The "Future"

The minute you find out you are going to have a baby you start to plan. You may not mean to, but you can't help but think about the future and all the things that will change. You think about what your child will be like and what their future will hold. You think about your daughters wedding day or your son's first dance. You think about what they might look like and what type of man or woman they will become. When Mary was born that future that I had planned out shattered. It disappeared in an instant and nothing was left but a complete unknown. Of course, the original future I had been dreaming of was not real and never had been. No matter if I had a typical child or not. No one can plan out what a child's future will hold. We all just think we can. It is something that we hold on to. It is human nature to hold on to that idea and dream about our future. My amazing and inspired mother's words of advice comforted me more than she will ever know when she explained that reality to me the day Mary was born. She talked about what she had wanted and planned for her children (all typical) and said it doesn't always go the way we plan. In a few short words, she made me see that the future is unknown for EVERY child. She made me feel "normal." Which I needed more than anything at that moment. I will NEVER forget those words or the way it comforted me.

So, flash forward to 7 years and 9 months later. Mary's Resource teacher asks me, "What do you see or want for Mary's future?" Seriously!! How do I answer that? I wanted to say... I don't know! My plans for her future disappeared the day she was born. I am focusing on this day and this week and this year at the most. What does anyone want for their child? I want her to to be happy. That is pretty much it. I want her to pursue her own dreams, not my dreams for her. If those include going to college, living on her own, getting married, having a job, driving a car.... I want those for her. If she will be happier living at home forever... I want that for her. I want her to make her own decision and create her own future and her own happiness! Of course, I was not prepared to say all of that. The emotions of that question suprisingly overwhelmed me and I was caught off guard. I thought... what a stupid question. I want what any mom wants. What kind of thing did she expect me to say? I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I don't know. I want her to be happy. I see her working, living on her own if she chooses. I don't know." I know it won't be the last time I will be asked that question and I am sure I have been asked it before. However, I don't think I will ever answer that question the same way again. I will make sure to let whoever is asking know how ridiculous I think it is to ask someone such a thing. I will hopefully help them understand that what I want is just as "normal" as what they want or want anyone wants for their child. I want her to be HAPPY.

Happy Father's Day!

Okay, so I am a day late with this, but in my defense I had every intention of writing this post last week had I not been so busy (and husband less.) First, Happy Father's day to all of the fathers and future fathers out there. I am fortunate to have some of the best and most wonderful fathers in my life. I have been so blessed by their examples and their love. I want to share with you a little about what makes them so special.

First off, my Daddy. Richard Hemsley is an extremely intelligent man (GA Tech and Wharton School of Business Grad.) He has always been my biggest fan and given his unwavering support. He rarely missed ball games or chorus concerts and was always there to teach us and cheer us on. He has counseled me throughout my life and given advice that I have never forgotten. When I was just out of high school he was diagnosed with Central Nervous System Lymphoma (Brain Cancer) and given only a few weeks to live. I remember sitting on the edge of my father's bed in the hospital while he tried to give me and my sisters his last words of advice. His concern was only that of his family as he faced the end of his life here on earth. Believing in and praying for a miracle, my family watched as my father went through chemotherapy, radiation, and eating nothing but carrot juice for months without a single complaint or utterance of self pity. He is now a Brain Cancer survivor and grandfather to 11 kids and counting. He is a great man of faith and a strong spiritual leader in our family. Through out his life he has been an example of strength and faith. He has a great sense of humor and has always kept our home a home of laughter. He has always seen to it that our home is a home of peace where the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the center of our world. I love him so much and words cannot express my gratitude for his example of service, selflessness, love, and faith.


The Next man in my life is my wonderful husband! When Jeremy and I met I knew we were meant to be together. He is the most honest and true person you will ever meet. He is kind and always willing to serve others without complaint. He loves me and my girls unconditionally. He is a hard worker and never stops a job before it is complete. He is the current Young Men leader at church (boys 12-18 yrs old) and is so great with them and truly cares about all of them. He is a great leader at church and to his soldiers in the Army. He treats everyone with respect and never judges others. He serves his country and has a great appreciation for our freedoms and for the USA. He makes me laugh and smile. He plays so well with the girls and is so amazing with them. He has a amazingly strong testimony and his faith is always inspiring to me. I am so grateful that we found each other and will be able to be together for eternity. I love him more than life. I am so blessed to have him in my life.


I cannot talk about how wonderful Jeremy is without mentioning my wonderful Father-in-law. The first time I met Mel Tryon he welcomed me into his home with a warm smile and a hug and a kiss on the forehead. He is a member of the Lions Club and is always serving his community. He is very intelligent and values education. He is an Insurance Agent and has an amazing work ethic and always puts others needs first. He is so kind and generous to me and my girls. He is an amazing Grandpa and LOVES his granddaughters and is always willing to get down on the floor and play with them. He is honest and trustworthy. He has never met a stranger. He is selfless, loving, and generous. He is a wonderful example to our family. Some of my favorite qualities about Jeremy are inherited from his father. I am grateful to have a father-in-law (and in-laws in general) who make me feel like much more than a daughter-in-law.

Writing about these men, really makes my heart swell with gratitude for my family and my ancestors who taught them in truth and righteousness to become the great people they are today. I am truly blessed to be among such great, inspiring people.

Tears and Triumphs

Well it's been awhile and here I am with a soon to be 1st grader!! I attended Mary's Kindergarten Graduation this morning and her last day of Kindergarten is tomorrow. I can't believe it! At the beginning of the year, I was so terrified for my little baby. I worried about how her classmates would react to her, about her behavior, about her learning, and if she would even like being in school all day. We were blessed with a wonderful teacher and fabulous para pros!! This school year has been the most amazing year filled with tears of joy and triumphs in all areas. My baby girl is no longer a baby and has truly grown more this year than I could have ever imagined!!


When Mary was born, I had so many fears about the future. Most of my fears disappeared as she grew and I saw how amazing she was. I started this Kindergarten year expecting her to not really be able to keep up, but she sure showed me. She taught me to never put limits on her. She proved me wrong by learning to read sight words and phonetically in the first few months of school. She now has over 250 sight words and can sound out pretty much any word. She loves reading and reads every sign and book she can find. I thought, "okay... reading is definitely her strength, but she'll probably have a really hard time with math." Of course she had to prove me wrong again. She can count and understands the calender, weather, and is learning to tell time. She can solve simple word problems and do simple addition and simple subtraction.

As far as friends... I have been overwhelmed with how much she is loved by her classmates and everyone at her school! I was super shy as a child and just wanted to blend in. When Mary was born I feared how she would stand out... now I am so glad she does. I LOVE it!! Everyone knows Mary. She gets constant "hi, Mary"s, high fives and hugs from kids and teachers throughout the day. I love that she is being her own advocate and teaching others about Down syndrome.

A couple of days ago I opened Mary's book bag to find a book made by her class titled: All About Mary. The book was written by the students in her class and each drew a picture of her (this was done for each child in the class.) I cried as I read the sweet remarks of her peers. "Mary likes to read." "Mary is cute." "Mary has pretty blue eyes." "Mary has cool purple glasses." "Mary is silly." "Mary is smart" (this one really made the tears flow!) There was not one mention of her being different. The descriptions could have fit any typical child in her room. They see her for who she is and love her for who she is inside. Mary definitely has speech delays and attentions issues, but they look past her physical and emotional differences and truly know and love her.


I am sure going to miss all the kids her class and her amazing teachers. I hope that we end up with a few of them in her class next year. Mary is going into a fully mainstreamed 1st grade class with little support, so of course I have a new set of fears for next year. Even though the fears are there, the limits are not. I've learned my lesson on that one.


Mary is going into 1st grade on grade level. Let me just write that again. My child with Down Syndrome is going into 1st grade on grade level. 6 years ago, I would have never thought we would be in this situation. I was so ignorant when Mary was born. I really knew nothing about Down syndrome or what individuals with Down syndrome are capable of. Mary and Amelia have both taught me so much! I am so blessed to have them and so blessed to be a part of this world of special needs! It's something you never wish for, but when you get it... you can't imagine wanting anything different. I can honestly say I LOVE my life and all the trials that I have been blessed with!

Disney World Pictures continued...

Florida Vacation 2010 Day 5 and 6

Tuesday and Wednesday we finally made it to Disney World. Mary was in HEAVEN!!! She LOVED seeing Cinderella's Castle and all of the Princesses. She loved the rides and did really well on all of them! Amelia didn't like the Princesses in person so much (they made her cry), but she loved Mickey and Minnie and the Fairies. It was really an amazing trip and with our Disability Pass we were treated like VIP. Here is a picture timeline of Disney...

Dinner at Cinderella's Castle

Florida Vacation 2010 Day 3 and 4

Sunday we went to visit my good friend Julie at the beach in Jacksonville. The girls LOVED the beach and LOVED Julie, especially Mary. We will definitely have to go to the beach next year.

We went to Disney's Typhoon Lagoon Water park on Monday. Mary loved it and was loving the slides and wave pool. Amelia was a little overwhelmed and wanted to take it easy. She ended up falling asleep while we were there.

After lunch, Uncle Jay and Aunt Kathy came to visit from Sun City. It was really nice to visit with them.

Florida Vacation Day 2

Day 2.


Saturday morning was my first day at the Convention. Lori and I got up early and made it to the convention by 8am. (Impressive, huh?) We headed to a class on Behavior. It was really interesting and I learned a lot. Unfortunately it wasn't really what I needed for Mary specifically. It did touch on a few things, like her sleep issues, OCD behavior, and ADHD. It really could have been a whole conference in itself, so I just got little bits of info that only really touched the surface. I did, however, get the name of a med that might be our new best friend when it comes to sleep. Here are a few interesting facts I learned.

• Even though individuals with DS have "extra" chromosomes, they actually have fewer cells in their bodies. Decreased number of cells in the brain decreases the ability for those cells to "hook-up" and make connections.


• When behavior interferes with learning, socialization, and daily function there is a 2nd diagnoses.


• 70 - 80% of individuals with Down Syndrome have no "abnormal" behavior, only 5-10% have ADHD


• Many times, OCD, Sensory, ADHD, etc behaviors will lessen when sleep is improved.

The next class I attended was on Math titled: I can count, now what. Beyond early number concepts. Here are some fun things I learned.

• Individuals with DS learn math concepts in the same stages, just at a slower pace and their curriculum should be individualized in each grade so that they receive a firm foundation and don't get overlooked because teachers think they won't ever get it. They will!


• Use math daily with items and concepts that are part of their daily routine.


• Once Child is reliable at counting and fully understands counting one to one then begin teaching addition and then subtraction.


• If a child doesn't want to write the problems or answers, it is OKAY! It is about math, not about fine motor skills. If handwriting is hard, let them tell you in another way (verbally and you write it or let them chose pre-written number cards, etc.)


• Don't use obscure math vocabulary when defining. Make it simple. ex. Addition: Some + Some = all. Adding groups to make a whole. NOT: Summation, aggregate, etc.


• When beginning subtractions, start with numbers up to 9 until a firm foundation and understanding is achieved then work into double digits.


• when starting to teach counting on use 2 dice, first one with numbers and second one with dots. Also can use a number line.


• some websites with tools: learningpage.com, mathplayground.com, mathusee.com, dsfoc.org.

With Mary starting Kindergarten I really enjoyed the Math workshop. It made me not so fearful of having to teach her math.

After the workshops, Jeremy, Nancy and the girls came to meet us for lunch and to browse the vendors. When hung out for a while and visited with some of our dear friends from online.

We went back to our resort for naps and some swimming. Mary LOVED the pools with the water slides. She went down some bigger slides that scared the crap out of me, but she loved it and did it over and over. She is definitely going to be my thrill seeker!

(Pics coming soon)

Later that night we got cleaned up and went back over to the convention for the Banquet. It was really nice and we met some really wonderful people at our table. We didn't stay long for the Dance afterwards, because the girls were super tired. We did gets some pics of Mary and her friends (some of my friends daughters.)