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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned
He’s one of America’s most recognizable and acclaimed actors–a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his eleven years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.
“My mother didn’t try to stab my father until I was six,” begins Alda’s irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.
Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.
It is the story of turning points in Alda’s life, events that would make him what he is–if only he could survive them.
From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist’s shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can’t be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed , filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.
“My mother didn’t try to stab my father until I was six,” begins Alda’s irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.
Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.
It is the story of turning points in Alda’s life, events that would make him what he is–if only he could survive them.
From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist’s shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can’t be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed , filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.
235 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
About the author
Alan Alda
16 books471 followersFull name: Alphonso Joseph D'Abruzzo
Son of actor Robert Alda
Husband of children's book author Arlene Alda
Alan Alda is an American actor, director, screenwriter, comedian and author. A six-time Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award winner, he played Hawkeye Pierce in the war television series M*A*S*H.
Son of actor Robert Alda
Husband of children's book author Arlene Alda
Alan Alda is an American actor, director, screenwriter, comedian and author. A six-time Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award winner, he played Hawkeye Pierce in the war television series M*A*S*H.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,018 reviews
October 23, 2009
When I was a kid I would sit in our playroom and watch M*A*S*H* on my black and white TV while everyone else was busy doing their thing. I remember Little House on the Prairie being on at the same time, so my sister and Mom must have been watching the Ingalls. And my Dad...well he wasn't interested in M*A*S*H*. He hated Alan Alda.
According to my Dad, Hawkeye, and Alan Alda by extension, was a bleeding heart liberal, and the only things worse than bleeding heart liberals in our house were "fags" or true commies (and bleeding heart liberals were practically the latter). M*A*S*H* was too anti-war for my Dad, too anti-America, and the way Hawkeye criticized the military industrial complex, whether explicitly or implicitly, pissed my Dad off to no end.
I doubt he'd admit those feelings today, or admit that he ever said the things he did. Not because he's changed his opinions in any fundamental way, mind you, but because he wouldn't want people to think he was intolerant. It was acceptable in my childhood to badmouth "fags" and say they deserved to be put on an island and nuked, just as it was acceptable to preach the commie menace. Nobody looked at him askance back then, but they would now, so he'd never admit he'd held his intolerant line.
I loved Hawkeye's tolerance. It felt right to me despite what my father said. I loved that Hawkeye loved his father because I wanted that for myself. I loved that Hawkeye was funny and talented and fought injustice.
So I would lose myself in M*A*S*H* whenever I got the chance. When it wasn't on TV that was okay because I taped episodes on my little hand held cassette recorder and listened to them until I had them memorized. I learned comic timing watching Alan Alda. I learned my first lessons in acting from the man, and I loved, when I was old enough to notice, that he wrote many of the episodes he acted in.
I was worried when I picked up Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned that learning more about Alan Alda would disappoint me. I was expecting a lot about the M*A*S*H* years, and a William Shatner style musing on the pettiness of his cast mates. The big stars of big shows always seem to be forced to defend themselves in their memoirs, and I braced myself for the sad reality of narcissism and ego I was sure was coming. I shouldn't have been afraid.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned barely mentions M*A*S*H*. There is one chapter and a couple of passing connections here and there but that's all. Instead, Alda's first memoir is as much about being a human as it is about being an actor. It's about his schizophrenic mother (which was particularly unsettling), his slightly distant, loving but guilt ridden father, the woman he has loved for almost fifty years, his strange obsessions with science, number systems, acting and, of course, writing (and whatever one makes of his acting, the man can write). It's about stuffed dogs and memory and bowel resections.
It made me love him more than I already did, replacing my worship with genuine respect and a little touch of awe for his ability to really submerse himself in the best of life.
Mr. Alda is another father who raised me despite my Dad's influence. I want to tell him how much he's meant to me...but I can tell y'all instead.
According to my Dad, Hawkeye, and Alan Alda by extension, was a bleeding heart liberal, and the only things worse than bleeding heart liberals in our house were "fags" or true commies (and bleeding heart liberals were practically the latter). M*A*S*H* was too anti-war for my Dad, too anti-America, and the way Hawkeye criticized the military industrial complex, whether explicitly or implicitly, pissed my Dad off to no end.
I doubt he'd admit those feelings today, or admit that he ever said the things he did. Not because he's changed his opinions in any fundamental way, mind you, but because he wouldn't want people to think he was intolerant. It was acceptable in my childhood to badmouth "fags" and say they deserved to be put on an island and nuked, just as it was acceptable to preach the commie menace. Nobody looked at him askance back then, but they would now, so he'd never admit he'd held his intolerant line.
I loved Hawkeye's tolerance. It felt right to me despite what my father said. I loved that Hawkeye loved his father because I wanted that for myself. I loved that Hawkeye was funny and talented and fought injustice.
So I would lose myself in M*A*S*H* whenever I got the chance. When it wasn't on TV that was okay because I taped episodes on my little hand held cassette recorder and listened to them until I had them memorized. I learned comic timing watching Alan Alda. I learned my first lessons in acting from the man, and I loved, when I was old enough to notice, that he wrote many of the episodes he acted in.
I was worried when I picked up Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned that learning more about Alan Alda would disappoint me. I was expecting a lot about the M*A*S*H* years, and a William Shatner style musing on the pettiness of his cast mates. The big stars of big shows always seem to be forced to defend themselves in their memoirs, and I braced myself for the sad reality of narcissism and ego I was sure was coming. I shouldn't have been afraid.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned barely mentions M*A*S*H*. There is one chapter and a couple of passing connections here and there but that's all. Instead, Alda's first memoir is as much about being a human as it is about being an actor. It's about his schizophrenic mother (which was particularly unsettling), his slightly distant, loving but guilt ridden father, the woman he has loved for almost fifty years, his strange obsessions with science, number systems, acting and, of course, writing (and whatever one makes of his acting, the man can write). It's about stuffed dogs and memory and bowel resections.
It made me love him more than I already did, replacing my worship with genuine respect and a little touch of awe for his ability to really submerse himself in the best of life.
Mr. Alda is another father who raised me despite my Dad's influence. I want to tell him how much he's meant to me...but I can tell y'all instead.
May 24, 2020
OK so I read this book hoping for a funny biography - obviously because when I think of Alan Alda, I think of Hawkeye from M*A*S*H.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed has moments of hilarity but not many. I actually don't care because I got more out of this book than I expected before I picked it up. This is Alan Alda like I haven't known him. The book starts out from Alan's early years when he was following his Father around during his stage career, and by association, Alan was introduced to the lifestyle.
The book gives us an outside view of Alda's life and at times it is raw. The struggles, defeats and finally the successes but this is definitely not Hawkeye. This is not the hijinks of M*A*S*H although at times Alda lets his screen presences shine through. I have found respect for Alda through this read, much more than the fun times he brought me on the screen, the memories of sitting with my parents watching him run around in the Korean War.
A stage actor, a TV actor, a director and a movie actor, Alda has covered it all and seen it all but the man is so much more than just what he portrays.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed has moments of hilarity but not many. I actually don't care because I got more out of this book than I expected before I picked it up. This is Alan Alda like I haven't known him. The book starts out from Alan's early years when he was following his Father around during his stage career, and by association, Alan was introduced to the lifestyle.
The book gives us an outside view of Alda's life and at times it is raw. The struggles, defeats and finally the successes but this is definitely not Hawkeye. This is not the hijinks of M*A*S*H although at times Alda lets his screen presences shine through. I have found respect for Alda through this read, much more than the fun times he brought me on the screen, the memories of sitting with my parents watching him run around in the Korean War.
A stage actor, a TV actor, a director and a movie actor, Alda has covered it all and seen it all but the man is so much more than just what he portrays.
August 25, 2010
My dad use to watch M*A*S*H when I was a kid but I would usually leave the room or pick up a book to block it out, war stuff scared me and was never my thing. Those little snippets were all I knew about Alan Alda but the title of this one called my name.
This isn’t one of those gossipy tell-alls and the book barely touches on Alda’s time on M*A*S*H. It’s a memoir about his entire life and I found it fascinating and quietly funny. Alda grew up surrounded by performers and parents who were merely children in grown up bodies. His mother was mentally unstable and grew increasingly worse as she aged. His dad was a somewhat famous, handsome actor but he was never paid well so Alda grew up on the edge of broke and remains pretty humble even when he gains his own fame. He marries young and miraculously STAYS married to the same woman throughout all of the ups and downs of his career.
His childhood was very unconventional and learning about it was the best part of the book. He was bounced around from town to town while his father followed work wherever it led them. Because of this Alda developed some ticks that made him the prime target of bullies in the private school where he is later enrolled. He just wanted to make people laugh, that’s all he knew, but the other kids thought he was off his nut. He struggled for quite some time trying to make it as an actor, taking on any oddball job he could get to help support his young family. His wife must have been incredibly supportive and I’m glad they managed to hold it together. You don’t hear these sorts of stories often and I’m glad I took the time to listen to this one.
This isn’t one of those gossipy tell-alls and the book barely touches on Alda’s time on M*A*S*H. It’s a memoir about his entire life and I found it fascinating and quietly funny. Alda grew up surrounded by performers and parents who were merely children in grown up bodies. His mother was mentally unstable and grew increasingly worse as she aged. His dad was a somewhat famous, handsome actor but he was never paid well so Alda grew up on the edge of broke and remains pretty humble even when he gains his own fame. He marries young and miraculously STAYS married to the same woman throughout all of the ups and downs of his career.
His childhood was very unconventional and learning about it was the best part of the book. He was bounced around from town to town while his father followed work wherever it led them. Because of this Alda developed some ticks that made him the prime target of bullies in the private school where he is later enrolled. He just wanted to make people laugh, that’s all he knew, but the other kids thought he was off his nut. He struggled for quite some time trying to make it as an actor, taking on any oddball job he could get to help support his young family. His wife must have been incredibly supportive and I’m glad they managed to hold it together. You don’t hear these sorts of stories often and I’m glad I took the time to listen to this one.
July 29, 2010
If you're going to read something by Alan Alda, get the audio version and have it read to you by Alan Alda.
I knew nothing about his life and I am so glad I picked this up. He grew up in the world of vaudeville, learning the theater from the wings. For anyone interested in acting, this is a good look of what to do and what not to do.
It's not a study of acting though, but you can't have Alan Alda's autobio without information on acting.
The most powerful moments for me involve his mother. She suffered from mental illness, possibly schizophrenia, but in her day and age, mental illness was not to be discussed and brought shame to everyone involved. She was hospitalized briefly and Alda was furious with his father for letting it happen. Long after his parents had both passed, he was finally able to get to a place where he was able to ask questions and learn about mental illness to try and understand what his mother went through. He later begins to show signs of depression and his wife gently suggests he gets help.
Alda's wife Arlene is a new hero of mine. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be the success he is. She would ask questions that pushed him to examine his decisions and helped him become better, both as an actor and a human being.
I, of course, loved the sections about MASH and was thrilled that it covered his Scientific American Frontiers, which I'm still hoping will come to Netflix. I wasn't sure how much of his life his book covered, so having it run this far into his career was great. He even mentions his amazing role on The West Wing.
I can recommend this to anyone that likes memoir and biographies because there are so many great stories. Even if you aren't a huge Alan Alda fan (is that even possible?) it's a wonderful read.
I knew nothing about his life and I am so glad I picked this up. He grew up in the world of vaudeville, learning the theater from the wings. For anyone interested in acting, this is a good look of what to do and what not to do.
It's not a study of acting though, but you can't have Alan Alda's autobio without information on acting.
The most powerful moments for me involve his mother. She suffered from mental illness, possibly schizophrenia, but in her day and age, mental illness was not to be discussed and brought shame to everyone involved. She was hospitalized briefly and Alda was furious with his father for letting it happen. Long after his parents had both passed, he was finally able to get to a place where he was able to ask questions and learn about mental illness to try and understand what his mother went through. He later begins to show signs of depression and his wife gently suggests he gets help.
Alda's wife Arlene is a new hero of mine. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be the success he is. She would ask questions that pushed him to examine his decisions and helped him become better, both as an actor and a human being.
I, of course, loved the sections about MASH and was thrilled that it covered his Scientific American Frontiers, which I'm still hoping will come to Netflix. I wasn't sure how much of his life his book covered, so having it run this far into his career was great. He even mentions his amazing role on The West Wing.
I can recommend this to anyone that likes memoir and biographies because there are so many great stories. Even if you aren't a huge Alan Alda fan (is that even possible?) it's a wonderful read.
November 30, 2015
Before reading this book I knew little about Alan Alda. Of course I was one of the millions who welcomed him into my living room each week as he portrayed Hawkeye on M.A.S.H. Later, went the lights went off and Alda went on to other things, I’d see his warm face from time to time, but never paid much attention to his career.
Our book group chose this, a bit different than most memoirs we have read before. Memoirs in themselves can be sketchy, just giving a bit of a life but not the whole picture. Alda’s promised something just by its title. One of the group said,”Gee, I thought this was going to be funny” as he read the opening sentence and finds Alda’s mother trying to stab his father when he was only six years old. This along with a life in burlesque, a mother with mental illness and a father who was distant, certainly isn’t funny but does give some basis to the man Alda becomes.
It’s not all horror though and some parts are downright funny, even the part of the dog being stuffed. You wonder throughout just who Alda really wants to be; actor, writer, activist? And as he tells you just this much, you want him to tell you more. There’s a whole lot missing about his father (maybe another story, another day), and lots missing about his wife and children, though the love for them comes through strongly.
I really liked the last chapter called Golden Time. Alda describes how the term is used on movie sets, that after a crew has worked twelve straight hours, they go into overtime where every hour is worth two. Alda, after a close call with death, realizes what Golden Time really means. If I take one thing away from this book, Golden Time would be it. I’ll keep in mind his parting advice, “whatever you do, for God’s sake, don’t stuff your dog”.
I’d never have picked this up but for book group. I thank them all the time for their choices. I always learn something from the book but I learn more from listening to the group, their opinions, their stories, their take on the book we’ve read.
I wouldn’t say this is the best book I’ve ever read but I am glad I read it. It gives me new respect for a man who started his life as Alfonzo Joseph D’Abruzzo and one I knew only as Hawkeye.
Our book group chose this, a bit different than most memoirs we have read before. Memoirs in themselves can be sketchy, just giving a bit of a life but not the whole picture. Alda’s promised something just by its title. One of the group said,”Gee, I thought this was going to be funny” as he read the opening sentence and finds Alda’s mother trying to stab his father when he was only six years old. This along with a life in burlesque, a mother with mental illness and a father who was distant, certainly isn’t funny but does give some basis to the man Alda becomes.
It’s not all horror though and some parts are downright funny, even the part of the dog being stuffed. You wonder throughout just who Alda really wants to be; actor, writer, activist? And as he tells you just this much, you want him to tell you more. There’s a whole lot missing about his father (maybe another story, another day), and lots missing about his wife and children, though the love for them comes through strongly.
I really liked the last chapter called Golden Time. Alda describes how the term is used on movie sets, that after a crew has worked twelve straight hours, they go into overtime where every hour is worth two. Alda, after a close call with death, realizes what Golden Time really means. If I take one thing away from this book, Golden Time would be it. I’ll keep in mind his parting advice, “whatever you do, for God’s sake, don’t stuff your dog”.
I’d never have picked this up but for book group. I thank them all the time for their choices. I always learn something from the book but I learn more from listening to the group, their opinions, their stories, their take on the book we’ve read.
I wouldn’t say this is the best book I’ve ever read but I am glad I read it. It gives me new respect for a man who started his life as Alfonzo Joseph D’Abruzzo and one I knew only as Hawkeye.
January 2, 2009
A while back, mr czuk and I had a driveway moment- one of those times when what is on the radio is so interesting, you don't want to get out of the car to go inside. What was so interesting? One of our favorite NPR shows, "What do you know" with Michael Feldman was on with Alan Alda as the guest for the first segment. Alda was so great in telling stories from his childhood that I turned to mr czuk and said, "I'll have to try and find his book. It sounds great." I was gifted this copy by my friend Robin.
I found the early part of this (and thus the early part of Alda's life) particularly fascinating. Also the bits and pieces relating to M*A*S*H. All in all, he seems like a nice guy, which is nice, because I really wanted to keep liking him. Interesting to read about Vaudeville (my dad was in Vaudeville, too) and about life with his parents. I remember the episode of M*A*S*H which had both his father and brother in it....Also was slightly stunned to learn of his mother's mental illness and the impact it has had on his life. Nice to find an actor, with fame to his name, who has stayed true to his one true love and adores his kids and grandkids.
I found the early part of this (and thus the early part of Alda's life) particularly fascinating. Also the bits and pieces relating to M*A*S*H. All in all, he seems like a nice guy, which is nice, because I really wanted to keep liking him. Interesting to read about Vaudeville (my dad was in Vaudeville, too) and about life with his parents. I remember the episode of M*A*S*H which had both his father and brother in it....Also was slightly stunned to learn of his mother's mental illness and the impact it has had on his life. Nice to find an actor, with fame to his name, who has stayed true to his one true love and adores his kids and grandkids.
February 16, 2018
He seems like a very nice person. He is a wonderful actor. As an author, well, he is an excellent actor.
May 3, 2015
I've always loved Alan Alda as an actor. This book makes be love the man he is just as much. On film his sincerety humanity shine through. The book also shows his insecurities, joys, and integrity. He had a pretty tough and unusual childhood. His experiences teach him many lessons. His mother is mentally ill, and his father is a good man but always on the road performing. Alda learns that he loves to makes people laugh and especially loves improvisation. He loves books and learning. He learns that life in uncertain but that uncertainties be most interesting and transformative. He shares the beautiful relationship with his wife and the joys of family life. I enjoyed his descriptions of his days on the set of MASH. He's really not like the womanizing, wise-cracking Hawkeye. His unsureness as he approaches this role is endearing. He goes on after MASH to host a Scientific American science show that highlights his insatiable curiousity about the world and the universe. The honesty of this autobiography makes it so worth reading. I recommend the audio version as it is read by the author and is such a pleasure to listen to.
May 11, 2015
This was really lovely to read. Above all, it confirmed my notion of Alan Alda as a kind man and I loved getting to know him a little better amid his strange and fascinating life stories. Recommended for fans and for those interested in acting, show business, mental illness, family dynamics and even physics.
November 12, 2023
A thoughtful memoir full of stories
I highly recommend this one. I learned that Alan Alda campaigned for the Equal rights amendment. I learned that his father was a full time performer and that his earliest childhood memories feature show girls and comedians.
Alda is observant and good at telling stories that make you care.
I highly recommend this one. I learned that Alan Alda campaigned for the Equal rights amendment. I learned that his father was a full time performer and that his earliest childhood memories feature show girls and comedians.
Alda is observant and good at telling stories that make you care.
May 30, 2022
He's one of America's most recognisable and acclaimed actors-a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing during his eleven years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances. 'My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six,' begins Alan Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving, but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on after early struggles to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.
Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only begun to grow. It is the story of turning points in his life, events that would make him what he is - if only he could survive them.
From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father in him, personally and professionally, he learns the hard way that change, uncertainty and transformation are what life is made of, and the good life is made of welcoming them.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about Nature, good humour and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any he's ever played on the stage or screen.
Yes it is all the above, his childhood, his life, but I am a film buff so sadly filled with his life but very little mentioned about his showbiz life, his films his co-stars.
It lacked the humour I had expected of this author/actor. Interesting information on his life, his parents, his growing up, his work away from the camera, never realized his success as a script writer/director. Never realized his work as a nature presenter, but still not quite as interesting as I had hoped.
I wanted to know and read more about his success in films , his co stars, his friendships.
Not for me, maybe others will enjoy, I did not. Two stars.
Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only begun to grow. It is the story of turning points in his life, events that would make him what he is - if only he could survive them.
From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father in him, personally and professionally, he learns the hard way that change, uncertainty and transformation are what life is made of, and the good life is made of welcoming them.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about Nature, good humour and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any he's ever played on the stage or screen.
Yes it is all the above, his childhood, his life, but I am a film buff so sadly filled with his life but very little mentioned about his showbiz life, his films his co-stars.
It lacked the humour I had expected of this author/actor. Interesting information on his life, his parents, his growing up, his work away from the camera, never realized his success as a script writer/director. Never realized his work as a nature presenter, but still not quite as interesting as I had hoped.
I wanted to know and read more about his success in films , his co stars, his friendships.
Not for me, maybe others will enjoy, I did not. Two stars.
July 2, 2020
Alan Alda has always been a hero to me. He has no problem with standing up for what he believes (or does not believe), and is willing to face the consequences.
This book has its light moments, but is not really a comedy. It is a reflection of a life lived, its challenges, triumphs and heartaches. Do not expect your typical Hollywood tell-all sensationalism. Here is a monogamous couple who have been together for years and years. Here also is an interesting, educational and intelligent discussion of Art and acting, and its place in the world.
I enjoyed this book thoroughly, and had trouble putting it down. A man of many talents, all excellent.
This book has its light moments, but is not really a comedy. It is a reflection of a life lived, its challenges, triumphs and heartaches. Do not expect your typical Hollywood tell-all sensationalism. Here is a monogamous couple who have been together for years and years. Here also is an interesting, educational and intelligent discussion of Art and acting, and its place in the world.
I enjoyed this book thoroughly, and had trouble putting it down. A man of many talents, all excellent.
June 4, 2020
Well-written Alan Alda autobiography that has plenty of humor.
August 17, 2021
What a lovely read! I've always found autobiographies by actors fascinating, because I find the process of acting, of performing, theater and shooting film and tv interesting. I love hearing about the thing I love to watch from the inside.
Alan Alda has always been a favorite of mine, ever since I watched M*A*S*H* in my teens. When I was 17 he was in Denmark, in Roskilde, shooting something for the BBC (I think, could have been Discovery Channel), about the Viking age, and I happened to be learning to sail Viking ships in Roskilde when he and the film crew was there. I managed to get my nerves under control and said hello to him in some manner I've forgotten now. I had asked if he would sign something to which he replied he didn't do that, "but I'd be glad to shake hour hand", he continued, in his distinctive voice. I can still clearly hear those words today in my heard
He was okay with me photograph him if I could catch him, though he didn't pose, so I have a couple of photos of him strolling on the pier of the Viking ship museum island. I cherish those photos so much.
Listening to him narrate his own words makes me like him even more. He's funny, interesting and entertaining, and there is character growth. I now even understand his reaction to my questions that day on that pier, not that it needed any further justification, I've always thought fondly of it and his authenticity.
Good thing he's written more stuff, I'll definitely check those out!
Alan Alda has always been a favorite of mine, ever since I watched M*A*S*H* in my teens. When I was 17 he was in Denmark, in Roskilde, shooting something for the BBC (I think, could have been Discovery Channel), about the Viking age, and I happened to be learning to sail Viking ships in Roskilde when he and the film crew was there. I managed to get my nerves under control and said hello to him in some manner I've forgotten now. I had asked if he would sign something to which he replied he didn't do that, "but I'd be glad to shake hour hand", he continued, in his distinctive voice. I can still clearly hear those words today in my heard
He was okay with me photograph him if I could catch him, though he didn't pose, so I have a couple of photos of him strolling on the pier of the Viking ship museum island. I cherish those photos so much.
Listening to him narrate his own words makes me like him even more. He's funny, interesting and entertaining, and there is character growth. I now even understand his reaction to my questions that day on that pier, not that it needed any further justification, I've always thought fondly of it and his authenticity.
Good thing he's written more stuff, I'll definitely check those out!
October 4, 2015
I gave this four stars instead of five as it seemed to be somewhat disjointed. At times it seems the book is going in chronological order pursuant to Mr. Alda's life and then suddenly you jump back or forward in time.
as to the content, this is not a tell-all book or an exploration into Mr. Alda's fantastic life. rather, this is a compilation of stories that have lead Mr. Alda to come to certain realizations about life and why we do what we do. that is not to say it is a self-help book, either. It is a great story of his journey through life with some of the more transformative moments explained along with what Mr. Alda learned from those moments.
I really enjoy Alan Alda as an actor and this book was an insight into some of the more difficult challenges that he faced as he grew. What I liked most about it was that he continued to learn throughout his life and never felt himself terribly important due to his acting career. I enjoyed learning more about him and his childhood.
as to the content, this is not a tell-all book or an exploration into Mr. Alda's fantastic life. rather, this is a compilation of stories that have lead Mr. Alda to come to certain realizations about life and why we do what we do. that is not to say it is a self-help book, either. It is a great story of his journey through life with some of the more transformative moments explained along with what Mr. Alda learned from those moments.
I really enjoy Alan Alda as an actor and this book was an insight into some of the more difficult challenges that he faced as he grew. What I liked most about it was that he continued to learn throughout his life and never felt himself terribly important due to his acting career. I enjoyed learning more about him and his childhood.
February 14, 2012
I've liked Alan Alda since I was a kid watching "M*A*S*H" with my parents. This look inside his life was eye-opening, to say the least, but he tackles even the roughest subjects with his trademark humor. I only wish there had been more about "M*A*S*H" in the book, though I realize the series was just a snippet of his overall life story. A must read for any fan.
March 28, 2016
Alan Alda is pretty witty, smart, and introspective and this just reassured me that I'd enjoy a conversation with him in real life as well!
January 30, 2022
He's probably only interesting to the older reader, but as someone who's watched M. A. S. H. a million times on reruns it was fascinating to hear of some background of him and other actors.
Alan's upbringing, his life in theatre.
A good read indeed.
Alan's upbringing, his life in theatre.
A good read indeed.
June 13, 2008
Let me start this review off with a little disclosure. I am a complete and utter Alan Alda fangirl. My grandmother was a Robert Alda fan and I remember comparing notes with her during those few M*A*S*H episodes where the two acted together. So when I heard Alda on the radio back when Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned I've wanted the book. Mom got me a copy for last Christmas and my inner fangirl squeed with delight.
Was the book worth the wait? Yes! I tore through my copy in about a day and I enjoyed it start to finish. If you are looking for facts and figures and geeky trivia, this book isn't for you. If on the other hand you want to see what makes the man tick and get a very personal recollection of his life, then this is the perfect book.
Don't expect much about his time on M*A*S*H, it (like everything else in the book) gets one chapter. As the book is short, the chapter too is short (under 20). If you're specifically looking for information about the TV show, I highly recommend making a trip to UCLA to look at the Larry Gelbert papers in the Film and Television special collections.
I have to admit that I was glad that M*A*S*H didn't take up much of the book's length. I can sing along with every episode and I know that piece of his carrier well; probably most fans my age do. The one thing I wish he had mentioned that wasn't in the book were his post M*A*S*H films (and my favorite Woody Allen film Manhattan Murder Mystery).
I liked his first memoir well enough that I have his second memoir in my reading queue: Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself. I'll be reviewing it in late July or early August.
Was the book worth the wait? Yes! I tore through my copy in about a day and I enjoyed it start to finish. If you are looking for facts and figures and geeky trivia, this book isn't for you. If on the other hand you want to see what makes the man tick and get a very personal recollection of his life, then this is the perfect book.
Don't expect much about his time on M*A*S*H, it (like everything else in the book) gets one chapter. As the book is short, the chapter too is short (under 20). If you're specifically looking for information about the TV show, I highly recommend making a trip to UCLA to look at the Larry Gelbert papers in the Film and Television special collections.
I have to admit that I was glad that M*A*S*H didn't take up much of the book's length. I can sing along with every episode and I know that piece of his carrier well; probably most fans my age do. The one thing I wish he had mentioned that wasn't in the book were his post M*A*S*H films (and my favorite Woody Allen film Manhattan Murder Mystery).
I liked his first memoir well enough that I have his second memoir in my reading queue: Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself. I'll be reviewing it in late July or early August.
August 9, 2012
It is reassuring to learn that the actor that I have loved and admired is the "real" person I have always assumed he must be. Had to be. He couldn't possibly be some limp dick like so many other movie stars that we love in film but are so disgusting about their real life (think Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, and okay maybe even ... Johnny Depp).
This is quite a departure memoir, as in the remembrances that are are so revealing, poignant, the grim side of his life and living with/dying with his literally crazy mother. I digress.
There was just the right amount of the show business stuff, and the ugly grueling side of comedy to keep me interested. It was fascinating in a way to see the long slow build to his success and how Arlene kept after him to keep after his goal. I loved that.
Also for the good dad he had. I never knew how handsome and successful his father was and how much they loved each other. The competitiveness of them with each other, how they eventually helped each other. Touching, real, and so Alan...again, revealing.
I wondered just how he would end the book and it was so clever and I'm sure exactly how it happened.
Having loved this so much I started the second one and it's not any where near as good. At least, to me. SO...if you loved MASH and like Alan the actor, this is the best choice.
Also, one big surprise...he's really really smart. And loves science...and theories and all that. Who knew?
This is quite a departure memoir, as in the remembrances that are are so revealing, poignant, the grim side of his life and living with/dying with his literally crazy mother. I digress.
There was just the right amount of the show business stuff, and the ugly grueling side of comedy to keep me interested. It was fascinating in a way to see the long slow build to his success and how Arlene kept after him to keep after his goal. I loved that.
Also for the good dad he had. I never knew how handsome and successful his father was and how much they loved each other. The competitiveness of them with each other, how they eventually helped each other. Touching, real, and so Alan...again, revealing.
I wondered just how he would end the book and it was so clever and I'm sure exactly how it happened.
Having loved this so much I started the second one and it's not any where near as good. At least, to me. SO...if you loved MASH and like Alan the actor, this is the best choice.
Also, one big surprise...he's really really smart. And loves science...and theories and all that. Who knew?
February 17, 2015
WARM AND WITTY, BUT (PERHAPS) NOT AS WISE.
“My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six.” ― Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned
NEVER HAVE YOUR DOG STUFFED: AND OTHER THINGS I’VE LEARNED, by Alan Alda was not quite as easy, or enjoyable, a listen as was Alda’s other memoir, THINGS I OVERHEARD WHILE TALKING TO MYSELF, perhaps, in part, because the audiobook of THING I OVERHEARD was narrated by Alan, himself, and NEVER HAVE YOUR DOG STUFFED wasn’t. And, too, the latter listen seemed to contain a bit more of the ‘woo-woo’ side of weirdness.
Recommendation: Still, this memoir is rife with interesting and enjoyable stories; replete with warmth and wit, and perhaps a tad of wisdom. And you just can’t beat Alda for great titles.
“life itself was an improvisation in which I was going to have to deal with what came to me and not think about what should have come.” ― Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned
MP3 Audiobook, 8 hours, 22 minutes.
“My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six.” ― Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned
NEVER HAVE YOUR DOG STUFFED: AND OTHER THINGS I’VE LEARNED, by Alan Alda was not quite as easy, or enjoyable, a listen as was Alda’s other memoir, THINGS I OVERHEARD WHILE TALKING TO MYSELF, perhaps, in part, because the audiobook of THING I OVERHEARD was narrated by Alan, himself, and NEVER HAVE YOUR DOG STUFFED wasn’t. And, too, the latter listen seemed to contain a bit more of the ‘woo-woo’ side of weirdness.
Recommendation: Still, this memoir is rife with interesting and enjoyable stories; replete with warmth and wit, and perhaps a tad of wisdom. And you just can’t beat Alda for great titles.
“life itself was an improvisation in which I was going to have to deal with what came to me and not think about what should have come.” ― Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned
MP3 Audiobook, 8 hours, 22 minutes.
January 24, 2015
A book for soul
Read
July 12, 2022Definitely one of the more unusual childhoods I've encountered. Also an admirably happy marriage, which is nice to see.
July 10, 2020
It was ok. He spent the vast majority of the memoir on his youth and the part where he was actually a working actor was rushed and vague. Granted, he did have a pretty interesting childhood with parents working on the burlesque circuit before his dad signed a movie contract, his mom developing schizophrenia and Alan contracting polio when he was 7.
I actually decided to read this memoir because I recently read Carol Burnet's memoir and in it she mentions Alan. She wrote that when they met as adults, they discovered they had lived on the same street in Hollywood when they were little kids. However, they never met because Alan was recovering from polio. He would lie in bed and watch the kids outside on the street playing and he was one of them. Carol was one of those kids. As a vague aside, she mentions his "difficult" childhood which seemed to be saying polio was not the only issue he dealt with. Difficult is an understatement.
The parts about his mother's schizophrenia were very moving to read. Back then, you just didn't talk about mental illness and so it was something both he & his father hid not only from the world but from each other. They never had a conversation about her increasingly disturbed behavior! It was all swept under the rug, even when his mom attempted to stab his dad in front of 6 year old Alan. Wow. The next day everyone pretended it had never happened. What a head trip!
While I did appreciate the stories of his youth, I had hoped for more about his career itself. He didn't even start writing about MASH until the book was 70% over. I barely got a sense of what happened. About the only bit that stuck was when he mentioned going out to a farewell dinner with the cast and noticing when driving to the restaurant that the streets were empty. It then hit them that it was because everyone was inside, watching the MASH finale. 125 million people watching the same tv show at the same time - thats NUTS. Nowadays with the tv audience so segmented, a "hit" show has a fraction of that audience. The Big Bang Theory, the top tv show last year, had an audience of 18 million. 18 million vs 125 million. That's a vast difference.
Anyway, so the end result of reading this memoir was that I felt disappointed. When an actor writes a memoir, they need to understand that people want to read about the actor's career, not about the actor's childhood and pre fame days.
#Popsugar Challenge 2020/A book with a great first line
I actually decided to read this memoir because I recently read Carol Burnet's memoir and in it she mentions Alan. She wrote that when they met as adults, they discovered they had lived on the same street in Hollywood when they were little kids. However, they never met because Alan was recovering from polio. He would lie in bed and watch the kids outside on the street playing and he was one of them. Carol was one of those kids. As a vague aside, she mentions his "difficult" childhood which seemed to be saying polio was not the only issue he dealt with. Difficult is an understatement.
The parts about his mother's schizophrenia were very moving to read. Back then, you just didn't talk about mental illness and so it was something both he & his father hid not only from the world but from each other. They never had a conversation about her increasingly disturbed behavior! It was all swept under the rug, even when his mom attempted to stab his dad in front of 6 year old Alan. Wow. The next day everyone pretended it had never happened. What a head trip!
While I did appreciate the stories of his youth, I had hoped for more about his career itself. He didn't even start writing about MASH until the book was 70% over. I barely got a sense of what happened. About the only bit that stuck was when he mentioned going out to a farewell dinner with the cast and noticing when driving to the restaurant that the streets were empty. It then hit them that it was because everyone was inside, watching the MASH finale. 125 million people watching the same tv show at the same time - thats NUTS. Nowadays with the tv audience so segmented, a "hit" show has a fraction of that audience. The Big Bang Theory, the top tv show last year, had an audience of 18 million. 18 million vs 125 million. That's a vast difference.
Anyway, so the end result of reading this memoir was that I felt disappointed. When an actor writes a memoir, they need to understand that people want to read about the actor's career, not about the actor's childhood and pre fame days.
#Popsugar Challenge 2020/A book with a great first line
April 13, 2024
Audible has a version narrated by Alan Alda, but it's abridged. Who abridges a memoir? I started a membership on a new audiobook service in part because they had the unabridged version - only to realize it wasn't narrated by him. I don't know if it was a scheduling conflict or if he didn't want to go through some of what he wrote or something else, but I was very bummed out. I want all the details, but I want his voice. I honestly think it's worth creating a version that is his narration where it exists and the other narrator where it doesn't.
It's a good book. He's had a very interesting life, he's a great story teller, and I think he's insightful while still self aware. I wanted so much more about M*A*S*H, but you read the book to learn about him as a person, and you realize he's so much more than M*A*S*H, and his approach to life and fame makes clear why it isn't the focus of the book. But I still hoped for more.
It's a good book. He's had a very interesting life, he's a great story teller, and I think he's insightful while still self aware. I wanted so much more about M*A*S*H, but you read the book to learn about him as a person, and you realize he's so much more than M*A*S*H, and his approach to life and fame makes clear why it isn't the focus of the book. But I still hoped for more.
February 13, 2020
Alan Alda's memoir shows him to be the thoughtful, intelligent man any M*A*S*H fan knew him to be all along. Learning of his life's story interested me, especially in his honest discussion of his rivalry with, and ultimate acceptance of, his father. I also appreciated the way he finds in his imagination a way to preserve memories. That said, I found this book a bit disappointing. Alda does not go into detail about some parts of his life which I believe would have made for a more fascinating read. For instance, did you know he had polio as a boy? That his mother was mentally ill? These elements should have been dealt more in depth. Ditto his M*A*S*H experiences, a part of his life story that many of us will be left wanting more than the fairly reticent account Alda offers. Still, he comes off as a genuinely nice man grateful for all that life has given him and that is a joy to read. Three and a half stars.
September 26, 2022
I've always loved the actor, so it was a real treat to read about his life, told in his own words. His trademark humor is in every page, and he lived a truly fascinating life before reaching stardom on MASH. Well worth a read.
July 3, 2024
"Arta inseamna munca, inteligenta, intuitie, presupunand uneori sa gandesti atat cu trupul, cat si cu mintea. Dar arta mai inseamna si joc - un joc in acelasi timp inteligent si inocent, deopotriva control si abandon.
Freud spunea ca viata inseamna de fapt capacitatea de a iubi si de a munci. Iar eu cred ca asa este. Dar viata mai este si joc. Jocul poate aduce inapoi trecutul si, chiar daca nu o face, jocul inseamna prezent si inseamna sa te amuzi. Mai mult ca oricand, am sentimentul ca lucrurile care conteaza din tot ce facem sunt iubirea, munca si jocul.
In ce ma priveste, cel mai bun dintre toate, pentru ca le si face mai bune pe celelalte doua, este jocul."
Freud spunea ca viata inseamna de fapt capacitatea de a iubi si de a munci. Iar eu cred ca asa este. Dar viata mai este si joc. Jocul poate aduce inapoi trecutul si, chiar daca nu o face, jocul inseamna prezent si inseamna sa te amuzi. Mai mult ca oricand, am sentimentul ca lucrurile care conteaza din tot ce facem sunt iubirea, munca si jocul.
In ce ma priveste, cel mai bun dintre toate, pentru ca le si face mai bune pe celelalte doua, este jocul."
October 1, 2024
What is it about male actors who just love to ramble on about everyday details and random thoughts? Meanwhile they skip over details about relationships and the actual show we know them from.
Overall this book was disappointing.
Overall this book was disappointing.
April 11, 2018
****NOVEL THOUGHTS****
3.8
I listened to this as an audio book on a long road trip and it was a good 'company-keeper.'
Never Have your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I Have Learned is a road map to life.
One thing I learned, Alan Alda is not Hawkeye Pierce, his most well-known character, womanizer, martini drinker and all around crazy prankster. But where they do intersect was that Alda and Hawkeye are good, kind people who seek attention and validation from other people, which is not exactly a flaw. Don't a lot of us look for that? Alda, it might surprise you suffered a bout of polio, was a victim of bullies, had a mother who suffered with paranoid schizophrenia, as a young boy, moved from town to town with his father's burlesque troop and didn't have much of an early education, and that he always wanted to be a writer. Eventually he was sent to a catholic boarding school and was very affected by this religious influence in his life; it also taught him at a early age to think for himself, question the world and make his own choices. He married his wife Arlene and the two of them have been together for almost 50 years. Arlene has supported him, his career, his travels and his long spans of time away just as he has loved and been proud and appreciative of her accomplishments in taking care of their 3 daughters and their crazy lifestyle. I think he could become the actor he is today because of Arlene in a lot of ways. She helped make him, pushed him, encouraged him, made him question choices. What was surprising though was the strained and distance in the relationship with his dad, Robert Alda. Robert was a seasoned and successful actor, handsome and sought after by the movies as well as Broadway. Starting as a toddler, Alan watched from the wings of the theaters as his dad performed and he learned much from this experience; it was here that developed Alan's desire to entertain. This book is not exactly a tell-all about his acting experiences, though there a few references to his shows, but more how he approached his craft, what he learned about himself to become successful at acting. He shows his soft underbelly throughout the book and doesn't shy from offering his vulnerabilities. There are certainly funny bits, after all Alda is a funny guy but as a memoir, it is more explained as a lesson of Life, serious and honest. If you are looking for a behind the scenes of M*A*S*H, this isn't that. But what you will find, is how one guy realizes that how experiences you have in your life, good and bad, influence you profoundly and to quote another memorable TV doctor "how when life handed him the sourest lemons and he made something resembling lemonade." Good advice for us all!
3.8
I listened to this as an audio book on a long road trip and it was a good 'company-keeper.'
Never Have your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I Have Learned is a road map to life.
One thing I learned, Alan Alda is not Hawkeye Pierce, his most well-known character, womanizer, martini drinker and all around crazy prankster. But where they do intersect was that Alda and Hawkeye are good, kind people who seek attention and validation from other people, which is not exactly a flaw. Don't a lot of us look for that? Alda, it might surprise you suffered a bout of polio, was a victim of bullies, had a mother who suffered with paranoid schizophrenia, as a young boy, moved from town to town with his father's burlesque troop and didn't have much of an early education, and that he always wanted to be a writer. Eventually he was sent to a catholic boarding school and was very affected by this religious influence in his life; it also taught him at a early age to think for himself, question the world and make his own choices. He married his wife Arlene and the two of them have been together for almost 50 years. Arlene has supported him, his career, his travels and his long spans of time away just as he has loved and been proud and appreciative of her accomplishments in taking care of their 3 daughters and their crazy lifestyle. I think he could become the actor he is today because of Arlene in a lot of ways. She helped make him, pushed him, encouraged him, made him question choices. What was surprising though was the strained and distance in the relationship with his dad, Robert Alda. Robert was a seasoned and successful actor, handsome and sought after by the movies as well as Broadway. Starting as a toddler, Alan watched from the wings of the theaters as his dad performed and he learned much from this experience; it was here that developed Alan's desire to entertain. This book is not exactly a tell-all about his acting experiences, though there a few references to his shows, but more how he approached his craft, what he learned about himself to become successful at acting. He shows his soft underbelly throughout the book and doesn't shy from offering his vulnerabilities. There are certainly funny bits, after all Alda is a funny guy but as a memoir, it is more explained as a lesson of Life, serious and honest. If you are looking for a behind the scenes of M*A*S*H, this isn't that. But what you will find, is how one guy realizes that how experiences you have in your life, good and bad, influence you profoundly and to quote another memorable TV doctor "how when life handed him the sourest lemons and he made something resembling lemonade." Good advice for us all!
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