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10.21.2011

open

i am busy and tired. grateful. indulgent. sidetracked. disappointed. re-calibrating.

i am open to whatever you want, Lord.

i am certain i need You to accomplish it.

Your kingdom come. Your will be done.

10.19.2011

like I'm real

Worship like He's real, Haley.

I AM REAL, HALEY.

Thus started my Sunday morning worship experience.

Have I really drifted so far from my solidarity of heart--of spirit?
 
God doesn't like my statuses. He doesn't comment on my wall. He's not retweeting my moment-by-moment updates. He's not a subject in my photographs. Not a friend knocking on my front door every day. I don't have an iCal reminder going off: "Meeting with God at 4:30 p.m.!"

Have I forgotten what real is?

I'm no conspiracy theorist--and I won't get down to the psychological effects (affects) of our web-based lives--but there's something wrong with the way I am thinking. I'll go as far to say there's something wrong with the way I am living... or not living.

I sang it out loud. I meant it. Hands raised, heart abandoned:

"Come shake the ground with the sound of revival."

Revival. One of Merriam-Webster's first definitions of the word is "renewed attention".
 Shake the ground with a sound that will renew my attention.


 Distract me, Lord.





a re-evaluation

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
-Micah 6:8 [ESV]

Following my foggy cynical season of post-high-school-identity-disorder, I remember distinctly how the Lord led me through a passionate season of humility.

I will not live for money. I will not live for work. I will not live to pay the bills.
I will live ever, only for You.

I developed dreams of serving the poor and needy, changing the world around through one-on-one God-saturated conversation, and consecrating myself to Him wholly--no matter the size of the sacrifice.

Today, years removed from the freshness of Ragamuffin Gospel and Crazy Love, I feel my inner self crying out "Make me humble again, Lord."

But do I trust Him with the process?

When I lay my Spirit's desires before Him, I certainly see my[whole]self more clearly. And some of the trinkets I hold onto are frankly embarrassing.

What if I have to give up:
-Shopping
-Lattes
-Facebook
-Select movies

"Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity,
And revive me in Your ways."

-Psalm 119:37 [NASB]


If it costs me everything--if it flips my self-absorbed life upside-down--I am willing. Furthermore, I am longing.

I long to have the heartbeat of God. I long to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with Him.
I am completely surrendered to His call, praying He interrupts and invades my day-to-day with His Kingdom Come.

10.11.2011

above the noise

Life has been a little more than chaotic lately. While I have made impressive strides to get into a normal routine on a day-to-day basis, the workload has consistently increased. On one hand, I am blessed in a recessive economy to be so busy with work--I truly do not take this for granted. I am now 5 weddings into a 16 wedding marathon--capturing love every Friday or Saturday for nearly 4 months straight! Seriously--I am not complaining. I'm just learning a lot about myself--about running a business full-time while treasuring my family, keeping God first, and not going nuts in the meantime.

This weekend was a whirlwind of fun. I photographed a Nigerian wedding in Atlanta and then captured what might possibly be my favorite session to date. I will continue to reach for the stars.

Amidst the events this weekend, I found some time to spend in the Word. Reading through the beginning of Proverbs, I came across one of my favorite scriptures and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
I still find it wonderful that this Big God who created everything [and holds it all in place] can find me in the middle of my chaos and speak straight to my heart. I trust Him with everything inside me--and long to honor Him the same.

Calming things down and reading my Bible with the chaos of Atlanta traffic outside my hotel window, I was reminded of a hymn I came across just a few months ago. I decided to utilize the view from the window as a backdrop to the verse. May this be a reminder to us all.




10.01.2011

seasons

This is my favorite day of the year. I walked outside this morning and the air was crisp--welcoming to my cardigans and scarves. It is officially the first day of fall.

I'm excited to bring my Bible and notepad, accompanied by my latest favorite worship c.d., Will Reagan and United Pursuit--Live at the Banks House (GET IT!) to Starbucks... sit outside, sip on my Pumpkin Spice Latte, and take a day off--soaking in His Word and truth.

Here's their video to "Set a Fire."

Find time to spend with Him today.




9.29.2011

3.01.2011

defending God

Don't get me wrong, God doesn't need to be defended. I know this.

But I want to rack your brain for a second.

In the past five years of my life, I have become an avid follower of several spiritual leaders, both local and national. Rob Bell, Francis Chan, and Andy Stanley are some of the top ones. At some point in the game, I have defended each one of them (as if I am intellectually qualified to assess any of these men). Rob Bell and his forward thinking. Francis Chan on the Holy Spirit. Andy Stanley and his seeker-sensitive services. I respected these men. I wanted everyone to see the good they were doing.

But I didn't know them.

I don't believe in slandering the name of a leader in some sort of prideful dissection of their choices. Given that disclaimer, I ran into a brick wall of dilemma this week. A friend shared an article with me preluding to a new book by Rob Bell. In this review, and in an interview with Rob Bell, he expresses that Hell will probably be empty because the Love of God couldn't send someone to hell eternally for missing their opportunity of faith in Him on earth. My immediate instinct when I read the article was to begin to muster up reasons of why Rob Bell would come to this conclusion. As I was reviewing the reasons again this afternoon, my mind came to a

screeching halt.

Why, in the moment of that dilemma, was I so quick to defend Rob Bell? Why, considering my profession of utmost faith in God, was I not immediately mustering scripture to defend THE VERY GOD I AM LIVING FOR?

There are things that will not make sense to me. It would be foolish for a five year old to say to a 100 year old man that he would like to be explained the old man's rationalization process on an issue. In the same way (but at a much higher degree), how can I believe that my thoughts are even comparable to the God who created the universe (so complex that millions of scientists across history could spend centuries upon centuries learning and still not have a completed grasp on it's wonders)? How can I believe and profess that God created me--my anatomy, my way of thinking, my soul--and think that I would be able to comprehend all of His motives?

We cannot explain everything. We will blind ourselves to the Mysteries of God if we attempt to do so.

In the middle of a passage about a group of people who were manufacturing a false form of religion, Romans 1 states "Claiming to be wise, they became fools..."

I'm not saying Rob Bell is forming a cult. I'm simply asking why we are defending him--a thirty-something year old man--against the Word of God. A book that, (yes, I know your argument: was written by men. The Bible has been more researched and cross-referenced than ANY history book you have ever read. The words of the Bible are more meticulously solid, in proven research across thousands of years by thousands of brilliant men, than your history book discussing the events of the past 200 years of America. Really. Research it thoroughly and prove me wrong). Back to my point. The Bible has way more history and tenure than Rob Bell. We should be defending it's truths more passionately than his opinions, even if we simply look at historical and intellectual buy-in.

But so many of us aren't.

As I stated before, I don't know Rob Bell. But I know God. I can hold onto the non-retractable experiences I have had indicating his absolute realness. In my closeness and connection with Him, I should be more quick to be convinced by His Words than any modern-day leader. (And, to be honest, that is an understatement).

I am speaking to my generation. The current generation of young people, posing themselves as the future leaders of this world.

You have big hearts. You have hungry minds. But if you try to live-out a faith that discredits what Jesus Christ himself said, how can you say you believe in Him as the Savior of the World?

This is not a popular message. Not one that I've addressed before. And I know this will tick-off a vast majority of my friends, who I love and respect so much. However, I refuse to be blown about by the opinions of the next big leader, while professing that I have faith in an Everlasting, Omnipresent God. I will not say, in pride, that I have the right to know everything about God. (I desire to know Him more, and hold to the promise that one day I will know Him fully, although that in and of itself is somewhat incomprehensible). With all of the stupid decisions I have made in my life, with all of the "hind-sight is 20/20" moments, I can only imagine that "afterlife" with the Lord would provide far more insight than my mortal mind can comprehend in this life.

I will still search. I will still seek. I will still have questions. I will still experience moments of frustration. I will still experience moments of heartbreak and misunderstanding.

BUT: "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts..." (Isaiah 55: 8-9)

Selah.