10 Unforgettable Beauty Lessons from Miss Piggy
When it comes to our childhood beauty icons, Miss Piggy is forever our number one. Who else can work purple eyeshadow and major eyelashes while also taking exactly NO crap? Exactly. Miss Piggy showed us that beauty is as beauty does, and that no matter who you are, you have to love yourself the most. It’s no exaggeration to say that her perfect blonde hair, self-confidence and karate chops made us the women we are today.
Naturally, we’re incredibly excited about the premiere of The Muppet Show tonight (especially because it’s set behind the scenes of Up Late With Miss Piggy, and it’s about time there are more women in late night TV), and what better way to celebrating than by feting the wisdom of the most glamorous pig in all the world? Here are 10 crucial beauty lessons that we learned from Miss Piggy.
On embracing your strengths: “Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker-punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.”
On self-love: “Beauty is all about loving who you are. And if you have problems with that, may I suggest that you try loving who I am?”
On living your best life: “Moi has always been a strong, self-confident woman, but not everyone is moi. Come to think of it, no one else is moi. Heck, before I put on my face in the morning, not even moi is moi! So, you women can use me as a role model, but you have to be yourselves. Put up my poster, embrace my trailblazing style, but live your own life. And most especially—get your own frog.”
On never being part of the crowd: “I am a pig. And as a pig, I have always stood out.”
On her famous locks: “Never wash your hair with anything you’d hesitate to eat or drink.”
On instagram: Here, The Divine Miss P leads by example. Take lots of selfies and forget anyone who tries to cut you down by telling you that it’s vain. Beauty and fabulousness should be celebrated—and never hesitate to call yourself a #styleicon.
On the power of makeup (and she’d know; remember her MAC collaboration?): “I believe that all beauty comes from within—that if you love yourself, then you will look lovely. But, just in case, it doesn’t hurt to have some fabulous makeup to highlight your loveliness.”
On plastic surgery: “I look younger. And the truth is that I have had work done. I’m not afraid to admit it. I believe one should maintain one’s beauty by whatever means necessary—nip and tuck, Botox, caulking. If it works, do it.”
On the subjective nature of beauty: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
And never forget: when in doubt, add more blush. Bonus points if Joan Rivers applies it for you (RIP).
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