We've long known masturbation is good for us and the physical and mental benefits are something many sex-positive voices and experts preach. While we've always known it can improve our mood, lower stress and promote body confidence, it's long been debated whether masturbating impacts how you experience sex with other people.
Some experts and researchers have hypothesised that masturbating on your own means you're more likely to know how to orgasm, and you will therefore apply that knowledge during partnered sex. Others argue those who masturbate using sex toys then find it more difficult to reach orgasm during sex with a partner(s) because it doesn't quite hit in the same way. A new study has just been published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine looking at these theories, and finally we have some answers.
Researchers involved more than 2,000 women and people with vaginas, all of whom were straight or in a relationship with a male or penis-having partner. First it was found that these people were having sex with their partners twice a week on average, and masturbating once every two weeks. The majority of these people said they used clitoral stimulation while masturbating, and around half said they used vaginal penetration. But most importantly, nearly all of these people said that whichever masturbatory method they used, they also used the same method when having sex with other people.
And it was found that those who mimicked the way they masturbate while having sex with a partner were more likely to "overcome orgasmic difficulty, to experience orgasm and to experience greater orgasmic pleasure".
Author of the study David L. Rowland, who is a psychology professor at Valparaiso University, told PsyPost, "The results iterate the importance of the woman’s communication with her partner regarding the types of stimulation that will most likely enhance her probability of reaching orgasm, often simulating techniques that may be used to reach orgasm during masturbation.”
He also pointed out that how happy these people were in their relationships was a key variable, and that those who are more satisfied in their relationship had lower "orgasmic difficulty".
"This relationship is likely bi-directional. Women who have greater sexual satisfaction during partnered sex enjoy the intimacy with their partner, thus enhancing their relationship," he added. "At the same time, women who have a better relationship with their partner are likely better at communicating their sexual needs to them, thus increasing their potential for arousal and orgasm."
While communicating openly with a sexual partner about how best to pleasure you might seem daunting and nerve-wracking, it's clearly a win-win. If telling or showing someone how to make you come is something you struggle with, these women shared their advice on how to do it.
Paisley is the former Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK. She covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ. She definitely reveals too much about her personal life on the Internet.
