Celebrity Sadhana: Or How to Meditate With a Hammer
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Celebrity Sadhana - Vijay R. Nathan
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Please note although the author has drawn from celebrity news stories, internet chatter and online searches about celebrities, and references actual movies and celebrity biographies, all these are used fictitiously and with the intention of satirizing and meditating on our collective cultural fascination with fame.
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© Vijay Ramanathan 2018
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
ISBN (Print Edition): 978-1-54394-438-9
ISBN (eBook Edition): 978-1-54394-439-6
Contents
I
PATHWAYS TO THE BREEZE
The celebrity sadhana you can’t miss
That special kind of crazy
Natalie Portman recites ‘he will not divide us’
They walk the line
Joaquin Phoenix receives an amber alert
A cool breeze over the mountains
The supernova seduction plan
A Shia Labeouf dream
Jodie Foster & Sacha Baron Cohen consume incredible edibles
Buddha Tara emanates to Joaquin Phoenix
II
THE VEIL BETWEEN
The celebrity renunciation you won’t believe
Sacha Baron Cohen on the rocks
A Joaquin Phoenix dream
The many faces of Winona Ryder
Sacha Baron Cohen Performs as Divine Madman Drukpa Kunley
Joaquin Phoenix searches for ‘Satori’
A Winona Ryder Dream
The divine madman returns
Natalie Portman listens to Tori Amos
Somewhere in the Mojave
Shia Labeouf listens to Radiohead
III
HOW TO MEDITATE WITH A HAMMER
The Celebrity Confrontation That Will Shock You
Somewhere in the Mojave
The Natalie Portman body poem
Somewhere in the Mojave
Flowers on the wall
Glimpses of Winona Ryder’s ass
The hammer speaks
Jodie Foster in the rye
Shia Labeouf feeds stray dogs
I
PATHWAYS TO THE BREEZE
"In many of the [Buddhist] scriptures it says that all phenomena are like