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Did you know potluck is my genre of food? It is. There’s nothing like two nine-foot tables arranged end to end and completely covered with a melange of casseroles, green bean dishes, salads, cakes, and pies to give you renewed appreciation for churchgoing women.
I’m sorry, but churchgoing women can cook.
Okay, now I’m hungry. I would switch membership to any church that would hold a potluck dinner today. Who’s with me?
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
We’re going to make a chocolate cookie crust. I never can find those plain chocolate wafers anymore (do they even make them? I miss them so.) so I use the next best thing: Oreos.
Incidentally, I’m not afraid to call out brand names around here. I don’t like it when recipes say things like “chocolate sandwich cookies.” They’re Oreos, sirs!
Or “non-dairy whipped topping?” It’s Cool Whip! Even if you don’t buy the brand names! They’re still Oreos and Cool Whip!
It’s like “Coke” or “Frigidaire“, as in, “Sammy, WHAT is this is my Frigidaire?”
“Beer.”
(Name that movie.)
Okay, fine. Throw 25 of the “chocolate sandwich cookies” into a food processor and pulse them until the white filling has completely incorporated into the chocolate.
Pour the crumbs into a mixing bowl.
Melt five tablespoons of butter…
And drizzle it over the crumbs.
BUTTER? And OREOS? Has the world gone crazy?
I think the end is near.
Now, pour the crumbs into a pie pan and use your fingers (or the bottom of a dry measuring cup) to press the crumbs into the bottom and sides of the pan.
Now just pop it into the oven for 5 to 7 minutes, or until set. Don’t let it burn! That would be an error of epic proportions.
Remove the crust from the oven and let it cool completely.
Peanut butter, plain.
Cream cheese, softened.
Cool Whip, completely thawed.
I’m sorry. Non-dairy whipped topping. I forgot.
Gosh. I don’t think there’s a smoother sight than a freshly cracked jar of peanut butter.
Throw a cup of peanut butter and a package of cream cheese into the mixing bowl.
Whip it together until smooth.
Now throw in 1 1/4 cup powdered sugar. You can sift it if you want…but why?
I hate sifting powdered sugar—I’m just gonna say it.
Anyway, mix in the sugar until well combined and fluffy.
Next comes the 8 ounce tub of Cool Whip.
I’m SORRY! But it’s a potluck pie. And you can’t make potluck pie without non-dairy whipped topping! I don’t know how many times I have to say it!
Turn the mixer on high and really whip it well. Then turn off the mixer, scrape the sides of the bowl, and turn it back on high.
The mixture should be really, really fluffy.
Next…you know what comes next.
Pour the filling into the chocolate cookie crust.
Oh, man. There’s just nothing right about this.
But you know what? Being right is highly overrated.
You’ll need to chill the pie for at least an hour—longer is better—before serving.
I seriously intended to show you the chilled pie when I removed it from the fridge. But before I knew what had happened…this had happened.
It can happen to you, too!
