The 35+ Best and Funniest Walk into a Bar Jokes

Walk into a Bar Jokes – When you hear something that has the phrase “walk into a bar” it usually involves a joke. There are plenty of ways to tell a joke involving this phrase. Some are short but pack a punch while others are a tad long but end with a great punchline. Whether it involves a bar patron or the bartender, “Walk into a Bar” jokes offer a great variety. Sometimes, this joke does not deliver a whole lot of humor, but it can be fun to tell others. With how varied this type of joke can be, there is something for everyone to enjoy. These are just some of the funniest jokes involving a bar you can share with someone:

• A man walks into a bar.
  He said, “Ouch.”
  
• Two guys walk into a bar.
  The third one ducks.
  
• A panda, a cowboy, a man with a cat on his shoulder, and a time-traveler walk into a bar.
  “What is this,” the bartender yells. “Some kind of joke?”
  
• A ghost walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
  
• A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a pint and a mop.”
  
• A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer, please! And one for the road!”
  
• A snake walks into a bar.
  The bartender says, “How the hell did you do that?”
  
• A man walks into a bar owned by horses.
  The bartender says, “Why the short face?”
  
• A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”
  
• A tennis ball walks into a bar.
  The barman says, “Have you been served?”
  
• A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”
  The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”
  
• Two dragons walk into a bar.
  The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”
  His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”
  
• A weasel walks into a bar.
  The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
  “Pop,” goes the weasel.
  
• A penguin walks into a bar.
  The bartender says, “So, what will it be this time?”
  The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin.
  
• A horse walks into a bar.
  The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”
  The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”

More Walk into a Bar Jokes

• A beaver walks into a bar.
  The bartender says, “Close the dam door!”
  
• Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
  You can’t tell me that was just a coincidence, man.
  
• A Scottish man walks into a bar…
  There’s usually an Irish man and English man in this joke, but they’re still at the Rugby World Cup.
  
• A man with authority walks into a bar.
  He orders everyone around.
  
• A corn stalk walks into a bar.
  The bartender says, “Want to hear a joke?”
  The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”
  
• A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
  He came, he saw, he conquered.
  
• The barman says, “We don’t serve time travellers in here.”
  A time traveller walks into a bar.
  
• So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey. This is a singles bar.”
  
• Two termites walk into a bar.
  One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
  
• An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol
  
• Two jumper cables walk into a bar.
  One of them says, “We’d like a couple of beers, please.”
  The bartender says, “OK, but don’t start anything.”
  
• A screwdriver rolls into a bar.
  The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
  The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip?”
  
• A guy walks into a bar and asks for fruit punch.
  The bartender says “Sure. Just get in line.”
  The guy looks over and gets confused ’cause there’s no punchline.
  
• A crab walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint please, but if I’m  not satisfied with it, I’d like to be compensated with ten bottles of  champagne.”
  The bartender says, “Why the big clause?”
  
• A guy walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are assholes.”
  The man at the end of the bar says, “I object to that remark.”
  The guy responds, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
  “No, I’m an asshole,” says the man.

Other Related Jokes

• A new lawyer walks into a diner.
  “Where’s the bar?” he asks.
  A waitress responds, “You passed it on the way here.”
  
• A dyslexic man walks into a bra…
  
• Give a man a duck and he’ll eat for a day.
  Teach a man to duck and he’ll never walk into a bar.
  
• A guy walks into a wedding reception.
  He goes up to the bartender and asks, “Is this the punch line?”
  
• Why did the woman bring a ladder to the bar?
  Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
  
• Do you serve ladies at this bar?
  No, sir, you have to supply your own.

If you liked these jokes, then you may like our “Why did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes” and “That’s What She Said Jokes.“