected, in the same way a movie like Love, Actually has multiple characters threading in and out of each other's lives. I sometimes found it difficult to remember which character was which, never quite sure what the author was alluding to or what connections he was trying to make, but that kind of contributed to the overall story. Everyone ends up connected in various ways, even if they themselves never realize it, don't know how the person they brush by on the subway is connected to their own lives.

The only difficulty I had with the book besides mixing characters up was the dialogue. It was just hard to read. People don't speak in paragraphs, they don't spill out gobs of text without being interrupted, forced to pause for clarification. It felt jarring and unrealistic for me to have blocks of dialogue the same length as narrative.

Other than that, the book was a good read. It's really hard to describe the mood of the book, but I took away from it a little bit of hope amidst a lot of sadness.
Profile Image for nathaniel.
567 reviews16 followers
February 12, 2021
I liked the liked the writing the the melancholic/sad lamentations on social interactions, love, and finding a place you fit in.

I wish there were a little more connective tissue between the chapters. Especially in the beginning it fed into my short story aversion. But everything is lovely enough that in the end I enjoyed the whole experience.
Profile Image for Bookmarks Magazine.
2,042 reviews785 followers
June 17, 2010
Have we unfairly placed this novel in the SF section? That's where Barzak and his fans come from, but this story will appeal to those who normally don't touch the genre. As far as classification difficulties go, many critics felt it was a stretch to call The Love We Share Without Knowing a novel rather than a short story collection. But few held this against Barzak, and it was clear that every reviewer fell in love with at least one story from the book. Critics also appreciated Barzak's light fantastic touch; they hesitated to even call it "magical realism," since events that seem to have supernatural elements to one character in the book may seem completely pedestrian to another. As several observers pointed out, this is a particularly apt style for the depiction of Japan, a simultaneously traditional and modern country. It also suits the book's young characters, who are caught between a longing for the fantasy of childhood and the independence of adulthood. This is an excerpt from a review published in Bookmarks magazine.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
72 reviews4 followers
April 10, 2020
I really can't remember the last book I read where every line was so well-honed that none drew attention to itself (or every single one did). Really, this is language mastery. Take this, for instance: "It's strange to remember I used to think I'd do anything to leave here. Now I can't get enough of people. Now I can't get enough of this place. The moon is always right in front of me or just beyond the curve of my shoulder." (See how Barzak takes us from the universal through simply constructed sentences to the truly poetic?) The interconnected stories in this novel are hauntingly beautiful, only slightly fantastical (slight enough for this reader of realism)--reminiscent of fairy tales but modern and culturally relevant, today. As a reader, I appreciated being swept away to a place I've never been--Japan--and felt I was in good hands, that the author had been of this world he'd created. As a writer, I appreciated the form this novel takes, the threads and cast of characters whose lives are woven together so expertly.
Profile Image for Brad Medd.
50 reviews6 followers
March 20, 2016
'The Love We Share Without Knowing' is a richly woven series of narratives surrounding communication, love, and the complications of identity created by our own human nature. Barzak's talent for articulating with few words what I've found impossible with many is what sets his work apart from anything else I've read. The range of feeling and emotional depth that hides beneath each sentence is astonishing. For the second time, Barzak's work has been the hand that reaches out to my soul, not only offering clarity but new directions to gaze in when I've grown tired staring down the old ones.

This novel is achingly beautiful, even to those who've never set foot in Japan, and Barzak's understanding of Japanese culture fits the novel's ideas perfectly. How can somewhere so far be so familiar? What does if mean to be Japanese? What does if mean to be American? What does it mean to be human, or anything at all?

Read it. Even if it gives you no answers, you won't be left feeling alone.
Profile Image for Holly Fairall (birdbrainbooks).
660 reviews54 followers
Read
December 8, 2019
The Love We Share Without Knowing by Christopher Barzak is an intelligently-written book following a set of interconnected characters in Japan, many of whom are struggling with finding a sense of identity or meaning, grappling with loss, and contemplating or committing suicide.
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It’s a heavier read but not without hope and a lot of beauty; some sections are stronger than others but all work well together to portray this slice of life.
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As a Japanophile, I really enjoyed the rich detail and sense of place the book conveys—it really captures Japan from the point of view of both Japanese and foreigners living in Japan, which is where the author himself is coming from.
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It’s not a page turner but a great introspective slow burn that I’m glad I read.
Profile Image for Art.
95 reviews
February 4, 2020
Read for the Hugo & Nebula - Best Novels Group

A fantastic read in many aspects, the author tackles some pretty heavy themes but not for a single moment it ever feels that it is done for the sake of shocking or grossing the reader out. There are bound to be many readers who will find themselves struggling with a great share of "Japonology" introduced into the narrative and some of the things might get lost if not in translation itself but in immense culture barrier that still persists.

Don't get confused by my 4* rating, I loved the book through and through
Profile Image for VJ.
329 reviews25 followers
November 7, 2010
The stories in this book are haunting, perhaps because they are told against a backdrop of suicide, lost love, alienation, and all the human problems that trouble our peace of mind and heart. That the locale is modern Japan and the descriptions of angst that accompany coming to terms with self and loss are played out in a place as lovely and historically complex as Japan increased my enjoyment of this work immensely.
Profile Image for Jack Hastings.
209 reviews
October 18, 2012
Yes, there is more than a passing resemblance to Murukami in approach and certainly in setting, but Barzak is more accessible and poetic in prose. There is a tendeness toward his characters, to the human condition and the complications of love, that sets him apart. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Andrew Bernstein.
268 reviews4 followers
May 18, 2016
5 star title! Backed up by a good read. Very much enjoyed many of the intertwined stories in this novel (is it really one?). Some magical realism and a Japanese setting make the comparison to murakami obvious though this stands on its own.
Profile Image for Karen Cremean.
93 reviews1 follower
June 8, 2016
Melancholy, well written.
I cannot describe this as a series of short stories, they are more like vignettes, powerful scenes showing the sometimes subtle, sometimes intense relationships between people.
Profile Image for SJ.
412 reviews6 followers
December 31, 2016
I really loved these stories- they were engrossing and and absorbing. I wanted to know more, to be there and that's the best kind of feeling you can get from a book. Interwoven stories can be tricky but this was beautifully written.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews

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