How to Create a Win-Win Situation
Human
Interaction
Win-Win is not a technique; it’s a total
philosophy of human interaction. In fact, it is one of six paradigms of
interaction. The alternative paradigms are win-losing, lose-win, lose-lose,
win.
Win-Win
Win-win is a frame
of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human
interactions. Win-win means that agreements or solutions are mutually
beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a win-win solution, all parties feel good
about the decision and feel committed to the action plain. Win-win sees life a
cooperative, not a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in terms of
dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind
of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather
than on principle. Win-win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for
everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or
exclusion of the success of others.
Win-win is a belief in the Third
Alternative. It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way, a higher way.
Win-Lose
One alternative to win-win is
win-lose, the paradigm of the race to Bermuda. It says ‘If I win you lose.
In leadership style, win-lose is the
authoritarian approach: “I get my way; you don’t get yours.” Win-lose people
are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to
get their way.
Certainly, there
is a place for win-lose thinking in truly competitive and low-trust situations.
But most of life is not a competition. We don’t have to live each day competing
with our spouse, our children, our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends.
“who’s winning in your marriage?” is a ridiculous question. If both people
aren’t winning, both are losing.
Most of life is interdependent, not
an independent, reality. Most results you want to depend on cooperation between
you and others. And the win-lose mentality is dysfunctional to that
cooperation.
Lose-Win
Lose-win is worse than
win-lose because it has no standards – no demands, no expectations, no vision.
People who think lose-win are usually quick to please or appease. They seek
strength from popularity or acceptance. They have little courage to express
their own feelings and convictions and are easily intimidated by the ego
strength of others.
Win-lose people love lose-win people because they can
feed on them. They love their weaknesses – they take advantage of them. Such
weaknesses complement their strengths. But the problem is that lose-win people
bury a lot of feelings.
Many executives, managers, and parents
swing back and forth, as if on a pendulum, from win-lose inconsideration to
lose-win indulgence. When they can’t stand confusion and lack of structure,
direction, expectation, and discipline any longer, they swing back to win-lose
– until guilt undermines their resolve and drives them back to lose-win – until
anger and frustration drive them back to win-lose again.
Lose-Lose
When two win-lose people get together – that is, when two determined,
stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact – the result will be lose-lose.
Lose-lose
is also the philosophy of the highly dependent person without inner direction
who is miserable and thinks everyone else should be, too. “If nobody ever wins,
perhaps being a loser isn’t so bad.
Win
Another common alternative is simple to think win.
People with the win mentality don’t necessarily want someone else to lose.
That’s irrelevant. What matters is that they get what they want.
When
there is no sense of contest or competition, a win is probably the most common
approach in everyday negotiation. A person with the win mentality thinks in
terms of securing his own ends – and leaving it to others to secure theirs.
Blog Writer Think:- The Best Situation is the
Win-win, because you and your customer are winning in the same Situation
This Article is Taken from The 7Habits of Highly
Effective People
Written by Arshad. A
