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Showing posts with label Writer Emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer Emotions. Show all posts

6 Things I Tell Myself Once I’m Done Writing a Book


By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund
 
Recently I finished the first draft of a new book of a new series. Not counting the research, the book took me approximately eleven weeks to write.

Usually after I type out the last few words, I expel a deep breath of relief. And then I tell myself the following 6 things:

1. “Thank God for the editing process.” 

In fact, thank God for the MANY edits that the book will undergo in the months to come including my own self-editing as well as my publisher’s various levels of editing.

Even though I’ve written over 20 previous books, I wouldn’t ever think about skipping the editing process. I put every single one of my books through the most stringent and vigorous editing process. In fact, I’ve learned to be grateful for the feedback that can make my books better.

2. “Wow. I actually made it to the end.” 

As I was writing it, I felt the normal mid-book panic and asked myself questions like: Is the tension strong enough to keep readers' attention? Where is this story taking me? Will I be able to wrap up the plot believably? 

I admit. I second-guess myself and my writing ability with almost every book. So I feel satisfied at the end when somehow I manage to land the book at the destination without too much turbulence.

3. “Don’t get too attached to the words.” 

After all, they’re just words. Words. Sentences. Paragraphs. As much as I love my book, I will go back through the document and ruthlessly eliminate some of the prose that I labored and sweat over.

To make the process slightly less brutal, I’ll open up a new, blank document and save those eliminated sections there. Not that I’ve ever used any of the eliminated words again. But knowing that my hard work isn’t totally wiped out makes the process of cutting easier.

4. “Whew! It’s a relief to finish another book.” 

I love being in first draft writing mode. I love playing the roles of my characters and living out their stories.

But those 10-12 weeks of living in another world get a little intense. I push myself hard with daily word count goals, and I’m very strict about getting in my “words” for the day.

That means I sacrifice other things (like free time!) during the weeks I’m writing the first draft. While I’m emotionally and physically drained after I finish climbing Manuscript Everest, there’s also a sweet sense of accomplishment.

5. “I hope readers like it.”

I always write the books I love to read. I figure why write anything else?

However, various readers come into my books with differing expectations. I’ve long since realized that I can’t please everyone with every book. But I do hope that each book hits the sweet spot for the majority of my readers. And so at the end of every book, I sit back and ask myself what things about the story will or won’t please my readers.

6. “It’s time to put the baby to bed.” 

In other words, I need to stick my book in a virtual folder, step away, and say goodnight to it. I need to let it sit there untouched for a while (weeks if not a few months).

After time away, when I finally go back to it for my first round of self-editing, I’m not so in-love with it anymore and able to approach it more objectively. I’m able to see issues and flaws more clearly and also able to start the hard work of editing with more enthusiasm.

What about YOU? How do you feel after you finish writing a book?

When You Feel Like the Worst Writer in the World


By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

This past year I've spent a LOT of time editing. It seems that every time I turn around, one of my books needs some kind of edit. Earlier in the year, I spent close to 6 weeks doing macro-edits on my Luther and Katharina book which releases in October. In June I had line edits on another book. And finally just a few weeks ago I worked on macro-edits for my second YA book, A Daring Sacrifice.

Editing is never my favorite thing to do. For me it requires a different kind of energy than I use for first drafts. I have to be more focused and concentrate harder with fewer interruptions (which is hard to come by in my busy household). Editing also requires some brutality. I cut, delete, and rip the book apart. All the nit-picking is part of the process of making a story better.

But that negativity toward my stories eventually begins to wear on me mentally and emotionally, especially when I have so much editing for such long durations and in close succession. In fact I start to get depressed about my writing ability.

A host of doubts jump all over me and taunt me in their devilish sing-song voices: "What if readers don't like this story? What if it's not as interesting as your other books? What if you get bad reviews? What if, what if, what if . . . "

I've come to expect this kind of reaction whenever I'm in editing mode. But other writers may experience those low times during other stages of the writing journey–maybe after querying or reading reviews or attending a conference.

Whenever we go through our "I'm the worst writer in the world" stage, we should remind ourselves of several truths:

1. We can't expect perfection from ourselves. The truth is, we won't be able hit a home run every time we write a book. Yes, we want to do our very best to craft stories readers will like. But, we're not perfect. And there might be times when readers won't sing our praises quite as loudly.

2. The modern author faces an overabundance of pressure. While the growth of online review spots (like Goodreads) can help increase the exposure and shelf life of our books, it also makes readers' impressions of our stories readily available—for both the good and the bad. Readers/blog reviewers are turning into the new "critics." And so now we have many more critics to try to please than ever before, and we can't possibly please everyone. Which leads to the next point . . .

3. What doesn't resonate with some readers, might with others. A reader recently emailed me saying, "Jody, you are my favorite author. I have read all your books and can't wait until the next one comes out. However, the book I just read is not like the rest. It is boring and redundant. I have skipped over some paragraphs just to get through the book. What happened? I will watch for your next new book." Ouch! Even though the email stung just a bit, I realized that many other readers have raved about the book. For whatever reason, this book just didn't resonate with this particular reader. And that's okay.

4. We can always do better the next time. If one of our books doesn't do as well, we can push ourselves to grow, learn from our mistakes, and craft a better story with each book we write. As writers, the possibilities before us are endless. We just have to pick ourselves up and keep carrying on.

So, how about you? Have you ever felt like the worst writer in the world? How do you push through it?

What to Do When First-Chapter Fears Paralyze Us


 By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I recently started writing a new book (a historical that releases next fall). As I was writing the first chapter, I experienced an almost paralyzing fear.

It was a fear that raised its ugly serpent head and hissed in my ear:

"Can you really write this story?"

"What if you don't have what it takes?"

"Will you be able to convey all that you hope to?"

"What if readers don't like these characters or this story?"

The doubts and insecurities followed me relentlessly through those first chapters. Even though this is the twentieth full length novel that I've written. Even though I've tackled difficult historical time periods (some even more so). Even though I've handled equally important subject matter.

The honest truth is that no matter where we're at in our writing journeys, whether on the first or fiftieth book, we all face first-chapter fears. The key, however, is NOT to let those fears cause us to freeze up, close up, or give up.

I've now reached the one-third mark of this newest book. The story is unfolding and sweeping me along with it. I admit, from time-to-time that ugly serpent still raises its head and whispers insecurities in my ear. But overall, the fears are mostly behind me.

How can we push through fears and insecurities that arise as we write our first chapters? Here are a few of my strategies: 

1. Stick with the story even though you feel like giving up.  

Don't give yourself an out. Don't even consider for a moment that you won't write the book. In fact, give yourself a deadline and tell yourself that you will persevere no matter what, that you don't have a choice.

Even on my worst of days, I give myself daily word count goals. I force myself to keep working no matter how I feel. I base my writing on a conscious decision to show up with or without the desire to write. With or without inspiration. With or without fear. I write no matter what.


 2. Write anything to get something on the page. 

You don't have to know where you're going next. You don't need to have everything figured out. Just start putting words down. Say anything, even if it seems stupid, even if it may not particularly fit. Once we release the words, eventually our creativity comes out too. Spilling words on the page loosens creativity.

I experienced this in a recent scene I was writing. I didn't know where the scene was taking me. I wanted my hero and heroine to say goodbye to one another, but I didn't know how. So I simply started writing, whether it was clichéd or not, I put it down. And as I did so, the scene began to shape itself into something unique with a fun interaction. Write first. Creativity follows.


3. Always remember that your first attempt doesn't have to be perfect. 

Nothing is ever carved in stone in the first draft. You can always go back and tweak the opening. In fact, you may need to go back to rewrite the opening altogether. That's okay. Sometimes we have to write a crappy opening in order to get the story flowing. And once the story is flowing, we're then able to go back and re-create a better, more fitting opening.

During the self-editing stage of my last book, I ended up cutting 10k out of the book before I sent it to my publisher. Then during rewrites I cut and changed even more. It was much easier for me during the editing phase to stand back, to view the book objectively, and to chop what didn't work. If I keep that philosophy in mind while I'm in the first chapters of a new book, I'm better able to persevere when fear starts to paralyze me.

How about YOU? Have you ever been paralyzed by first chapter fears? What helps you persevere?

Encouragement for Writers Who Don't Know If They Should Keep Going


By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I had the recent privilege of doing some paid critiques at a writer's conference. Ahead of the conference, writers sent me twenty pages of their manuscripts which I then read and carefully critiqued.

As I met with each writer one-on-one at the conference, many of them voiced their concerns, saying things like, "I just don't know if I should keep going" or "Should I really be spending so much time on my writing?"

I only had fifteen minutes with each of the writers which I quickly realized wasn't enough time to encourage them the way I would have liked.

So today I thought I'd share everything that I didn't have time to say–a special encouragement for those who've written a book, but don't know if they should keep going . . .

1. Finishing a first book is a HUGE accomplishment. Anyone who does so should be proud of the feat. There are a lot of people who talk about writing a book, who have all kinds of great ideas, or who may even get a few chapters written . . . but for all the good intentions, they never complete the book.

I always applaud anyone who actually makes it to "the end" of the first book or two. It shows that we have the endurance and self-discipline to persevere.

My first books were my hardest to write. Half the time I didn't know what I was doing or where the story was going. I was filled with all kinds of self-doubts and didn't really know if I had what it took to be good.

But isn't that true of anything we just begin? For example when I first started running a year ago, I wanted to puke and die every single step of the run . . . even though I only went around the block (which is barely a mile!). I can't say that I run effortlessly now, but it sure is a LOT easier than when I started and I can go a lot further.

The same is true of writing. If we can write the first book or two (or three), our writing muscles and skills grow stronger. And while writing may never be totally effortless, it will get easier.

2. Don't get overwhelmed with well-intentioned feedback. I have to be honest, I was never brave enough to get feedback on my first few novels. I never let any eyes but my own ever see them. So I admire those writers who can take critiques on early manuscripts.

I would just caution against getting overwhelmed by all of the advice. I've seen too many writers who spin their wheels editing the same chapters (or same book) over and over and trying to perfect it. While there's nothing wrong with improving a manuscript, sometimes being in editing mode for too long can zap the joy out of writing.

It's best for "younger" writers to keep the writing hand moving and the creative part of the brain unfettered. If we apply what we're learning as we write the next book, we're bound to take greater strides forward than if we simply keep nitpicking an old manuscript. After completing several manuscripts we'll be able to look back on our first ones and see how far we've come.

3. Finally, keep the dream of publication alive. We can't let it die because we think it's too hard to get an agent or land a book deal, or because there are already too many books out there, or because of the uncertainty of the market.

The good news is that publishers and readers still love discovering new authors. There will always be a place for an author who has honed her writing craft and is able to tell a riveting story. But that means, however, that we can't rush the process, that we have to make the effort to actually hone our skills and learn what comprises a good story. Taking the time to "do writing" right still works best in the long run.

My Summary: Should you keep going? Do you have what it takes? If you love writing and if you're passionate about story-telling, then keep fanning the flame. Don't let the dreams of publication die. Maybe you won't find extreme riches and fame, but you'll find extreme satisfaction in a story well-told.

What about YOU? Do you ever struggle with knowing whether YOU should continue writing? What's helped you to keep going?

P.S. If you haven't yet downloaded my FREE e-novella, OUT OF THE STORM, I invite you to give it a try! Amazon, B&N, and CBD


How To Justify Spending Lots of Time Writing Before Publication


By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I was at a recent book signing doing a presentation. During the Q & A time, I was asked a really great question: Unpublished writers often feel guilty for spending time writing when they're not seeing a profit from their work. How can beginning writers justify spending lots of time writing when they're not yet published?

I only had to think back to my pre-publication days to remember the frustration I once felt trying to justify the hours I spent writing. Sometimes I would question myself and sometimes others would question what I was doing.

I would ask myself: Should I really put so much energy into my writing when I wasn't making a dime on it? I often wondered if what I was writing was good enough. Quite frankly, I wasn't really sure if I'd ever even get published (this was in the day before indie publishing came of age).

I persevered through the angst and have since learned that the guilt was completely unnecessary.

There are numerous reasons why unpublished writers shouldn't feel guilty for spending time on their writing:

1. Writers need to GET an education.  

Most other professions require years of college where students pay out thousands of dollars to get a degree, all without seeing a return or the guarantee of a job in their field. Sometimes students are even required to do internships without pay.

No one questions such training. In fact, most people see it as a necessary part of the process of becoming ready to handle the "real" job. For example, most people wouldn't want to be operated on a brain surgeon who hadn't gone through numerous years of rigorous training.

The same is true of writers. We have to spend years learning the trade. Sometimes we have to pay money out (for conferences, books, workshops, etc.) even though we're not seeing a return. Usually we have to write numerous books without monetary profit. Those years of learning are our internship, the hands-on-learning that we need to finally be ready for moving to the next stage of our career.

2. Writers need to GO after their passion. 

I believe that everyone is given a gift which is usually wrapped up in a combination of talent, passion, and personality. When we discover our gift (or perhaps gifts), we should use it, pursue it, and make the most of it.

Maybe we won't be able to earn a living using our gift. But that doesn't mean we should set it aside. Lots of people have "day jobs" to help pay the bills, but still pursue their passion on the side.

Using our gifts helps to improve our mental health because we're doing what we enjoy and were made to do. Using our gifts often helps make difference in the lives of those around us. When we get to the end of our lives we can look back and know that we not only touched other lives and made our world a better place, but that we also lived our life to the fullest and best of our ability.

3. Writers need to GAIN family support. 

Families are the places where we should be able to discover and test our gifts. We should be encouraging one another to use them and supporting one another in our endeavors.

All too often, however, families take one another for granted and fail to mutually support each other.

Mothers, especially, are in the habit of sacrificing so much every day for their children and families, that they often give up personal hobbies, exercise, and even using their gifts because they're so busy doing stuff for everyone else. Eventually those moms burn out. I've discovered that I can be a better mom when I'm taking care of myself and leaving time for the activities that are important to me.

If families get into the practice of helping each other carve out time for the things we love and enjoy doing, then we'll all thrive. It can't just be one person sacrificing or one person getting to do his hobby. Rather we need to be encouraging all members within our families to pursue their passions (including writing!).

How about YOU? Have you ever felt guilty for spending time on your writing?


It's Okay to Freak Out Once in a While

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Recently a dear writer friend, contacted me for some advice. She said: "Two months ago I got a two-book deal that has left me really stressed. I know it's an honor, but [the sale] is kind of terrifying. Just wondered if you ever experience anxiety of this kind . . . I've gotten to the point I'm not sleeping well, and honestly, I'm going to take a week off and just be."

She wanted to know if I ever freak out like that. And secondly she wanted to know how I work on two books at once, primarily how I write one book while juggling the edits of another.

Since I've always been very open on this blog about my publication experience and how I've felt, I thought I'd share my answer to my friend so that others who are experiencing the same thing will know they're definitely not alone!

First, do I ever freak out (majorly stress) when I get book deals?

Absolutely! I can completely relate to the stress. When I got my first 3-book contract about 4 years ago, I started to have insomnia and minor heart palpitations (like panic attacks). I was really worried about how everything would go, if I would be able to keep up with all the work, and especially how readers would perceive my books.

But now that I've been published and under contract for a while, I'm much more acclimated to being an author and all the responsibilities that go along with it. My writing muscles have never been stronger. I've learned my pace for writing books and know how many weeks it takes me to finish a first draft. I'm much more confident in tackling rewrites. And I've also learned where to prioritize with social media and how much time to give it so that it's not so overwhelming.

All that to say, it takes time to adjust to the "job" of being a full time author. Like any new job there's beginner's stress. But eventually you begin to feel at home in the role and life goes back to normal (or at least a new normal).

Second, how do I juggle working on two books at once? How do I write one and edit another?

The answer to this question is a little more complicated.

I'm either researching a book or I'm writing the first draft of one. My book deadlines are approximately seven months apart. So I don't have much wiggle room. And once I turn a book in to my publisher, I usually have about three sets of edits that I'll have to tackle before the book hits shelves. I don't have the luxury of setting aside my WIP every time I get a set of edits back on another book.

Therefore, I try to juggle writing and editing at the same time–as long as it's line-editing or copy-editing. Every day I break my writing workday into two parts. First I tackle my daily word count on my WIP. Then when I'm done with that, I write blog posts, interviews, or when I have edits I work on those.

However, when it comes to content edits (aka macro edits), I always take the time off from my WIP to focus on the rewriting (which I've learned takes me two to three weeks). The macro-edits are too time intensive for me to do "on the side" while continuing to work on a WIP. And they take precedence in the line of what's urgent.

Yes, the macro-edits interrupt the flow of my WIP. But once I'm done with my rewrites, I re-read the WIP (which is a good refresher anyway!), and I have no trouble picking back up the story where I left off.

One reason I can set aside my WIP during rewrites on another book is because I've given myself some leeway for my deadline. I try operate ahead of schedule with my first draft, rather than burning the midnight oil as a deadline approaches.

Obviously every author will approach the process differently and figure out what works best for them.

Summary: The reality is that the life of a published author is stressful. We have to juggle multiple projects. But the reassuring part is that, we eventually get into a rhythm that works for our unique situations. The stress level diminishes. And while we still may have occasional "freak-out" moments, they're fewer and farer between.

How about you? Have you experienced any stressful moments as a writer? How do YOU juggle multiple writing tasks without freaking out too much?

Writing Time: A Guilty Pleasure or a Necessity?


By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Summer is quickly arriving. And for most of us that means our nice neat schedules get turned upside down and shaken around. Whether it's having the kids home, one-hundred-and-one summer activities, the family vacation, or out-of-town company, we usually find ourselves scrambling to find writing time.

Not only are we chasing after that allusive time, but when we DO actually catch a free moment, we feel GUILTY, like we should be out playing in the sunshine with the kids, or heading to the beach, or walking the dog.

Yes, we writers are good at feeling guilty for "sneaking" in writing time. But is writing time a guilty pleasure or is it a necessity?

Of course, those writers who are under contract, who have advances, or who have a steady income from their books, might be able to more easily justify holing away in front of their laptops while the sun is beaming brilliantly and summer activities beckon.

And yet, I still find myself struggling with writer's guilt, even though I'm a wage-earning, work-from-home, published author. Whether we're published or not, we all experience guilt. I think it's inherent to working at home, no matter what the job. We're easily distracted by what goes on in our homes. And our families are quick to interrupt us.

And let's face it, for writers, it's even easier to feel that pressure. After all, we spend hours dreaming up stories, devising twisted plots, and writing about people who exist only in our imaginations. And the thing is, we actually love it. We thrive on it. We usually wish we had more time for it.

Should we feel guilty for loving what we do, for actually deriving pleasure in our jobs, especially when WORK is a dirty word for so many people? Or should we feel sorry for those who don't have that same privilege, for those whose work is drudgery, who aren't able to use their gifts and talents, or who are caught in a dead-end job for reasons they can't control?

Perhaps instead of feeling guilty, we can count it a blessing that we can get out of bed every day and do something we love so much.

And we can also accept the fact that writing (or using our talents) is a necessity. It's the way we're designed. As human beings, we're each uniquely wired, and we function best when we're doing the job we're wired to do. Our mental health and physical well-being flourish when we're doing what we were created to do.

All that to say, we can't let summer derail our writing efforts. It's not a guilty pleasure. It's a necessity (whether we're published or not). And here are just a few ways to alleviate writer's guilt:

1. Set blocks of work time. Be clear with your family when those times are. Post it on the refrig or on the calendar. Then everyone knows when you're busy and when you're not.

2. Plan scheduled time or days off. If the family knows when you're working AND also when you're free, then it's easier for them to respect your work time. They'll know that they get YOU later in the day or later in the week during that planned time.

3. Consider getting help. A couple summers ago, I hired a college-age young woman to come over a couple afternoons a week and watch my kids, drive them to activities, and take them swimming. Then I didn't feel so guilty that my kids were sitting at home on such nice days. They were still able to get out and enjoy summer activities.

4. Teach our family/kids that it's okay to be home. Yes, summer is a wonderful time to be doing camps and swim lessons and all that other good stuff. But we also have to remind ourselves that it's okay for our kids to play at home. We don't have to fill our lives with every activity available to mankind. In fact, some of the best creative play comes when kids are allowed the space and time to use their imaginations.

5. Take full advantage of our work time. When I get a block of concentrated writing time, I don't respond to emails. I don't write blog posts. I don't answer interviews. I don't do anything except work on my stories.

How about you? Do you ever feel writer's guilt? Is writing a guilty pleasure for you or a necessity?

Beware of This Sly Writer's Enemy


By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

As writers we face many enemies--perfectionism, writer's block, rejection, long waits, lack of time, criticism, and many other hardships.

But amidst all the obstacles we battle, there's one sly enemy that creeps in undetected. Often we don't realize we're fighting it until it's slithered in, wrapped around us, and begun to squeeze the life out of us.

That enemy is burnout.

Burnout can happen to the best of us. And it occurs in a variety of ways.

Perhaps we no longer find joy in the writing process. Maybe we don't have fresh ideas anymore. We may even feel like the act of juggling writing with all our other responsibilities is just too tiring.

Lately, a couple of friends have expressed burnout with blogging. They've indicated that they don't really know what to say, are tired of posting, and wish they could stop.

By the time we notice that burnout has us in its death grip, we've lost our energy and enthusiasm for all the things we once embraced and accomplished with gusto. Instead burnout leaves us drained, dry, and discouraged–often without the determination we need to stand strong and fight.

Left weak and vulnerable, burnout finally coils tighter until we have nothing left to give. And it's at that point, many writers give up altogether.

What do we do when we finally realize we're burned out, when we're at a point when we're tempted to give up (or perhaps have already fallen flat to the floor and lie comatose?)

Here are just a few things I've done over the years to alleviate or avoid burnout:

1. Take breaks from time to time. I just got back yesterday from a weeklong vacation out East. And even though it was a busy week full of hiking, swimming, shopping, and driving, it was still a break from the usual routine of my life. And after the time away, I'm ready to jump back into my to-do list with renewed energy.

2. Re-evaluate the work load. I make a point at least a couple times a year to look at everything on my plate and to decide what to keep and what to toss off. I have two main priorities during this season of my life—my family and my writing. If my outside commitments don't line up with my priorities, then they have to go.

3. Cut back on social media. Let's face it, social media can be a huge drain on a writer's time and energy. Last fall, I decided to cut back on my blogging from three times a week to two. One day may not seem significant, but it's freed up more time and energy that I can devote to other responsibilities. I can pour my heart into the two posts I write rather throwing out fluff for the sake of having more posts.

4. Chase after joy. Joy is fuel for our creativity. We have to consciously look for ways we can bring joy into our lives. Usually I find joy in the simple things of life, like drinking a fancy cup of coffee with scented candles on a rainy afternoon. Or reading an especially gripping book that brings me to tears. Or laughing deeply over something one of my children says or does.

5. Take a hiatus. If we reach rock bottom, the point where we must stop writing for the sake of our well-being or of others, that doesn't mean we have to give up our writing career forever. I took a break from writing after my twins were born. At that point, I'd been writing seriously for many years and had just started garnering interest from editors. But life got busy (to put it mildly!). And I didn't write a single word for seven whole years. The first book I wrote after my hiatus was The Preacher's Bride (which became a best seller).

My Summary: All writers battle burnout. The trick is to be aware that burnout is a very real enemy and to be on the lookout for symptoms that may indicate we're losing our joy and energy. If we notice that our life is slowly being squeezed from us, we have to make conscious steps to recapture our love of writing. Because if we don't love what we write, we can't expect anyone else to either.

What about you? Have you ever faced burnout? What helps you through the rough times? What keeps you from giving up when you hit rock bottom?

What To Do When You Feel Like a Lousy Writer

Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst writer in the world.

Yes, I recently had a mini identity crisis. I’ve realized that I usually have that crisis right about the time I read Galleys (the last set of edits I get to see before a book goes to print). 

And last week I was not only reading my Galleys for Unending Devotion (releasing Sept. 1), but I was also finishing up rewrites on A Noble Groom (releasing next spring). And . . . gearing myself up to start self-editing the first draft of a book I finished writing in May.

My internal editor was out in a BIG way. A VERY BIG way. 

Even though I’d already read and edited Unending Devotion numerous times, I was critical. Of Every. Single. Word. As I scrutinized the manuscript (in hard copy format), a heavy depression began to settle over me and push me down, until I was practically slumped on my desk with the weight of my melancholy.

All I could think was that my writing was mediocre at best, that I’d missed so many adverbs, that I’d over-described too many things, and that the story just wasn’t the way I’d wanted it. 

Most of all, I was thinking of my readers and how I didn’t want to disappoint them. I hear frequently from readers telling me they’re excited for my next release, and that they’re waiting anxiously to read another of my books. 

I did’t want to let them down with my story OR my writing. I didn’t want to give them something subpar. So I’d worked really hard on editing Unending Devotion.

But still . . . even after all the work, the fears crept in and taunted me. My insecurities rose up to whisper in my ear, reminding me of how much I still need to learn and grow.

The truth is I still have a long way to go in becoming a good novelist. I haven’t mastered the craft yet. I haven’t grasped everything there is to know about fiction-writing. And I’m not a perfect story-teller.

Most of us aren’t born with exemplary writing talent that pushes us to fame and fortune. Instead, the majority of us have to do the hard work of learning how to write. We have to study fiction techniques. We have to actively challenge ourselves to practice new things and develop better writing habits. 

I’m finding that even after several published books the need for learning doesn’t stop. I must continually refresh my skills, review basic fiction principles, and push myself to try new things that will make me better. 

In fact, during the past week, I pulled out two of my favorite editing books to re-read: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne & Dave King and The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman.

So am I really the worst writer in the world? And are my Galleys worthless? 

Probably not. In fact, I’ve been told Unending Devotion is a riveting story. One early reader told me it’s her favorite book of mine yet. My internal editor is likely being a little too hard on me. It can be a discouraging taskmaster at times.

What I’m learning is that as much as I like when things are going well, the good times don’t spur me to the high level of hard work the way discouragement does. In fact, when we’re feeling good about ourselves, we can become complacent and even start thinking we’ve arrived.

But when we’re feeling low, like we won’t amount to anything, we can’t let the discouragement derail us completely. Instead, we should let it humble us and push us toward improving our skills. Let it challenge us to do even better and work even harder.

That’s what I’ll be doing over the next several weeks—I’ll be jumping back into a personal fiction-writing refresher course so that I can continually be striving to write stories that readers will thoroughly enjoy.

What about you? Have you read a fiction-technique book lately that you’ve found helpful? I encourage you to take the challenge with me to read at least one fiction how-to book over the summer! Tell us in the comments which book you’d like to read. (And if you need some further suggestions, check out my Pinterest Board for Writing Books I’ve found especially helpful.)

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Everyone Gets Jealous, Even Published Authors

Yes, I’m ashamed to admit. I get jealous of other authors. It’s ridiculous really. I couldn’t ask for a better start to my writing career. I’ve accomplished what every author hopes. I’ve earned back my advance and then some. I’ve had plenty of positive reviews on Amazon. I’ve won awards and made the CBA bestseller list. I’ve pleased my publisher enough for them to offer me another contract.

What more could I want? Especially when I’m already blessed with so much?

Apparently that ugly jealousy monster inside me isn’t easy to appease. The monster wants more, especially when it looks around and sees what others have. It stares with its green eyes and whispers, “Look what she has. Don’t you wish you had that too?”

The fact is, everyone gets jealous. I know it’s easy to think unpublished writers are the only ones with the envious eyes. I remember the days of being jealous of writers with agents, book contracts, and readers. At that stage it’s hard not to look ahead at those who are already published and to wish you could trade places.

But strangely, the jealousy doesn’t end at publication, even when you’re in a position such as mine. I was reminded of this last week when I saw another writer announce some fantastic and exciting news. And as thrilled as I was for this writer friend, I was almost literally sick with the feeling of wishing I could have her level of success.

Yes, the jealousy monster creeps after us at every stage of publication.

Before publication we get jealous of these kinds of things:

*Writers who get an agent before us.
*Writers who can easily make friends with industry professionals.
*Writers who have more followers on social media.
*Writers who place higher in a contest.
*Those who seem more popular.
*Those who can write books faster than us.

After publication we get jealous of these kinds of things:

*Writers whose sales rankings are better than ours.
*Writers who consistently make the bestseller list.
*Writers with better book contracts than ours.
*Writers whose books final in contests when ours doesn’t.
*Writers who get more attention from their agent.
*Writers whose books are optioned for movies.
*Big seller authors who get special treatment from the publisher.

So, last week when I was sick with jealousy, I had to stop myself, take a deep breath, and remind myself of a few simple things:

1. Sometimes the internet is hazardous to our mental health. The truth is, because we’re online and involved in the writing community, we end up seeing what everyone is doing. We hear all the good news and very little of the bad.

Therefore, it’s easy to be bombarded by all of the “congrats” and “hurrahs” and start to wonder why we’re missing out. I find that sometimes I need to step back, turn off the internet for a while, and remember that what I see on twitter isn’t necessarily the whole picture.

2. Remember those authors who are achieving success have worked really, really hard to get where they’re at. I only have to stop and think about how many years I studied writing, how many books I've written, and how long I struggled before I reached my current position. While those achieving success might make it look like it happened overnight, it usually involved years of hard work.

3. Direct the frustration into getting even better at our writing. The great thing about the writing industry is that it’s wide open. Anyone who has the will to work at improving and the desire to succeed has a chance at making it. So whenever I see someone getting the kind of success that I’d like, I challenge myself to work all the harder.

4. Don’t blame agents and editors for their inability to coddle us. Whether before publication or after, the nature of the modern publishing industry is that agents and editors don’t have the time to hold the hands of all the authors clamoring for attention. They have to prioritize, and of course, they’re going to give their best time and energy toward the bread-and-butter authors, the brand names, the bigger authors.

Recently, I experienced a twinge of jealousy when I saw that my publisher had put together a big book tour for their most popular, best-selling author Beverly Lewis. Yes, I couldn't keep from wishing that someday I'd warrant that kind of attention. But I had to remind myself that Beverly Lewis has been writing for years and has worked hard to become a household name. If not for her financial success, my publisher wouldn’t be able to take as many risks on young authors like me.

So, now that I've admitted to feeling jealous of other authors, please tell me I'm not alone! What makes you jealous? And how do you handle it?

Clinging to Hope When Insecurities Taunt Us

Recently I had one of those really bad days—when everything that could go wrong did (or at least seemed to).

It started when I burned the rolls I was making for Easter. After mixing the dough and letting it rise and all that good stuff, I placed the rolls in the oven for 15 minutes, set the timer, and went upstairs to write.

When the timer went off, I rushed down, covered the pan with foil (so that the tops wouldn’t burn), and then put the rolls back in to bake a little longer.

I ran upstairs and started writing again. 45 minutes later, I sat up, sniffed, and caught the whiff of baking rolls.

“Smells delicious,” was my first thought.

Then my second thought (after a long confused moment) was, “Shoot! The rolls are still in the oven!”

I’d forgotten to set the timer for the second 15-minute-round of baking. They'd over-baked by at least 30 minutes.

I flew downstairs to the oven, took one look at the crusty, dark brown lumps, and let out a cry of despair. All I could do was toss them on the counter, stare at them, and fight back tears.

All that hard work for nothing. (Or so I thought. As it turns out, my kids don’t really mind eating crunchy, rock-hard rolls. Whew!)

At the time, I’d just finished reading through the Galleys for Unending Devotion (releasing Sept. 1). The Galleys are the last edits an author can make on a book, taking place after the book has had both a substantive edit (for clarity, transitions, length, etc.) and a copy edit (for grammar, punctuation, timeline, etc.).

I’ve always had a hard time reading the Galleys of my books. By the time this stage comes, I’ve lost all love for the book particularly because I’ve worked on it so much already. And I’ve also given myself plenty of distance from the book so that I can now view it with a critical eye. In fact, my eye has grown overly critical, and as I read the Galleys, I end up saying these kinds of things:

“Everything sounds so stilted.”

“I’m so repetitious. I can’t believe how many times I repeated the word stepped. What was wrong with me?” (Seems I have several pet words that I repeat in every book!)

“This is so slow-moving. It’s boring. And I can’t stand it.”

While combing through my Galleys, my anxiety keeps rising and winding tighter, until I’m sure I’m the worst writer that ever lived.

Unfortunately, the wishy-washy emotions that resulted from the burned rolls and my Galleys joined forces, so that when I returned to my desk to work on my WIP, all the insecurities sat down with me and began to taunt me.

At that particular point, I was having trouble finding a specific research book that I needed. And my online searches had turned up mostly empty as well. I started to feel like a lousy researcher, unable to get the accurate details I needed to add richness to my story.

As I glared at the screen of my laptop at the half-filled page, all I could think was that now my WIP was worthless too. Compared to those other historical writers out there who are such experts in their time periods, I was a lousy failure.

Suddenly I couldn’t see anything good about any of my writing. I laid my head down and wondered why I’d ever thought I could write in the first place.

I share all of my insecurities for a couple of reasons.

One, I want to show that nobody always has it all together all the time. Insecurities happen no matter where we’re at in our publication journeys. We all ride the waves of doubt.

Two, I want to encourage us not to let the waves of insecurities drown us. When we feel like we’re sinking, we need to keep paddling forward anyway. The difference between those who make it and those who don’t is the ability to persevere. Some give up too soon. Those who keep writing and growing are bound to get where they want to go eventually.

I try to cling to hope and remember these things:

Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do. ~H Jackson Brown Jr.

Never, never, never give up. ~Winston Churchill

Believe you can, and you’re halfway there. ~Theodore Roosevelt

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. ~Thomas Jefferson

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two of the best cures for anything. ~Irish Proverb

I’m collecting a board of inspiring pins over on Pinterest that I can look at when those insecurities come. I invite you to head over and read some of the sayings whenever you need encouragement too.

So what about you? Have you had a day (or moment) recently where you felt insecure about your writing and thought about giving up? What helps you keep going when you’re tempted to throw in the towel?

Some Things Are Out of Our Control


As I look ahead to the coming months, I’m excited at the numbers of writing friends who will be publishing their books for the first time. In fact, in the next six months or so, I have four writer friends debuting with books I’ve endorsed (or am in the process of reading for endorsement purposes).

As I watch many of these friends embark on the debut publication experience, I’m glimpsing a wide spectrum of emotions from heavenly elation to paralyzing fear and everything in between. Watching my friends is bringing back all those similar feelings I experienced at my debut.

We try to get everything just right so we can have the best possible success. We want to have the perfect launch party, an effective blog tour, the most interviews, and the right amount of giveaways. We increase our web presence, and we do all we can possibly think of.

And that’s only natural.

But in the midst of all the busyness, our emotions ping-pong back and forth. One day we’re sure we’re doing everything we can. And the next day we worry that we aren’t doing enough.

Anytime we embark on something new whether we’re querying for the first time or entering a contest or going to a writer’s conference, we go through the gamut of emotions: excitement to fear, confidence to doubt, enthusiasm to weariness. And worry. We end up worrying a lot.

When I look in hindsight on my debut and everything else I’ve done, I’m not sure that I’d do anything differently . . . except for perhaps worry less.

We should be as diligent as possible in marketing and promoting our books or getting them ready for contests or for querying. Do all we can. Put forth one hundred percent effort to help our books stand out.

But . . . even though I work really, really hard to do everything “right,” there are still authors who don’t tweet or blog or have a lot of online connections, and for whatever reason they rise faster and shine brighter.

When striving for success in the publishing industry, I’m learning there’s only so much we can humanly do, that ultimately the rest is out of our hands. Whether we’re seeking an agent, book contract, or aiming for a best seller, there are some factors we can’t control. All the worrying in the world won’t change those factors.

I was reminded of this recently when I read an article that described step-by-step how The Hunger Games became a blockbuster hit. I was fascinated how strategic Scholastic was with their marketing.

The marketing department did numerous things to start the buzz about the book many months in advance of release. So much went on behind the scenes to get the early copies of the books into the right hands at the right times.

Sales reps were particularly strategic with their attempts to get the ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) into the hands of prominent reviewers also called “Big Mouths,” which is children’s publishing lingo for booksellers who have exceptional influence with co-workers and peers. And then the Big Mouths had to get excited and spread the chatter to their circles.

What struck me was how many factors were involved in making the book successful. Many, many, many. Too many factors for most of us to ever dream about. Too many factors that are completely out of our control.

The article reiterated to me that I personally can only do so much.

I need to be faithful with the little that I’m given. I need to work diligently with my talents. I need to continue learning and doing whatever is within my scope of possibility.

But then . . .

I need to remember not to worry about the rest, that it will happen in its time . . . if it’s meant too. No amount of fretting will make anything happen faster. Checking Amazon rankings or reviews won’t make them improve. And obsessing over what more I can do to turn my books into blockbusters won’t help.

All we can do is put our heart into writing the best stories possible and do everything we can to help market them. Then we have to step back, stop worrying, and remember to enjoy the journey.

Are you doing all that you can and being faithful to use your talents wisely? But do you also find yourself worrying about things that are out of your control or wishing for more than you have? Do you need to stop worrying so much and relax a little more?

The Inevitable Identity Crisis That Happens After Publication

I wasn’t going to write this post. But after talking with numerous published authors over the past year and reading Elana Johnson’s post last week about her struggle after publication, I decided I needed to open up the topic.

Most authors don’t talk publicly about the after-publication crisis that happens. We put on our happy public persona and just keep going. But in reality, most of us experience an identity crisis at some point after publication where we question everything and wonder what in the world we’re doing. I know have. On more than one occasion.

Writerly crises are triggered by any number of things: a bad review, a low royalty check (or NO royalty check), an unexpected or difficult rewrite, low sales figures, not getting reader emails, dismal Amazon rankings, long dry spells without hearing from your agent or editor, bewildering advice, etc., etc., etc.

The trigger unleashes a gush of emotions and questions. We start asking ourselves things like: Why do I strive so hard? Why am I am putting in two hundred percent when there’s often so little to show for it? Is it really worth the pain, the sweat, the tears, and the uncertainty?

The questions beat against us.

But we can’t complain. At least not publicly.

First, if we publicly complain about any aspect of our publication process, we might inadvertently place publishers or other industry professionals in a negative light—and we don’t want to jeopardize our working relationships with anyone.

And second, if authors publicly complain, we sound ungrateful for being published. We know there are many other writers who would gladly trade places with us—problems and all. We think, “What right do I have to complain? I’m published. My dream came true. I shouldn’t be ungrateful.”

Thus, we keep shoving our complaints deep inside.

Until we reach the breaking point—when the pressure of everything builds up and explodes.

Before publication, most of us have dreams of what we think being a published author will be like. And the more we rub shoulders with other writers and fan the flame for publication, the larger our dreams become, until we’ve made being a published author into this HUGE, BIG deal—perhaps bigger than it really is.

Isn’t it that way with most things out of our reach? We long for something. But the more it’s denied us, the more intensely we want it. And we start to think it will be SO fabulous when we finally get it.

Our expectations grow with our longing, until eventually, our expectations are slightly (or maybe greatly) out of proportion with reality.

Now I’m not saying that being a published author isn’t wonderful. It is. I’m thrilled and grateful to have two books on the shelf and a couple more heading down the publication pipeline. I adore hearing from readers. And I love being a part of the publishing industry.

But I’ve also realized that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the published author side. There’s still an incredible amount of hard work, rejection, uncertainty, and waiting. There’s very little glitz and glamor. The hoopla never lasts very long. And I’m still just an ordinary person.

So, what have I learned through all my writing crises?

• An identity crisis or reality check is fairly normal for most writers, especially after the first book or two. We can’t help but question who we are and what we’re doing.

• We need a couple of closer writer friends with whom we can be completely honest, who will listen and not condemn us when we face uncertainties.

• We need to keep our expectations grounded. It’s hard to put aside those huge dreams we have of published author life. But the more realistically we go into publication, the better.

• Use those crises for evaluation. I let my difficult times push me to evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and what I might need to do differently.

• When things get rough, we can’t have the “if only . . .” mindset. “If only I’d self-published, I’d be making more money.” Or “If only I’d traditionally published, things would be so much easier.” We may think having a different publisher, editor, agent, etc. will cure our insecurities. As I said above, the grass won’t necessarily be greener on the other side. I rub shoulders with enough authors in various publishing scenarios to know everyone has their share of problems.

• Realize that if you’re expecting instant fame and fortune, a writing career may not be for you. Instead, be prepared for a slow, steady upward climb.

So there you have it. If you’re a published author, have you experienced an identity crisis at some point? And if you’re not published yet, are you keeping your expectations realistic enough about life after publication?

A Writer’s Number One Enemy

Who is a writer’s worst enemy?

In the writing industry we often make agents or traditional publishers out to be the “bad guys” and brand them as narrow-minded, unwilling to take a chance, picky, slow, unable to keep up with the changing times, etc.

But are they really the source of a writer’s angst? With the ease of e-publishing, a writer can bypass agents and editors altogether if they’re frustrated. No longer are agents and editors necessary for everyone seeking publication.

Sometimes we point the finger at the busyness of our lives as our number one enemy. We lament, that if only we had more time to write, we’d finally complete our book, or we’d get around to the manuscript that needs editing.

But we all know that we can make time for the things that are important to us. If we really want to write, if we’re passionate enough about it, we’ll somehow squeeze in the time somewhere. Right?

So what really is a writer’s number one enemy?

I believe WE are our own worst enemies. Yes, I am my worst enemy. And you are yours.

In a recent post, Encouragement for Aspiring Authors, numerous writers mentioned just how much they struggle with their own discouraging thoughts. Here are a few comments:

“I discourage myself all on my own . . . me, myself, and I can really do a number on my ego when it comes to my writing.”

“No one else but myself has been a discouraging voice. I have been my own worst enemy, and I need to squelch all the negative self-talk about never 'amounting to anything, so why waste my time' has just got to stop.”

“I've been wondering after reading the writing blogs lately if I should even try to write at all anymore.”

When I thought about WHO or WHAT discourages me the most, I realized (like these commenters) that I am my own biggest discourager. I send myself negative messages all too frequently. Even as an award-winning author I say things like, “What’s wrong with me that my sales aren’t higher” or “With so many other authors out there, who am I?”

The messages we send ourselves can have a paralyzing effect. We can discourage ourselves so much that we reach a point where we don’t want to keep going. Maybe we feel like giving up our writing career altogether. Or maybe the negative messages get in the way every time we sit down to write so that the story is stuck and the words won’t flow.

How do we battle our own discouragement and keep it from defeating us? I don’t have the perfect answer, but here are some things that keep me going:

I surround myself with people who believe in me, who are there to encourage me when I’m especially down, who remind me of the positives in my writing and in my career.

I write every day, no matter what my mood, even if I’m absolutely down in the dumps. Even when I feel like I’m writing the worst crap the world has ever seen, I get words on the page—every day without fail.

I make sure that I’m constantly learning new things. I pick up a new writing craft book or re-read an old one. There’s something about the process of learning that gives us fresh excitement and renewed confidence that we’re moving forward.

I go back to the reason why I’m writing—because ultimately I love telling stories. I love stringing words together. And I love being able to encourage others through my writing.

What about you? What messages have you been sending yourself lately? Are you letting the discouragement beat you down too much? How do you fight against your own negativity?

How to Kiss Writing Jitters Goodbye

My third book is releasing next fall 2012. My publisher met last week to discuss the title for the book. Surprisingly, they didn’t like my title idea this time. (Since they’d gone with my first choices for The Preacher’s Bride and The Doctor’s Lady, I’d assumed I was getting the knack for picking titles!)

But the title I chose for book 3 apparently didn’t fit my brand and my penchant for action, adventure, and romance. Thankfully, my publisher is wise enough to recognize the disparity between what I’d suggested and what actually lies between the pages of my book.

Anyway, my third book is in the process of getting its title, cover development, and in-house editing. As you may remember, I recently got my rewrites (and had a hard time processing them!). But as it turned out, I ended up making almost every suggested change my editors requested.

When I sent the revised manuscript back to them, I did so with a bit of trepidation. I couldn’t help thinking, “Boy, this is going to need more work. I hope they find additional issues for me to change so that I can improve it even more.”

I realize what’s happening. I’m in the process of falling out of love with my book. With distance and each additional edit, I grow more objective. I see the manuscript more critically. In fact, I even begin to wonder why I ever wrote the story in the first place.

Regardless of how I feel about it, the book is now headed down the publication pipeline and will be on shelves in less than a year. And even though it’s my third book, I’m still nervous! It’s especially hard when I get reports from readers who tell me they really enjoyed The Doctor's Lady and The Preacher's Bride because they’re based on true women from history. I can’t help thinking, “Oh no! My next two books aren’t inspired by real people. What if readers don’t like them as well?”

Twitter friend, Robyn Leatherman, is having her book debut in a few short months, and recently she said this in an email, “I have a feeling I'm getting those nervous butterflies of what-if-nobody-likes-my-work going on here. How do you cope with those jitters?”

No matter where we’re at in the publication process—whether beginner, debut, or seasoned—I’m realizing that we can suffer an attack of jitters any time or place.

So, how do we kiss our jitters good-bye?

Here’s what I’m doing to combat my recent case of nerves: I tell myself that I’m doing the best possible job that I can. I found a story that I wanted to tell. Then I worked incredibly hard to brainstorm and craft it into a book that I hope readers will enjoy. And I labored diligently to implement all of the various writing skills that I’ve been learning.

Now I’m putting the manuscript under the editing chisel. I edited myself, gave it to my critique partner, and currently my in-house editors are helping me shave off and add even more.

In other words, I’ve given the book THE best effort that I can (for where I’m at in my writing career). I haven’t gotten lazy because it’s my third book. And I haven’t started to take my readership for granted.

No, I’ve poured out my very heart into every page. If readers don’t like it as well as my first two books, it won’t be because I haven’t tried.

And that’s all we can do, dear friends—keep on working on our stories as hard as we can, keep on learning and growing in our writing skills, and keep on putting them under objective scrutiny. If we do that, then we can stand tall and proud of what we’ve done no matter the outcome.

Have you faced any jitters lately? How do you kiss your jitters good-bye?

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Here's where I'm at this week in my blog tour!

Monday 10/17: I'm visiting with Jane Steen on her blog and sharing more about my writing journey. (And giving away The Doctor's Lady!)

When You Feel Like a Nobody

I recently attended a national fiction writers conference in St. Louis. I love writer’s conferences. Nothing beats talking about writing for three days straight with other people who are as berserk about writing as you are.

Let’s face it, most of the time the normal people around us just don’t get our passion. And as much as we love them, we also need to rub shoulders with other writing geeks who get it, who understand how hard the journey is, whose eyes don’t glaze over when we start talking about our books.

Sarah Forgrave, Jennifer Hale, Heather Sunseri, ME, Eileen Watson, Katie Ganshert

If you have the chance to attend a writer’s conference at some point, I highly recommend it. They not only fill the emotional writer tank, but they provide countless opportunities for networking, meeting agents/editors, and becoming more familiar with the industry.

However, one thing I noticed this year while at the conference is that amidst so many talented writers it’s very easy to get lost in the crowd, to feel like a nobody, and to start comparing. Yes. It’s easy to feel insignificant in a large group like that, even for an author like me who has a couple of published books under her belt.

Of course I had to think through the whole conference experience. Here are a few things I came away from the conference realizing:

There will always be people who won’t know us or even care about us.

When I went to my first writer’s conference as a newly agented and contracted author, I expected to be an unknown name. But this year, even with a large social media presence and two published books, I still was relatively unknown among the hundreds of other authors. Plenty of people didn’t know the slightest thing about me, my books, or my blog.

And that’s true everywhere I go in real life too. I don’t have the paparazzi camped in my front lawn. Hoards of fans don’t follow me around town swooning over me. Quite honestly, most people I meet on a daily basis don’t even know I’m a writer unless I tell them.

What does the obscurity teach us? We can’t be in this business for the fame that it brings, because it brings very little recognition for the average author. Maybe boatloads of people won’t care about us, but that should make us all the more motivated to care about those whose paths intersect ours.

There will always be others ahead of us in the publishing journey.

As I mentioned, I went into this year’s conference with two published books. I couldn’t ask for more. I’m living the dream. I have a third book releasing next year and recently signed a contract for another three book deal with Bethany House Publisher.

But as I began to listen to the accolades of other writers, the numbers of books they’d published, the multiple awards, the numerous years they’d been writing, I started to feel pretty young and inexperienced.

What does the inexperience teach us? We will always have a lot to learn. We can’t ever think we’ve arrived. We need to remember those authors ahead of us have worked really, really hard to get to where they’re at. They didn’t magically bypass all the years of labor and writing to accomplish what they did. If we hope to reach a point of success, then we have to put in the time too.

There will always be newer writers coming along behind us.

Unfortunately, I met some experienced authors at the conference around whom I felt like a speck of dust. Maybe they were too busy, too disinterested, too caught up in their own importance to have the time for younger authors like me. Oh sure, a conference is a busy time for authors, the one time a year we get to hang out with our closer writing friends. The conference is crowded, it’s hard to visit with everyone, and time is limited.

And yet I was reminded that I can't forget newer writers and young authors are important too. Once we’re published, it’s all too easy to fall into a trap of pride and think we’re “all that.” Sometimes we can turn up our noses at others, even when we don’t mean to.

What does the tendency toward pride teach us? We can’t forget we were once new, that we were the low person on the totem pole, that not long ago we felt scared and insignificant too. If we remember where we came from, then we’ll be able to reach a hand back with genuine kindness and concern for those who follow.

What about you? Amidst all of the talented writers out there, have you ever felt like you’re getting lost in the crowd? Have you felt like a nobody? What is your advice for those further ahead of you?

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BLOG TOUR STOPS AND BOOK GIVEAWAYS!!!

Monday 10/3:
I'm on Joan Swan's blog telling who has influenced my writing the most. AND Joan is giving away gorgeous custom made bookmarks!

Monday 10/3:
Beth Vogt is hosting me over at The MBT Ponderers blog and asked me to share what I'm currently pondering!

Monday & Tuesday 10/3-10/4:
I'm visiting Making Home Work blog and sharing more about how I juggle working from home and being a mom.

The Emotional Roller Coaster Ride of a Book Release

For the past couple of months I’ve been on the roller coaster ride known as a “Book Launch” with my second published book, The Doctor’s Lady.

Recently blogging friend Caroline Starr Rose asked me if I’d share my experience with my book release. Caroline’s first book, May B, a middle grade historical novel, releases in January of 2012. She’ll soon jump on the “Book Launch” roller coaster and join the wild ride.

Of course, each author’s experience on the “Book Launch” roller coaster will vary widely. Some of us may throw our hands up in the air, scream with glee, and ride with abandon. Others of us may end up puking our guts out and screaming in frustration.

Here's a break down of what the release experience has been like for me with both of my books. (But remember, this is my experience and yours may look very different!)

Several months before the release:

About three months before launch date, I begin to plot my promotion. I strategically plan events, giveaways, and special posts. I brainstorm on my own as well as with my publisher’s marketing department,  and I begin to narrow down what I’d like to do (i.e. blog tour, book trailer, etc.).

This is usually an easy-going time. The ride is just beginning, and it’s a slow uphill climb. No major stress yet.

One month before the release:

Four weeks before the release date, the ride starts to pick up speed. I get busier as I implement some of the things I’ve been planning. For The Doctor’s Lady, I had a big book trailer kickoff. Then I started doing weekly trivia questions accompanied by book giveaways. I put a countdown widget into my sidebar. And I hoped to generate some excitement about the book.

In the process of getting others excited, of course I begin to get excited! My expectations are high, and I’m hit with the reality that “Wow, I have a book releasing!” and “This is a dream come true!”

Two weeks before the release:

A couple of weeks before release, readers begin to get their hands on the book. Early reviewers and influencers send me tweets or messages that their copies have arrived.

That’s the first stressful dip in the roller coaster. I can’t help worrying what people will think. For The Doctor’s Lady I had an especially migraine-inducing weekend wondering if readers would like the book as well as my first. Worries and doubts attack me. What if I bombed it? What if someone gives me a poor review right away?

One week before the release:

Friends and supporters begin to report back to me their thoughts on the book, and I pass their tests. At least so they say. Of course, I tell myself that none of them are going to be completely honest with me since they don’t want to hurt my feelings with any parts of the story they didn’t like. Nevertheless, I gobble up the praise like it’s rich chocolate.

Once again, I’m climbing back up. And I’m gearing up for more promotional work.

Release day:

Even though some authors say release day is anti-climatic, I really try to make it a special occasion and am still optimistic. This year a fellow blogger Jaime Wright held the big kick-off for release day and the start of my blog tour. And then the following day I had a party post celebrating the release.

I was nervous that people wouldn't care as much about my second book's release, hoped people would join the parties, and was relieved and grateful when the parties didn't flop!

One week after release day:

It’s at this time, that most authors are beginning to get a true picture of how their book is being received by readers. Often we're checking our Amazon reviews and rankings, and we’ll be able to get an overall pattern of whether readers are enjoying it or not. This can be a letdown if readers don’t like the book as well as we’d hoped. Maybe we get some less-than-stellar reviews. Maybe there's a lot less attention or fanfare than we expected. Maybe we even face silence, almost as if no one really cares.

Fortunately for me, it’s been a positive time. I usually begin to get emails, tweets, and facebook comments from genre readers letting me know they’ve liked my book. Whew! (Thank you everyone!)

Two weeks to one month after the release:

The hard work of promoting begins to take its toll. I’ve found that it’s difficult to keep up with all of the communication and administrative details that go in to the promotion (i.e. sending out giveaway books, updating my website, finishing interviews, etc.).

Even though it’s a busy and stressful time, the weeks following my book’s release have continued to be a time of connecting with readers who enjoy my books which is one of my favorite parts about the process.

Several months after the release:

One of the hardest things is not knowing how well your book is selling. Sure I can ask my publisher for statistics. But those early numbers are never completely accurate (due to returns). So for several months after the release, no one really knows for certain how well the book is going to sell.

When I finally did ask my publisher how sales were going on my first book, I was a bit disappointed that it hadn’t hit the million mark. Okay, so not really. But I did have my expectations too high. And while my book sold well for a debut author, I realized I still have room to grow.

So that’s been my roller coaster experience!

What about you? For published authors, what about your “Book Launch” ride was different from mine? And for pre-published, what are you least looking forward to about the book launch roller coaster?

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Make sure you check out these blog tour stops. Book GIVEAWAYS galore!

Monday 9/26: I'm guest posting on Preslaysa Williams blog: 8 Tips for Organizing Writing Time.

Monday 9/26: If you'd like to know how I'd respond to finding a purple polka-dotted monster in my kitchen one morning, then head over to the Book Loft!

Tuesday 9/27: I'm visiting with Dawn Alexander on her blog.

Tuesday 9/27: I'll be chatting with Cyndi Tefft on her blog and sharing where I'd buy land if I could!

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Getting Jitters While Waiting For Feedback on Our Books

I had a migraine early last week. Often my migraines are a direct result of a build-up of stress. But since I didn’t have anything major going on, I had to stop for a minute and try to figure out what had stressed me out.

It didn’t take me long to realize I’d been plagued with second book jitters. I’d started getting reports that people were picking up copies of The Doctor’s Lady. Amazon had shipped pre-orders and others were starting to find the book on shelves. Even though it doesn’t officially release until this Thursday, September 1st, the book has already begun to make its way into reader hands.

As I learned that more and more people were reading the book, the stress and worries started to escalate. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Will they like this new book?” and “How will they like it in comparison with my first?”

I chewed my fingernails to nubs. I paced the floor. I tossed and turned in my sleep. I couldn’t eat.

Okay, so maybe not really! But, as I waited for the first reports of what people thought of the book, I was scared. During that silent interval (when people were reading), I decided that one of the things I like the LEAST about being an author is waiting for the initial reports on a new release.

We all have to wait for the verdict on our books at some point or another. Maybe we’re waiting for our critique partner or a contest judge to read our manuscript. Perhaps we’re waiting on an agent or an editor or a committee. Once we get past all of those initial tests on our books, then we face the ultimate test—the reader.

That waiting is stressful, isn’t it?

We spend weeks and weeks writing the book, analyzing the plot, and developing characters. We put so much of ourselves into every page—often into nearly every word. After pouring out incredible amounts time and effort and love into a story, we long for affirmation and positive feedback that what we’ve written resonates with readers. The affirmation validates us, our skills, and all of the work we’ve put into the book.

No matter how much we try to tell ourselves that we don’t care what others think, that we’re writing to please ourselves, or for a bigger purpose, the bottom line is that we want happy readers. It’s a natural reaction to hold our breath (or in my case get a migraine!) as we wait to find out if readers will indeed be happy.

Fortunately, the initial responses to The Doctor’s Lady have been positive. Kate Burnett (who works for Christianbook.com) read the book last weekend and said this on Twitter: “I finished @JodyHedlund's new book The Doctor's Lady in the wee hours of the morning, last night. Loved it! Thanks for a great story, Jody!” Holly Weiss (a talented book reviewer) wrote up her Amazon review and gave it 5 out of 5 stars.

Other friends and fellow writers also began to report back to me with kind words (and pictures—see the slide show in the sidebar!). And slowly I began to relax and breathe easy again.

But what if readers don’t like what we write? What if it doesn’t resonate? What if we get disappointing feedback? 

How can we brace ourselves for those times when we get negative feedback? When readers (or agents or contest judges, etc.) don’t like what we’ve written?

Here are several things I’ve been telling myself in preparation for negative feedback:

If we’ve done the very best we can, then we have to let it go. I gave The Doctor’s Lady everything I had. I poured all my energy and heart into the book. Now I have to let it go, knowing I did the best I could for where I was at in my writing skill at the time I wrote it.

Tell ourselves we’ll do better on the next book. With every book I write, I make it my goal to improve in some way. I don’t want to remain stagnant or in the same spot. We all have room to grow no matter how long we’ve been writing.

Remember, the book won’t resonate with everyone and that’s normal. Of course fellow writers will read with objective eyes and will likely find more to critique. Hopefully most die-hard genre readers will enjoy the book. But we have to remember that readers are subjective, and what we write won’t always resonate with everyone all the time.

So what about you? Do you ever get stressed out wondering what people will think about your manuscript? What do you tell yourself to calm your nerves?
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