For those of you who, quite sensibly, have taken to tripping balls on South American psychedelics every weekend just to get away from it all, here’s what you missed over the past couple days.
First up: Down in Florida, some other nutball got within five hundred yards of the former president* while carrying an AK-47—nutballs with AK-47s are just what the Founders intended—but you needn’t worry. By 4:06 on Sunday afternoon, the former president* was up and grifting by email.
In response to these events, Elon Musk got up on the tallest mound of refuse in the landfill he’s made of Xwitter and wrote: “And no one is even trying to assassinate Biden/Kamala.”
He later took down the post, possibly because people would begin to realize that this guy has a number of lucrative government contracts, many of which require security clearances.
Next up: GOP mendacity is rapidly making life in Springfield, Ohio, unlivable. The bomb threats continue. Threats of a mass shooting closed down Wittenberg University. The Haitian community has hunkered down for its own protection. And the source of all the mendacity, Republican vice-presidential candidate J (Divan) Vance, went on CNN and, confronted by a newly aggressive Dana Bash, admitted that his entire rap about Haitians eating household pets was a complete fabrication and, no, he had no intention of giving up on it. From CNN:
“The American media totally ignored this stuff until Donald Trump and I started talking about cat memes. If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what I’m going to do,” the Ohio senator said.
Bash replied, “You just said that this is a story that you created.”
Vance said, “It comes from firsthand accounts from my constituents. I say that we’re creating a story, meaning we’re creating the American media focusing on it. I didn’t create 20,000 illegal migrants coming into Springfield thanks to Kamala Harris’ policies. Her policies did that. But yes, we created the actual focus that allowed the American media to talk about this story and the suffering caused by Kamala Harris’ policies.”
This greasy gobshite is about a day away from saying something like Hey, even Jesus used parables.
And in the latest development, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago plans to visit Springfield, probably to take part in the healing process. I mean, that ear of his is looking pretty good these days.
