Tumblr Battle #1

• This bootleg issue has got me thinking, so I made a little parody of Cabinet Battle #1 to reflect the discourse going on right now. In this case, Jefferson is representing the pro-bootleg tumblrites, while Hamilton is well... Lin. I made a statement about this before, so the arguments in the battle are just reflective of what I've seen.
• Enjoy.
• Washington: The issue on the table. Hamilton4me's plan to release a bootleg for anyone to see. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor.
• Jefferson:
• Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
• We fought for these ideals, we shouldn't settle for less.
• These are wise words. Enterprising men quote em'.
• Don't act surprised you guys cause I wrote em!
• Yooo but y'all can't see.
• Watching this musical ain't nevah gonna be.
• We're too poor, or too far. Can't get there with one car.
• So watching this bootleg is all that's left to me.
• And don't give me shit about it Lin.
• Let tell you something, man where to begin.
• Your show flew, Moana's due, there's so that much you can do.
• So why not let have us, the people, have this win.
• Stand with me, in the land of the free, and pray to God that we can fix this inadequacy.
• Listen when it comes to us, we're not choosy.
• So we ain't gonna wait until you try an' sell that movie.
• Washington: Thank you Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response
• Hamilton:
• Thomas, that was real nice declaration. But can't you see this musical's going across the nation?
• Don't you think I should have some pride for my creation?
• Or should we just gut it and give it a nice cremation?
• I understand to all my fans, who think their needs aren't part of my plans.
• But listen. I'm doing everything I can, to land a HQ Hamilton straight into their hands.
• Words of wisdom from a slaver, that's rich.
• You're probably selling that bootleg. No hitch.
• Don't try and lecture me 'bout morals, when you tried to go and make your own slaves, your bitch.
• And another thing all you Tumblrites
• Don't think that you're doing is anywhere near right.
• I'm trying to invest in a way that's best to get you all a copy of the play, not Highlights!
• Thomas Jefferson, tryna giving away my Hamilton.
• Shame on him!
• And anyone who is supporting him.
• You jokers won't face me, you gotta use a pseudonym.
• That argument's in worse shape than the national debt is in.
• Sitting there useless as two shits.
• Hey turn around bend over.
• I'll show you where my shoe fits!