It's Not Who You Know, It's How You Treat Them: Five SocialSmarts Secrets Today's Business Leaders Need to Stand Out and Be Successful
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About this ebook
Have you wondered why some people seem to have the "magic" connecting with others in business while others just seem to struggle?
Do you know how the challenges in today's business environment affect your ability to build, nurture and develop lasting connections with staff, employees, vendors and customers? Would you like to know Five Secrets that can really make a difference for you and those you work with?
Now Corinne Gregory, leading authority on social skills, character and winning personal development, removes the mystery in It's Not Who You Know, It's How You Treat Them: Five SocialSmarts Secrets Today's Business Leaders Need to Stand Out and be Successful and shows you how to increase YOUR "social capital" to gain greater success.
Some of what you'll learn in this book are:
* It's all about Attitude: Cultivating the Power of Respect.
* Perception IS Reality: Making a Winning First Impression.
* Turning "What's in it for ME?" into "What's in it for US?
* Five Simple Ways to Make Lasting Connections.
* Showing Appreciation as a valuable tool.
And, as a bonus, we'll show you how to survive some common Business-Social Situations including some tricks for starting and developing conversations.
Available and shipping NOW, you can get a copy this book and unlock the skills you need to achieve more, build better relationships with customers, vendors, employees and anyone in your business circle.
Corinne Gregory
Corinne Gregory is an award-winning educator, author, speaker, advisor, and spokesperson on education, business and family-development topics. She's also the President and Founder of SocialSmarts®, a nationally-recognized program for developing strong social skills, positive character and values in children and adults. She is frequently called upon as an expert on social skills and character when daily events warrant. Her media appearances include The Today Show, CNN, Good Morning America, Time Magazine, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Parents Magazine, and more.
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Book preview
It's Not Who You Know, It's How You Treat Them - Corinne Gregory
* * *
"It’s Not Who You Know, It’s How You Treat Them:
Five SocialSmarts® Secrets Today’s Business Leaders Need to Stand Out and be Successful"
Corinne Gregory
It’s Not Who You Know, It’s How You Treat Them: Five SocialSmarts® Secrets Today’s Business Leaders Need to Stand Out and be Successful
Copyright Corinne Gregory 2010
Published at Smashwords
* * *
Smashwords License Statement
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN: 9780-9827981-0-2
Warning: Disclaimer
The purpose of this book is to educate and entertain. The author or publisher does not guarantee that anyone following the techniques, suggestions, tips, ideas, or strategies will become successful. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to anyone with respect to any loss or damage cause, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.
* * *
Dedication and Acknowledgements
To James Malinchak – From whom I learned the valuable acronym GSDF
(Get Stuff Done Fast) as well as so many other things I take to heart
To Craig Duswalt – Without whom this book wouldn’t have gotten done fast
– Rockstars doing EVERYTHING fast! Really FAST.
To my family – Jay, Alana, Alexis, Regan – Truly you all are the source of my inspiration and for whom I do all that I do. Thanks for believing…
To my mother, Eva – Who instilled in me my earliest SocialSmarts
"It’s Not Who You Know, It’s How You Treat Them:
Five SocialSmarts® Secrets Today’s Business Leaders Need to Stand Out and be Successful"
* * *
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter One We Do Business With People, Not Entities
Chapter Two Why Socialsmarts® For Success?
Chapter Three Secret 1: It’s All About Attitude: Harnessing The Power Of Respect
Chapter Four Secret #2: Turning What’s In It For Me?
Into What’s In It For Us?
Chapter Five Secret #3: Perception Is Reality:Making A Winning First Impression
Chapter Six Secret #4: Six Simple Ways To Build Lasting Connections
Chapter Seven Secret #5: You Can Never Say Thank You Too Early Or Too Often
Chapter Eight Bonus: Surviving Common Business-Social Situations
Chapter Nine Going Beyond The Basics
Corinne Gregory’s Speaking Topics
* * *
Introduction
Have you ever wondered why some seem to have the magic
of being able to connect with people in business, while others just seem to struggle? It truly seems sometimes as though some people have it,
while some people simply don’t. And, what is it
anyhow?
Well, the it
is what this book is all about. It
is the most significant differentiator businesspeople can have in today’s challenging business environment. It
has become a lost art in too many cases, something that has gone by the wayside. Truly effective leaders make powerful use of it.
You’ll find it tough to become a leader these days without it.
Our term for this powerful secret weapon? SocialSmarts.
SocialSmarts refers to the collection of social skills, character traits and abilities you need to effectively build, nurture, and develop lasting connections with staff, employees, vendors, and customers. In today’s business environment, where so much emphasis and energy is spent on individual progress and achievement, the business person who takes a different approach in his or her business dealings is certain to be noticed. This is true particularly when that approach is one that is less self-centered and self-absorbed than what appears to be the societal norm.
This book was created to share with you those SocialSmarts that you need to think, act, and be different than the rude, crude, and ego-centric mainstream. By learning and employing the Five SocialSmarts Secrets recommended in the coming chapters, you’re likely to find that you’ll achieve more of what you want, more easily and with less stress, and get a lot less of what you don’t want.
But SocialSmarts isn’t a one-time shot or silver bullet. You can’t just put this book under your pillow and hope to absorb its lessons. So, in addition to explaining the underlying foundations and concepts you’ll want to learn, I’ve also added some quick takeaways
you should put into practice right away. They’re called Take 5,
because they really should take you only a few minutes to put into use. They will help you immediately start seeing some changes based on action, not just theory.
I hope you benefit strongly from the information contained in this book. If you take it to heart and use the lessons and concepts presented, it will change the way you do business. It might even change your life by showing you a more inclusive, civilized way of doing things. You see, SocialSmarts aren’t just for business…they’re who we are and what we are, no matter what else we might be doing.
* * *
CHAPTER ONE
WE DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE, NOT ENTITIES
The good old days
are often spoken of as a time when life was simple and we all took care of, and respected, each other. Of course, we know that those times were somewhat exaggerated. The days of Ozzie and Harriett lifestyles were more myth than factual. However, there was a time when people assumed the best of each other and didn’t require lengthy legal contracts just to keep each other honest.
Business was done on a handshake. A person’s word
was their bond.
The US Constitution, including the Bill of Rights, fits neatly on only six pages – in large letters! The document which forms the foundation on which our entire country is built, including how our government would deal with its new citizens, and how that government would be expected to run the country, took fewer pages than what today would be required for purchasing a home appliance on credit. Times have changed.
One hundred years ago, you could go to the local General Store, get what you needed for your farm, and pay for it at the end of the month, or maybe the following month. Perhaps you would trade some of your farm output to settle your bill. We all had a sense of being in it together.
We looked out for each other. Now we have become an in it for ourselves
society.
Fast-forward to 2010. Our communiqués are flying literally at the speed of light, across vast oceans to the four points of the globe. The recipients can be in any time zone and even in places other than where we normally expect them to be. Our culture truly has become one of business without borders,
anytime, anywhere.
Yet, with whom do we usually transact that business? Not with interchangeable worker-droids, although much of today’s commerce seems to be done this way. Truly effective business is still done with people we connect with. People we trust. People with whom we have developed a relationship.
Think about it: when someone we have worked with leaves one company to join another, how often do we try to find out where they went? We will often move our business dealings to maintain the business relationship with our contact. If we’ve developed a good bond with an individual, aren’t we more likely to follow that individual to their next company, instead of simply seeking a replacement liaison at the original company? Once we’ve made the connection, we’d rather change companies than change the people we have grown accustomed to working with. Changing people relationships takes us out of our comfort zone. We don’t know what to expect when we change the people with whom we do business.
People have been trained to be distrustful of each other. This can change! It starts with re-learning how to deal with people on a one-to-one basis. We may not get back to the good old days
of the handshake contract or the running account at the General Store, but we can get back to an age of civility.
Modern Business Practices And Technology Causes Distance, Not Relationships
Generally, we believe that technology has enhanced our ability to do business. As long as you consider business a transaction
– an event or arrangement – this is probably true. We can do transactions
all day on the Internet, through email, and using online service providers. But if we need help – to answer a question, fix a problem, confirm an action – we prefer a person.
Dealing with machines or nameless, faceless entities can be irritating. Which do you prefer: wading through 27 levels of company auto-attendants on their phone system, or waiting five or ten minutes to talk to an agent who can answer not only your specific question, but also any other question that may come up during the conversation? We generally feel greater comfort dealing with a person than with a machine, regardless of how fancy it may be.
Yet technology has not always been our friend when it comes to dealing with people. We’ve become accustomed to the anonymity of interacting with people we’ve never met. It’s becoming harder to make and keep real connections. We rarely get the chance to learn much about the person on the other end of the keyboard, other than their email address and phone number.
It’s frequently strange when we