What Is a Hopeless Romantic? 11 Key Signs You Might Be One

Many people dream of finding “the one.” However, even with this common goal, everyone ultimately has a different relationship with love. You may find solace in platonic relationships, leaning more into your friendships for emotional support, instead of constantly searching for a lifelong partner. Or you may regularly daydream about your future spouse, imagining your dream life with them. In such a case, you may be considered a hopeless romantic. “[This] is someone who is more susceptible to falling in love and gets carried away in their romantic feelings,” says Bree Jenkins, a dating coach and licensed therapist. “Usually, they will dream and fantasize about people they like, give a lot of energy to romantic pursuits, and have a deep desire for love and partnership. They typically wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to potential love.”

While it may appear as though there's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, only seeing the world—and your dating life—through these romanticized glasses can create challenges for you. Rather than evaluating the risks and potential red flags a potential partner presents you with, you may find yourself recklessly jumping into new relationships. Due to your optimistic spirit, romantic partners may take advantage of your tendency to give endless love and support—without offering you the same level of respect in return.

Curious about whether or not you can be classified as a hopeless romantic? We asked Jenkins to reveal the 11 most common signs to look out for. In addition to breaking down the key indicators, she also shares some tips on how to ensure you're avoiding the all-too-common pitfalls hopeless romantics face on a regular basis—without giving up on love entirely.

11 Signs That You're a Hopeless Romantic

Think you may be a hopeless romantic? Consider the following 11 signs.

1. Your Romances Start and End Quickly

If you're a hopeless romantic, you may feel intense passion upon meeting a potential new partner. However, after a relatively short amount of time, you may notice that these relationships tend to end in flames or fizzle out. You may get burned by people often, but, ultimately, that doesn’t stop you from seeking out love.

2. You Have One-Sided Relationships

Hopeless romantics give a lot of themselves to their relationships—emotionally, physically, and energetically. “Often this can be to their detriment, as they may feel many of their partners don't have the same level of giving and affection in return,” Jenkins says. When the give-and-take is uneven, you may fall into despair, believing that you're not enough or not worthy of your significant other's love and affection. You may even notice yourself doubling down on your gestures of love. However, remember that for some people, these acts can feel suffocating and stifling. 

3. You Have an Overly Optimistic View of Love

Hopeless romantics love to look on the bright side of life. Oftentimes, this personality trait is what initially attracts potential romantic partners to them. “Hopeless romantics usually see the best in new people and may find connections and commonality in people easily,” says Jenkins. “These perceived connections lead them to weave a tale of fatedness and start to emotionally invest in their potential partners.”

4. You Ignore Warning Signs

Most hopeless romantics are eternal optimists. And as such, you may tend to reject or completely avoid any red flags that indicate that your idea or expectations of a relationship are not being met. “They generally ignore behavior that doesn't fit the perspective of how a new love interest impresses them,” Jenkins says. “They may dismiss red flags and subtle ways a person is not as invested in them.”

5. You’re Obsessed With All Things Romance

Hopeless romantics tend to lean into love in multiple ways, whether by following relationship and wedding accounts on social media, or by overindulging in romance-centric movies, shows, books, and music. “Usually, hopeless romantics have a positive or happier disposition, as this optimistic perspective is what leads them to wear rose-colored glasses in romance,” says Jenkins. “They believe in love and fairy tales, they can have youthful energy, are great cheerleaders and supporters of those they love.”

6. You Lead With Your Emotions

A hopeless romantic feels everything deeply and wears their heart on their sleeve. While this can sometimes be a good thing, it can also work against you when reality doesn’t live up to your heightened expectations. Riding this roller coaster of joyful highs and disappointing lows can ultimately be emotionally draining.

7. You Tend to Idealize Your Partner

Hopeless romantics have a one-dimensional view of relationships and dating. For example, you might even fall in lust or love with someone without even really knowing them. To avoid that, Jenkins recommends reflecting on what you actually want in a partner. “They should clarify and write down their deal breakers and needs before meeting a shiny new person, so when things happen, they can have a reference point made when they weren't under the glow of lust or new interest,” she suggests.

8. You Have a Martyr Complex 

As a hopeless romantic, your idealized view can lead you to believe that you must continually give in order to receive love, that your only value is in what you provide for your partner, or that you must suffer in order to be rewarded in love. A martyr feels powerless to change themselves, which leaves them totally at the mercy of other people’s behavior.

9. You Daydream About Love

Hopeless romantics tend to live in a fantasy world when it comes to dating. They might spend all their time and energy thinking about love and relationships because they enjoy how it makes them feel. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it’s important to realize that these are just daydreams— and not reality. “A hopeless romantic should date multiple people when they're single to keep their attention from over-focusing on one person to project all of their love fantasy and energy,” says Jenkins. “They should keep a balance of being with friends and busy with work and hobbies before allowing romance to overtake their mental space.” 

10. You Have Few Long-Term Relationships

A hopeless romantic’s idealized view of love often leads to impossibly high standards, with few partners getting past the threshold. “A romantic is more discriminating and may only have giving and amorous behaviors to a select few people, but they aren't as likely to do those behaviors outside of an exclusive or committed relationship,” Jenkins says.

11. You Spend All Your Time With a New Partner

When you do find someone, as a hopeless romantic, you may make the most of it by spending all your time with that partner—to the point of neglecting and ignoring your hobbies and friends. Remember to take it slow, keep up your individual commitments and passions, and allow the relationship to unfold naturally over time. This also applies to your online behavior. “Hopeless romantics should NOT deep dive into social media and post their new partner and interests on their page,” says Jenkins.