I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
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