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Virgin vs. Chad - Virgin Walk / Chad Stride

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Hair has been firmly fastened to never react to wind or any laws of physiques Hair seems to overreact to wind "The Virgin Walk" THE CHAD STRIDE Head craned forward Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Has figured out how to always look everyone in the eye at once at all times Looks below parallel Head is at a perfect verticle angle at all times Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately Does not register the emotions or feelings of others at all Has never heard a song in his entire life Back slouched if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming face in his periphery as "looking at him Too polite, gives too much space for oncoming traffic Arms constantly flailing in confident, unpredictable ways But secretly hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side Intentionally slaps and batters incoming traffic to make his own path Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find Little arm movement comfortable hand form Hands always prepared to grab nearby fertile p---- Might be too tense and rigid Back is so straight you could measure structural foundation with his spinal cord Walking form is poised like a Greek statue, perpetually in contrapposto Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because he struggles to "autowalk" - analogous to always manually breathing Rapidly tiptoes around like in "going to the store" MANDATORY Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Does not feel the need to pass anyone because he's already brutalized everyone nearby into submission Wears visually-painful bright neon attire $3000 highlighter boots from Giuseepe Zanotti Does not wear a coat, is immune to cold No one alive can insult his posture and get away with it Does not read stupid s--- drawn by Quentin Tiny beetle-like stride Long strides

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