With a complex, stressful undertaking like planning a wedding, emotions tend to run high, creating the perfect storm for conflict to arise among the couple’s family members. The relationship between the bride and her future mother-in-law is a particularly challenging one to navigate during this process. While both families orchestrate the details of the affair, the woman of the hour’s future mother-in-law can act out toward the bride as a way to claim their power and exert control over the decision-making process, whether it’s wearing white to the event or demanding that the couple change their venue.
There are a number of reasons why mothers of the groom make the wedding-planning process a difficult—or near-impossible feat, in some cases—for their future daughter-in-laws. For one, nuptials mark a huge transitional period for everyone involved, stirring up the fear of change and loss. Since the mother’s child is starting a new chapter in their lives with another person, they’re often afraid of being replaced and no longer feeling needed. Additionally, with these celebrations, the bride and her future mother-in-law have different opinions, values, family traditions, and upbringings that tend to clash. And if the soon-to-be mother-in-law is contributing financially to the event, some feel like they’re authorized to call the shots.
Since brides butting heads with their future mother-in-laws is a common experience for many, we scoured the internet to find tales that speak to this tricky relationship. Ahead, we rounded up the worst mother-in-law stories that went viral on Reddit and sparked heated discussions online. Whether these narratives validate your feelings or put your own difficulties into perspective, you’re bound to be shocked by these accounts.
A Blatant Attempt to Sabotage the Day
In one bride’s tale, the woman explained that her future mother-in-law—who “loves attention”—tried to sabotage every part of her big day. Leading up to the celebration, the mother of the groom demanded that she wear white to the wedding, and when the couple vetoed her request, she declared that her son shouldn’t marry the bride. For the rehearsal dinner, her fiancé’s mother chose a low-cost, inaccessible venue before delivering a speech that hurled insults at the bride, blaming her for her son's infrequent calls.
On the day of the wedding, the groom’s mother ignored the bride when she walked into the bridal suite, complained about taking family photos during cocktail hour, and talked “loudly” throughout every reception toast. The following day, at the post-wedding brunch, the mother of the groom made a fuss about the lack of food. Even though her son pushed her back, she played the victim, according to the post.
After venting to Reddit about the negative impact her mother-in-law had on her special day, the internet empathized with the bride and shared their advice for navigating the relationship going forward. “You go low contact,” a fellow Redditor suggested. “Have a plan with your husband that always starts and ends with supporting each other. Then stay calm and stick to the plan (especially when that plan is leaving).”
An Unauthorized Try-On of the Bride’s Wedding Dress
Another shocking Reddit story on the popular subreddit “Am I the A------" describes a situation in which the future bride found her fiancé’s mom trying on her $3,700 wedding dress before she walked down the aisle. As soon as the woman bought her gown, she said her future mother-in-law continuously begged her to try it on—and even offered her $100 at one point—but the bride-to-be “firmly refused.” One day, the woman came home early from work and found her fiancé guarding her bedroom door. Inside, his mother was wearing the bride’s big-day getup. Since the bride’s future mother-in-law disrespected her wishes, she demanded that the woman buy her a new dress, which caused the groom’s mother to cry and the bride’s fiancé to yell at her.
Once she finished telling her narrative, the internet came to the consensus that the bride was not at fault. They all agreed that the mother-in-law was obviously in the wrong. “Your FMIL has issues,” someone wrote. “She hasn't respected your wishes even when you set clear boundaries. It was utter selfish and really weird behaviour from her.” Since the woman’s behavior would likely persist and since her fiancé was on board, they all encouraged her to cancel the wedding.
An Intentional Photobomb of the Couple Portraits
One bride took to the same subreddit to describe a situation that involved the mother of the groom refusing to let the newlyweds take any solo shots on their wedding day. The Redditor began her story by explaining that she and her now-husband didn’t take any photos of the two of them, so they decided to snap their portraits at the reception. As they posed, the groom’s mother joined the photo. When the bride kindly asked her mother-in-law to leave, she ignored the request. After the affair, the bride took matters into her own hand by cropping her husband’s mother out of the photo, which promoted an angry text from her.
The internet’s take on the matter was unanimous: The mother of the groom was acting unreasonably. “Your MIL was really, literally, inserting herself in a place where she was not wanted,” one person commented. Many also pointed out that her husband was also at fault since he didn’t push his mother back.
An Unreasonable Demand to Change Their Wedding Date
A bride-to-be posted on the subreddit, sharing that after seven years of dating, she and her future fiancé secured their venue and announced the upcoming date to their families. It was only after they put all of their deposits down that the bride’s future mother-in-law texted the bride, demanding that she change the date since it was in close proximity to the day her child passed away from SIDs (sudden infant death syndrome). Because it wouldn’t fall on the actual anniversary of the child’s death and since the chosen date was her late uncle’s birthday, the future bride stuck with the original one.
Online spectators shared their perspective on the dilemma and fully backed the bride. “You’ve picked a date which is not the anniversary of the death of your mil’s child, and you gave fair notice of the date so people could feed in, and now the date is locked in by deposits,” someone typed. “You are NTA for sticking to the plan.” Many others pointed out that because the bride’s future mother-in-law consulted her, not her son, it seemed like an intentional power play.
A Disregard for the Bride’s Wish to Forgo Family Dances
When a bride-to-be wanted to forgo the traditional family dances due to her father’s passing, her future mother-in-law disregarded her wishes and insisted on having a choreographed mother-son dance. In her post on Reddit, the future bride explained that since her father died when she was five years old, the customary dances would remind her of his absence and bring up a lot of difficult emotions. After the bride shared her perspective with her future mother-in-law, her fiancé’s mom accused her of “ruining the day,” even though her son wasn’t on board with the choreographed number. In response, the bride-to-be warned the woman that she’d be kicked out of the venue if she followed through with it.
Those who followed the thread concurred that the original poster was completely valid for putting herself first. “Since you are not able to have a father-daughter dance, it feels insensitive and even awkward if your fiancé and his mother not only had a mother-son dance, but did a showy choreographed production,” a Redditor remarked. “Keep the day focused on you as a couple.”
An Outright Refusal of the Bride’s Dessert Request
In this Reddit story, the bride’s future mother-in-law was the one writing in, telling the internet about a request from the bride that she prepare the wedding cookie table—a wedding tradition in some states and religions—since she isn’t close with her own family. From the mother of the groom’s perspective, her future daughter-in-law was asking a lot since she mistook the assignment as making 1,000 cookies from scratch (but instead, all of the female relatives and in-laws chip in), so she declined the plea. After the bride got upset and the groom expressed his anger toward his mother, she wondered whether she acted inconsiderately.
While some sided with the groom’s mom, many thought her refusal was unkind. “There seems to be a huge empathy gap here from you towards your future DIL,” one comment said. “It sounds like she has little to no family support. She's likely hoping to be close to her in-laws. It may also mean that her eagerness is causing her to display poor social skills. It also sounds like you and your daughters are only seeing that as an imposition to you, and not offering any grace.”
An Unwarranted Invitation of 10 Extra Guests
For one bride, her future mother-in-law (and father-in-law) were responsible for the only hiccup that happened during her wedding. According to her account on Reddit, the bride’s future in-laws invited 10 extra people (whom the bride had never met) to the wedding without consulting the couple first. The bride didn’t notice the uninvited guests’ presence until the reception because they didn’t have a designated table. Luckily, the groomsmen found some extra folding chairs, but since they were the last ones called to the buffet, they claimed everything was “picked over.” As a result, the in-laws demanded that the bride apologize to their friends, but she explained that they were never invited to begin with.
Nearly everyone who responded to the thread took the bride’s side. “Wow the entitlement of your in-laws is amazing,” an individual exclaimed, incredulously. “Who invites a bunch of extras to a wedding then gets upset they had no food or place to sit? You don't owe anyone an apology.”