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I didn’t understand. If that boy couldn’t read, why was he up there? The girl they originally had hosting the ceremony didn’t show, but why they put that boy there? Just because he volunteer for everything? You can’t read off enthusiasm. It made the whole school look trash. All he had to do was basically read the name of someone he already knew or sound out the first part and guess. He looking down at the paper like it’s an awkward lift. If he mispronounced my name, I’d snatch the mic and say, “Say it correctly. De-ra-ja-nae, boy! I know you. We know each other. Sound it out. Guess better. Use what’s around you.”

People wanted to hear they name said so they could leave. He was up there at the podium holding the mic sideways to his mouth with a weak spotlight shaking on his cap, struggling through the name Thomas. Talking about Thaw-mas. And Thomas standing right there in the walkway. Look up, boy! He ain’t even look surprised when Thomas tapped him on the shoulder and took the certificate. Thomas got Most Improved in Miss Telefort’s math class. After that it was all out of order, people just standing up for no reason, sitting down, not recognizing they own name. The vice principal was in the corner of the stage shouting categories like a loud shadow. I saw Azal a few rows ahead, giggling, and gave her a look that mean, You laughing at your dumb self. We all in the same class, idiot.

It was me feeling stupid for showing up. Over half the school ain’t come, so there might have been thirty kids, plus some parents and all the teachers. Miss Marie lied to me, said they had to borrow extra chairs from the restaurant next door. She make a bigger deal out of everything than it is. Talking’bout “This is a once-in-alifetime opportunity to be recognized for your gifts.” If I was getting recognized alongside that boy Eliot, I didn’t want it.

The school used to be an office space so there’s a big lobby soon as you walk in and one of them spinning doors you can trap people in. They should have known not to put that in no school with me. We had too much fun with that. A boy we wouldn’t let out fainted once. He had been laughing until he just dropped. You would think they would have remodeled and not had a bunch of kids coming to school looking like it’s a nine-to-five. All gray marble and cold, but they tried to make it colorful with construction-paper drawings on the wall, signs, posters about what you could become, how you could shape the day. I wore a big sweater every day. It made me sleepy, and everybody including teachers knew not to bother me till fifth period. Now the sun was coming in bright and hot through the glass doors and I kept putting my hand up like it was to block the light, but also I was embarrassed. It was taking forever to hear my name. I was thinking maybe it wasn’t coming and they had me out there for nothing. And when Deshawn got Most Acrobatic I didn’t know why I even wanted anything to start with.

Mama was all teeth next to me, laughing under her breath and cooing at my baby sister. Racey was in a white onesie with race cars on it, doing somersaults in Mama’s hands. I for sure didn’t want Mama to come

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