The Focus on the Family Women's Ministry Guide (Focus on the Family Women's Series)

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Section One

PREPARING FOR MINISTRY

Chapter One

Developing Your Own Relationship with the Lord

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

MARK 12:30

Women’s ministry is exciting. There are women in every church who long for friendship, fellowship and spiritual growth. What a privilege it is to be part of a team that is helping women grow in Christ and become all that God made them to be.

The idea of women’s ministry, or women ministering to women, has been around for thousands of years, as seen in Titus 2. In the everyday realities of life helping women live for Christ is becoming more and more essential in the ministry of the local church.

However, Christian service and ministry have a prerequisite—a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This relationship is not a one-time-only event that takes place when we accept salvation but an ongoing, maturing relationship with the God who made us. Without this intimate connection to the Father, we can do nothing of eternal or lasting significance. But when we connect with Him, all things are possible in and through our very ordinary lives! Jesus speaks to His disciples about the importance of this connection in John 15. Christian ministry isn’t about perfection but connection. It is through God’s power that ordinary women, with ordinary circumstances and ordinary problems, can be used for eternal purposes in His extraordinary plan.

Though ministry leaders agree that the importance of connecting with God is paramount, the busyness of life can often stifle our personal relationship with Christ and cause us to try to do things on our own and for our own purposes. Does that sound strange? Well, think about it. When we keep ourselves busy with things—even good things—our focus becomes that with which we are busy, not Jesus. It’s easy to disconnect spiritually, even when we continue to serve consistently. Women’s ministry is filled with details and activities, so it’s easy to lose perspective. That’s why we have to make sure our priorities are clear.

A LEADER’S CONNECTION

Connection is the joining of two things or the coming together of two or more people in relationship. The primary focus of a women’s ministry is to provide a way for women to connect with Jesus Christ in a personal, life-changing relationship. For that to happen effectively, it must begin with the leadership. You cannot lead women somewhere you have not been. Again, this is not about activity or perfection but relationship. How can you introduce women to a relationship with Jesus if you only know Him in theory and works-based activities?

A love relationship with Jesus is not just an option for women serving other women—it is a crucial element of our walk with Christ. This is evident in the words of Christ in Revelation 2:2-5:

I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.

Our First Love

All love relationships need to be nurtured. When we neglect our relationship with Christ, we aren’t putting Him first in our life (see Matthew 6:33). How do we neglect our relationship with Him?

By placing the emphasis on our external life rather than on our interior life (see 1 Samuel 16:7; Galatians 2:6).

By putting other people before God and living as people pleasers (see Galatians 1:10).

By not praying for the ministry in which we’re involved (see James 5:13-18).

By not worshiping and walking in Spirit and truth ourselves as we teach others to do so (see John 4:24).

The following personal inventory can be used by you and the other members of the women’s ministry leadership team to take stock of your relationship with God at this time. It would be good to review it periodically throughout the year as you minister to others.

YOUR PERSONAL INVENTORY

First love—priority love—means giving God first place in your life.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how does your relationship with God rank? (Note: Not where a ministry position ranks in your life, but your personal relationship with Jesus.)

How would you describe your present relationship with Christ?

Do you feel equipped to be God’s vessel and to surrender all aspects of your leadership to the One who made you? If not, what do you need to do to be more prepared?

In Psalm 139:3, we see clearly that God established a relationship with David: You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. In the same way, God is familiar with us.

In Psalm 139:23-24, David asked God to search him and to know him. David trusted God to search the deepest part of him, exposing anything that would be unhealthy to his spiritual growth. Like David, we also can have this type of relationship with God. It is a personal interaction that is not dependent on another’s actions, approval or faith. It is our own personal relationship and experience with God. It is this relationship that brings glory to God.

A Daily Connection

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 outlines some directives that will help us connect with God everyday.

Choose life (v. 19). Start each day by choosing Him (see also Joshua 24:15; Matthew 6:33).

Love the LORD your God (v. 20). Love Him through active obedience (see also John 14:15, 24; 15:10; 1 John 2:3-6).

Listen to his voice (v. 20). Develop the habit of listening to God’s voice through His Word (see also John 10:2-4; 1 Corinthians 2:14-15; Ephesians 6:17).

Hold fast to him (v. 20). Clasp your heart around the Father’s heart each day (see also Hebrews 10:35-39, 11:6, 12:1-3).

A Broken Connection

If your connection with God feels broken and you need to return to your first love, the following steps may help you to reconnect with Him:

Confess your sins. Agree with God’s Word and release areas of disobedience in your life (see 1 John 1:8-10).

Return to Him. Make a conscious decision and an active step to follow Him (see James 4:7-10).

Acknowledge Him. Turn away from human wisdom and toward God’s wisdom (see Proverbs 3:5-7).

Praise Him. Praise God in all things because in doing so you will catch a glimpse of His perspective, understand His power and acknowledge His divine plan (see 1 Thessalonians 5:18).

The Fruit of Connection

When Jesus manifests His power through us, that brings glory to God. The results of remaining in Christ are

We show ourselves to be His own (see John 15:5).

He will answer our prayers (see John 15:7, 16).

We bear much fruit (see John 15:8).

We bring glory to the Father (see John 15:8).

He appoints us to bear lasting fruit as His disciples (see John 15:16).

According to the Oxford American Dictionary, remain means to continue without change; to stay after the removal or loss of others; to be left as still to be dealt with; to endure/persist.¹ To remain in Christ is serious business! We must pray for understanding and strength to continue in our relationship with Him.

The following three guidelines—the three Rs—will assist you in keeping the right perspective on what things must come first.²

1. Remain

How do we remain in His love? This is the key to living each day in personal relationship with the Father. We must make a conscious choice each day to stay in close fellowship with Him.

2. Renew

Romans 12:2 says Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Our minds should be renewed with the words of truth found in the Bible.

3. Rest

Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. According to Philippians, peace is rest!

Whenever we feel out of sorts we can use the three Rs as a check system.

Am I remaining today? Have I connected in Christ and stayed connected?

Have I been renewed today? Have I read and meditated on His Word today?

Am I resting today? Have I prayed and turned my life and my circumstances over to God?

Often one of the Rs may be missing from our life—sometimes all of them. At that point, we need to go back to the Lord and reconnect with Him. Life boils down to one thing: a connection with God through relationship with Christ.

Before any women’s ministry can be effective or bear lasting fruit, the leadership must be connected with Christ and His power. This must be the first stop, the checkpoint and the foundation for the ministry. When we put first things first, our priority becomes a love relationship of dependence on Christ and His purposes.

Notes

1. Oxford American Dictionary, s.v. remain.

2. Debbie Alsdorf, Steadfast Love (Colorado Springs, CO: Cook Communications, 2000), p. 39.

Chapter Two

Discovering the Joy of Serving

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

JOHN 13:14-15

Wash another person’s feet? Sorry, but that sounds like really dirty work—not the joy of service! Yet in discovering the joy of serving others, we can find true, lasting joy and a sense of completeness.

In our selfish culture we have forgotten the beauty of serving others. It’s important to understand that a very real joy can be found when we serve others, a joy that is promised by Christ Himself (see John 15:9-12).

Jesus set an example for His disciples by washing their dirty feet (see John 13:14-17). Then He told them the importance of staying connected to God for power and purpose in life. Finally, He told them that all His instructions had one purpose: That His joy would be made complete in them.

Do you long for that complete joy? We all long for joy and peace, but we usually try to obtain them the wrong way. When we serve women, we have the opportunity to bless others while sharing the joy of Jesus that is in our hearts. It’s a win-win situation.

Sometimes, we just don’t realize how much impact the little things can make in another’s life. Read Diane’s story.

Diane had a full plate. Recently, she moved to a new state; her support system of friends was a few thousand miles away; and her responsibilities included a full-time job, a husband, three teenaged children and an elderly mother to care for.

Just six months after moving to the new community, Diane’s mom got sick. While she was in the hospital, Diane found her life getting much more hectic with lunch-hour check-ins and after-dinner visits to the hospital. She felt alone, tired and out of sorts.

Then one afternoon as she exited the hospital elevator, she heard laughing and chatting near her mother’s room. As she rounded the corner, she realized that the laughing was actually coming from her mother’s room! Her family had no personal connections in the new town. What could this be?

To her surprise, she walked into a room filled with flowers, balloons and other women. Five women from Diane’s new church heard of her family’s need and took over the room, baptizing every part of it with love. Just because they didn’t know Diane or her mother didn’t stop these women from extending love to them. The blessing of the moment brought tears to Diane’s eyes.

From that point on, these women made noontime visits each day so that Diane could take a restful lunch hour and have some time alone. When Diane’s mother returned home from the hospital, these women brought in meals for the first week, as Diane was busy trying to figure out her mother’s new medications and all the adjustments required for her mother’s care.¹

These ordinary women knew the joy of serving others. In a very real way, they were washing feet in that hospital room and in the weeks that followed. Diane and her family never felt like strangers at church again. The service and love of five ordinary women made a tangible difference in the lives of Diane and her family.

HOW CAN I SERVE?

The first step in engaging in service is to recognize that it is part of God’s plan for His people. Service is truly a God-inspired principle for living.

Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:26-28).

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does (Ephesians 6:7-8).

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving (Colossians 3:23-24).

WHY SERVE?

The word serve represents action, not inactivity. To serve means, "to work and care for, to attend, do for, minister