Happiness is a Funny Business: A practical guide to help you achieve a sense of happiness
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Happiness is a Funny Business - Antonio Castillo de la Gala
Copyright © 2019 by Antonio Castillo de la Gala All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2019
Print ISBN: 978-1-54399-650-0
eBook ISBN: 978-1-54399-651-7
This book is dedicated to my family, friends, acquaintances and the thousands of persons who listened and still listen to my talks about happiness.
A very special dedication to my Grandmother Elena Porragas de Rodriguez de la Gala, my Grandfather Francisco Rodriguez de la Gala Guerrero, my Mother Maria Elena Rodriguez de la Gala de Castillo, my Father Antonio Castillo Azueta, my Brother Francisco Castillo de la Gala and my Brother Jorge Castillo de la Gala. They are all gone from this world and I miss them very much but they truly live in my heart. Thank God, my Brother Javier Castillo de la Gala is still with us. All of them helped me, at different times, to become the man that I am today.
Last, but not least, my son, Antonio Castillo, III, which is my pride and joy. My latest source of incredible happiness are my two grandchildren, Antonio Castillo, IV and his brother Alexander Castillo.
Table of Contents
Foreword
PROLOGUE: Why I Wrote This Book
CHAPTER I - Does Everybody Want to Be Happy?
CHAPTER II - Gratitude
CHAPTER III - Love and Family
CHAPTER IV - Inconveniences
CHAPTER V - Perspective
CHAPTER VI - Cell Phones
CHAPTER VII - Here Comes Santa Claus
CHAPTER VIII - Don’t Rain on My Parade
CHAPTER IX - Calisthenics for Your Mind
CHAPTER X - Not Tonight, Dear...
CHAPTER XI - Have You Ever Sung a Song on a Public Bus?
CHAPTER XII - Race: Check the Appropriate Box
CHAPTER XIII - Play It Again, Sam
CHAPTER XIV - Christmastime…and Other Times Too
CHAPTER XV - Caressing
CHAPTER XVI - Time Flies When You’re Having Fun or Time’s Fun When You’re Having Flies
CHAPTER XVII - Tennis, Chess, and Old Age
CHAPTER XVIII - Where there is music, there can be no evil.
— Cervantes, Don Quixote
CHAPTER XIX - T.G.I.F.? More Like T.G.I.T.
CHAPTER XX - The Genie in the Bottle (Carpe Diem!)
CHAPTER XXI - No Mexicans on TV!
CHAPTER XXII - A Beggar with a Stick
CHAPTER XXIII - Les Misérables
CHAPTER XXIV - Peccatum Minuta
CHAPTER XXV - From Veracruz to the Beverly Hills Hotel
CHAPTER XXVI - Motivation and the Next Mountain
CHAPTER XXVII - How Do I Get to Hollywood?
CHAPTER XXVIII - Giving Is Happiness: A Christmas Story and Other Tales of Kindness
CHAPTER XXIX - To Date or Not to Date…
CHAPTER XXX - Silence Is Golden
CHAPTER XXXI - Happy Holidays and All That Jazz
EPILOGUE: Some Closing Thoughts on This Business of Happiness
Endorsements
Foreword
Dear Antonio,
I love your book! Not only is it full of fun, engaging stories about your amazing life journey...it’s also full of wisdom.
Your chapter on Gratitude is my favorite. (You might recall that Gratitude is the first of the magical words
in my book The Wisdom of Merlin.)
Well done, my friend. You have come a very long way from that little fellow called Chopincito
! And you’ve earned every bit of your great success. Now you are passing on to others your ideas about how to find happiness — which makes this book both enjoyable and important.
All best wishes,
T.A. Barron
Author of The Merlin Saga,
an international best-selling series
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
John Heywood
PROLOGUE:
Why I Wrote This Book
After spending so many years giving advice and sharing my ideas about happiness with relatives, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and almost anyone who would start a conversation with me, I felt it might be fun and worthwhile to put my perspective in writing. That way, my ideas could be more widely accessible to a greater diversity of individuals. In other words, I thought that maybe a book could allow me to reach even more people and help them find happiness. Also, this book is a testament to my philosophical thoughts.
Some time ago, friends began to tell me things like: You know, Antonio, I find it hard to believe that you are consistently in such a good mood — you’re always so cheerful and you express a nonstop positive attitude.
Some began to wonder whether I was full of it,
or perhaps even more surprisingly, whether I might be for real.
You see, more than 30 years ago I made a life-transforming decision: I chose to embrace and build my now-well-known positive attitude. From that important moment forward, I have noticed many remarkable benefits. As a pianist who always values the next gig, I’ve been able to honor all the performance engagements I’ve been given the opportunity to fulfill throughout my five-decade career (knock on wood). And beyond my annual physical exam to reconfirm my good health, I have had little need to see a doctor in my many years (knock on wood again — harder!). Each day that I am given to live and breathe on this earth seems like a precious present to me. I am filled daily with a sense of joy and bewilderment and I appreciate the wonders of everyday life from the moment I wake up each morning to the moment I close my eyes to drift off to sleep at night.
To achieve this state of mind, spirit, and body that my family (with one exception) and friends have come to admire, I needed to make some changes in the way I looked at my life. I was not born seeing life through rose-colored glasses; I made a conscious decision, just as life offers each one of us choices every day. I realized that each day can either be a struggle just to get through or a joy to experience. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that I chose the latter.
By following just a few disciplined daily principles and practices, you too can discover the capacity to truly transform your life. I know this to be true, because it happened within me, and others have noticed the positive difference. And I have proven (through my scientific experiment
of one) that the joy of living is sustainable…even after more than 30 years.
The principles and practices I follow on a daily basis work, and they are quite easy to implement. Ultimately, a content and joyful state of being, simply requires the discipline and commitment to be happy. Believe it or not, the inner transformation begins right then and there, just by repeating to yourself the simple phrase I want to be happy
— and meaning it.
Antonio Who?
I was born in Veracruz, Mexico, to a beautiful family, including my mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, and my three brothers, Francisco, (RIP) Javier, and Jorge (RIP). We were not well-off by American standards — we had no television at home and only occasionally did we have access to a telephone. Our prized possession was a half-broken "ortofonico," an archaic-sounding word that my grandmother coined to reference our very old record player, which had a charming crank at its side and on which my grandfather would play both classical and opera recordings from his now-collectible records…well, I’m sure they would be collector’s items if my brothers and I had not come up with the brilliant idea to use them for target practice with our BB guns and slingers!
I can now see, with the benefit of hindsight, that it was precisely our lack of TVs, phones, and certainly Internet access that led my brothers and I to become so much closer to our parents and to each other than if we had had such distracting, though world-expanding, resources. I believe that our bond with one another was far stronger than many children today enjoy with their parents and siblings, judging from my limited observations. To this day, I treasure the fact that we built a community and everlasting connection to one another through our shared passion for music, books, conversation, and, above all, family.
When I think of my childhood home, my very first memory is of the baby grand piano that graced our living room. It was a beautiful black Knabe that had brought music into my family’s hearts since my grandmother was a child. I think that piano had been in our family since the late 1800’s! My lifelong passion for the music which, in my view, the piano alone can uniquely evoke, began at the young age of three. In fact, I gave my first performance in kindergarten, or the Jardin de niños #1. Amazingly, I still can remember what I played for my audience of five-year-old peers, their parents and our teachers. It was an old Mexican song, "El Gavilán Pollero (
The Chicken-Hunting Hawk").
My grandmother, Elena Porragas de Rodriguez de la Gala, who was my first piano teacher and an endless source of musical inspiration, had a spirited sense of humor, which I am blessed to have inherited
from her. It was through her joking around with everyone, that we understood ourselves to be truly loved for exactly who we were, and it was through her love, that we sought early on to become our best selves in the process of growing up. In her honor, I have tried to infuse my music with a light-hearted sense of joy, balanced by the profound impact that sublime melodies and arrangements can inspire in sensitive souls. So, I suppose the seeds of my happy approach to life were first sown by my grandmother, who had a great influence over me.
After completing high school in Veracruz, I moved to Mexico City to study at the National Conservatory of Music, where I graduated as a concert pianist with the highest degree they conferred — the equivalent of a Ph.D. in the United States.
I guess there are moments in each of our lives when we have to actively decide to try to advance and grow. For me, this was one such moment. I felt that I was not growing as an artist and that my career was going nowhere in Mexico. After pursuing a career as a concert pianist for several years as well as performing in a band I had formed along with my brothers, I made one of the most momentous decisions of my life, I decided to move to the United States of America.
America has provided me with so many unbelievable opportunities and blessings that it would be impossible to name them all. We truly live in the land of opportunity. Believe me when I tell you it is not a mere coincidence that this land is the birthplace of my philosophy of happiness and my disciplined attempt to make every day genuinely count.
CHAPTER I
Does Everybody Want to Be Happy?
Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
— Ambrose Bierce
A couple of times, people have asked me What is happiness to you?
I understand that most people probably don’t need to define that feeling, as they likely feel either happy or unhappy. I always tell them, that happiness, in a nutshell, is the feeling of being satisfied, full of positive emotions, having joy in my heart and peace in my soul, and of being fully aware that I have never intentionally harmed another person in my life. I have an almost complete absence of negative thoughts and emotions and very little stress. As a matter of fact, a few years ago, I took a stress test along with a lot of people working at a hotel where I was performing. I did it just for the fun of it. The person conducting the evaluation told me that he had never seen such a low score in the stress results. I wasn’t surprised. I am filled with calm and the never-ending belief that everything is going to be OK.
The first time I read the Ambrose Bierce quote above, I thought, What a curmudgeon.
But sometimes I wonder if Mr. Bierce had a point. Let me tell you about Mr. and Mrs. Curmudgeon.
For 11 years, I played the piano five days a week from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. at Macy’s Plaza in downtown Los Angeles. Playing there for all those years, as well as in many concert halls, hotels, restaurants, shows and private homes, and talking to probably thousands of people around my piano, has been, and remains, a great joy. My experiences have given me an exceptional understanding of human nature by observing the varying philosophical approaches to life of countless people from so many different backgrounds. Say what you will about Los Angeles, but it is certainly filled with interesting people!
In my opinion, Los Angeles is a city that has one of the best climates in the world. Only every so often, a little — and very welcome — rain falls here, clearing the air and making everything smell fresh again. I mention this because it caused me to notice something, that I thought was strange. Sometimes on those rainy days, people would walk up to my piano and, before even saying hello, begin saying how much they hated the rain, and how depressing it was for them.
For a while, I tried to explain to those people that in a place like Los Angeles, where it doesn’t happen very often, rain provides welcome relief and a refreshing change of atmosphere. But there was simply no reaching most of them. Some people will hate the rain even if it is as sporadic as it is in L.A. Remarkably, I noticed similar behavior during the nearly perennial sunny days. There was always someone in the crowd who would say something like, I always hate these sunny days; why can’t we have some rain?
Actually, for all I know, some of those people could have been the very same complainers I mentioned before!
You get the point. To some people, the glass will always be half empty. To me, it’s always half full. For instance, I think that the sound of rain falling outside can make playing Chopin even more poetic. The rain makes my mood more nostalgic and it provides a lovely background to the music.
If it is sunny, the weather is perfect for a game of tennis. If it’s cold, somehow my mind goes to my favorite time of the year, Christmas. It’s all about perspective.
Speaking of Christmas, every year, as soon as the malls put up the decorations, I hear more curmudgeons. They say things like I don’t like this time of year
and Can you play something other than those silly songs?
I have heard these complaints every year at my piano, even though I only play Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas day. Well, to be honest, I play Christmas carols until January 7th. In Mexico, as in many countries all over the world, January 6th is the day when children get their Christmas presents. In Egypt, Georgia, Russia, Serbia and