Living Rightside Up: Flipping the Script of Your Story

CHURCH

Section 1

FLIPPING THE SCRIPT OF YOUR STORY

EVERY DAY, FROM the instant we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, we’re bombarded by voices telling us who we need to be, how we need to look, why we need to change, and what we need to do better. Glamorous models with impossibly perfect bodies plastered across the covers of glossy magazines in the grocery aisle, blogs about the latest and greatest weight-loss tricks, Pinterest pins, reality TV shows, Instagram pics, romantic comedies on the big screen, Facebook posts, self-help books—they all seductively whisper to women one message: This is what your story should look like.

It’s time to shut down the voices. It’s time to start swimming against the current. It’s time to flip the script. It’s time to start living life rightside up.

You can stop trying to live out the story others are trying to get you to write. Living Rightside Up strips away the counterfeit lies we’ve bought into and gets to the heart of the issue—God is the only qualified author to write your story. And you are the pen and ink He’s using to compose the words of a beautiful and epic poem that began the moment you drew your first breath.

In this book we expose some of the most destructive lies assaulting women today and challenge you to start seeing yourself the way God sees you. We show you practical ways to:

• Align your thoughts with God’s thoughts

• Live guilt free

• Tap into the power of choice

• Rise above adversities

• Successfully resolve conflict

• Grow in seasons of waiting

• Develop a proper perspective

• Overcome the comparison trap

• And much more!

College student, career woman, stay-at-home mom, retiree, empty nester—regardless of what stage you are in life, it is never too late to flip the script of your story and start to truly live as the courageous, free, confident, exquisitely unique daughter of God He designed you to be!

Introduction

BEFORE WE BEGIN . . .

Debbie Morris

Child, said the Lion, I am telling you your story, not hers. No one is told any story but their own.¹

C. S. LEWIS

LIVING RIGHTSIDE UP is all about rewriting. No, not rewriting some high school essay, but rewriting the script of your life. Before you were ever conceived in your mother’s womb, you were loved . . . even if the situations of your life haven’t conveyed this message. God has loved you. He has been pursuing your heart and attention. He is and has been attentive to you. And the truth is, He is keenly aware of every detail in your life (even down to the exact number of hairs you color and pretend are natural).

But even after we accept that God has a plan for us and we embrace His gracious invitation to be His child, we often see weaknesses in ourselves that taunt us and seek to rob us of the joy God intended us to walk in.

The truth is, everything we think about ourselves is not the truth. None of us see ourselves the way God sees us. We all need to be reminded that we’re so much more than what we see in the mirror.

The reason it’s so important for you to grasp this truth is because you are writing a manuscript with your life that’s more than a history book, more than a self-help book, more than a secret diary (in fact, it’s actually being read publicly by everyone you meet). It is an incredible love story.

Living Rightside Up is about reorienting ourselves. When my husband, Robert, and I first moved to the Dallas/Fort Worth area as newlyweds, we didn’t have many friends. So when we were invited to dinner at the home of a couple we’d recently become friends with, we were beyond excited.

The other woman and I talked on the phone and arranged a date and time for our dinner. Then she proceeded to give me directions. Although I’m usually pretty good with directions, she began rattling instructions on how to get around her native hometown so quickly that my hand had a hard time keeping up. (This was light-years before we had maps on our smart-phones.) I thought I understood all the directions at the time, but the evening of our dinner proved me wrong. Robert and I got in the car with my hastily scribbled directions . . . which only got us to the third turn.

Frustration escalated between us as we tried to decipher my map. Admitting we couldn’t get to where we needed to go with the instructions we had, Robert was forced to do what no man ever wants to do. He had to find a pay phone (yes, this all happened even before mobile devices were around) and call for more accurate and detailed directions.

This is how so many women I know feel. We know God has a plan for us and know a few of the steps we need to take to accomplish that plan, but we still find ourselves so often frustrated. But this is what we’ve learned: we have to consciously stop each day and ask the One who knows the way what He has planned for our individual stories.

I invite you to join me and several of my good friends on an honest and vulnerable journey as we expose some of the most destructive lies assaulting women today and challenge you (along with ourselves) to start seeing yourself the way God sees you.

Over the next several chapters we want to unpack some highly effective, real-world principles that are rooted in God’s Word, so you can start living out your story as the courageous, free, confident, exquisitely unique daughter of God He designed you to be!

My desire is to encourage, inspire, and give you practical tools so you’ll learn how to stop listening to the voices surrounding you and start swimming against the current. This is why I asked seven of my good friends to come alongside me and share some of the life-changing truths the Holy Spirit has been speaking to our hearts.

Day in and day out these seven women work alongside me, live life with me, do ministry with me, and help me lead Pink, the women’s ministry of Gateway Church. These amazing ladies lead groups, oversee events, and plan massive conferences while conveying my heart and executing our shared vision not only for the women of Gateway but also for women around the world. And collectively my friends and I have learned lessons—by studying God’s Word, by living through our own painful experiences, and by receiving sweet revelations from the Holy Spirit—that we believe will assist you in reaching your destination of living out your God-given dreams. Our hope is that these lessons we’ve learned along the way and are going to share with you in this book will be road signs that help you turn your upside down rightside up.

Just so you know exactly what you’re getting with this book, I want to explain the format up front. It’s not often you’ll find a book with eight different contributors collaborating together, and that’s what makes Living Rightside Up so unique. Each author is distinct in her clothing and communication style, age, and background, as well as her perspective and life experience. We hope that each unique chapter resonates in your heart.

In the pages to come you’ll read stories and life lessons from myself and seven other wonderful, godly ladies. I start off the book with the first five chapters. In these opening chapters I’m going to lay the foundation for the rest of the book, because I so deeply believe that our identity determines our destiny. In other words, you and I have to first understand who God has created us to be before we can walk in the fullness of His calling.

After we’ve laid that foundation together, I’ll introduce each new topic and share a little bit about my friendship with the author of that section. Some sections have one chapter; other sections may have three, four, or even five chapters. Each chapter starts off with a quote related to the message of that particular chapter. But just because we include a quote from someone doesn’t mean we’re endorsing that woman or man. We believe truth is truth, regardless of who gives it voice. We know God can use anyone or anything to be the mouthpiece for His truth.

You’ll probably notice that most of the chapters are fairly short. We intentionally wrote this book that way, because we wanted to give you the chance to absorb the truths in easily digestible and readily applicable nuggets.

We hope you enjoy going on this journey with us! But before we begin, may I ask you to do something? Will you pray a prayer with me right now?

Dear Father, I ask You to open my heart as I read these words. Show me whatever it is that You want to show me through the pages of this book. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

Let me ask you to consider doing one more thing. More than anything, we want you to hear what the Holy Spirit is speaking to you through the words we’ve written. What He has to say is far more important than what we have to say.

So as you finish reading each chapter, I encourage you to set the book aside for a few minutes and ask the Holy Spirit what He wants to say to you about what you’ve just read. And then wait and listen for His voice.

If you’re willing to do that, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you’re going to be blessed by this book as the Holy Spirit reveals His truths to you. Now, I invite you to join me as we begin our journey.

Chapter One

BLANK PAGE

Debbie Morris

Tomorrow is a blank page in the story of your life. Decide tonight how you will make it worth reading.¹

KAREN KINGSBURY

CAN YOU SEE yourself sitting down with a blank canvas of white paper before you as you prepare to pen your story? Like it or not, you are writing your story. And whether it’s a masterpiece hinges on your decision to either do it with the help of the Master or do it yourself.

I like to imagine myself writing in a bungalow with expansive windows overlooking waves pounding on windswept mounds of white sand. I personally prefer to write on a computer, not because I’m super tech savvy, but simply because of all the auto-correct tools. But this isn’t all about me; it’s about you and your masterpiece. You can choose to use a pen or pencil if you prefer, and you get to decide what setting you’d like to be in.

Not that any of those details really matter for any of us. The story you are writing with your life is already in progress. It began before you were aware that you were scripting a manuscript, and each day you have a blank page in front of you.

Oh, the adventures you’ll have, the mountains you’ll climb, the victories you’ll win, the obstacles you’ll overcome, the fun you’ll have, and the friends you’ll meet. But I should warn you: it won’t always be easy because there is an enemy who is determined to destroy you, people who oppose you, and an unfair playing field.

And if that weren’t enough, your greatest obstacle is often yourself. If there seems to be something between you and the life you want with God—hurdles and roadblocks hindering your process—you just might be hindering yourself. At least that’s what my friends and I have learned.

If you could, you might like to toss pages of your story in the trash. You know, those days that are embarrassing or too painful or even too boring. I have plenty of embarrassing stories and know that feeling all too well. Adults are supposed to know how to walk, right? Although I am an adult, sometimes high heels and I don’t always work well together.

Recently Robert and I were given tickets to a Dallas Cowboys’ game. As an added bonus, we were also given great parking tickets (which are almost as valuable as the tickets themselves). We arrived just after kickoff, and hurrying to get inside, Robert set a pace for us that was faster than I would have preferred. You see, out of vanity’s sake I had chosen to wear high heels. Are you seeing where this going? If you can already picture me sprawled out in front of the stadium, you’d be 100 percent correct. That day I learned my husband doesn’t think high heels are nearly as attractive as I do. (Although I think the fact that they were the downfall of the disheveled wreckage he had to untangle and accompany into the stadium might have a little something