Caustic Culture

Caustic Culture

Nadine Camamic

Copyright © 2017 by Nadine Camamic

All right reserved.  This book or any portion there of may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

2017

ISBN:  ISBN #: 978-1-365-89922-5

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Introduction

My views on an effective democracy are as follows:

If you can’t require that members of society be responsible to the individual, then don’t make the individual(s) responsible for the members of society.  I believe that for a democracy to function everyone must follow the laws that protect the individual’s rights in the country in which they live. This does not then support the blaming of one, or of a few persons, for the actions of other’s, or for the actions of groups of people.   Nadine Camamic, 2017

This book examines the cultural and community abuses and environmental toxins experienced by one American white female from early childhood to adulthood, and some of that which her children experienced, including from husbands, the children’s fathers, and from others.  While there were many happy times and personal relationships that were attempted and successful, there was also a considerable amount of sadness, loss, abuse, helplessness, and uncertainty. 

The names of all the people in this narrative are fictitious, including my own.  Therefore, my first husband is named Wes; the second, Doug; and the third, Ned.  Two boyfriends included are named Clark and Rickie.  One landlord mentioned is named Don.

The first chapter or two of this book introduces me as the primary character, and demonstrates some horrific violations of my and my children’s basic human rights.  It covers the last couple of decades as proof of an increasingly caustic culture replacing that which most people of my educational and genetic background would be familiar with and comfortable living in, and one which this country is supposedly built upon.  That is why this book is being written, in part for myself, and mostly for my children. 

I wish that I could somehow put more of me into this writing; but, I wasn’t considered much in the process.  Maybe that is why I can remember so much of it. I wasn’t the cause, nor did I participate willingly in matters of negative consequence.  I just didn’t understand how much I could have had in life for myself, instead of letting everyone else do something to it.  Somehow, I was protected from the risk of attempting to stop negative things from happening, while merely surviving and trying to protect my children, no matter what. Sometimes I failed. 

Chapter One:  Human Relationships and Rights 

For an abuser, it is easier to self-define by that which the victim is not than it is for them to be worth anything of a human on their own. Nadine Camamic, 2017

When a man asks for government program assistance for himself or his family such as financial, health or home payment assistance, it is likely assumed that the request is made necessary due to economic factors such as a layoff from work, the economy, his wife is not working, his car needs repairs, or there are medical expenses.

When a woman asks for the same kinds of assistance for her family, it is likely that she is labeled as: lazy, lacking in intelligence, not wanted by her family (who won’t or can’t help), not willing to work (even if she is a single parent), mentally or physically ill, and/or deserving of abuse from her spouse or boyfriend (which may have directly caused the need).

Abuse can take many forms, from physical to emotional or mental abuse.  It can come directly from an individual or individuals, or from an environment that is controlled by someone other than the victim.  Even the denial of ‘normalcy,’ or not communicating, is a form of abuse.  There are differing levels of abuse, differing levels of tolerance, and often never enough ways to get away from it.  There is little to no chance of one person being able to change the source of it.

If you are a victim, or were a victim, you will understand that, as such, you learn ways to survive, including waiting out behaviors from others, and ignoring some behaviors and incidents.  Sometimes you learn that you will survive if you allow abuse to happen.  On a lesser scale, by walking on egg-shells, not aggravating the abuser(s) further, or by not giving that much credibility to what they have done, you feel as if you may have the opportunity to make them have less of an impact than the one they intended.  Living like this is mere survival at its worst.  The reality and truth of it is, in the case of any kind of abuse, the person(s) who can’t survive without it are the ones who inflict it on others, whether once, twice, or any number of times. 

As I write this, I become more upset than ever before.  I look closely at what my family experienced, and what we lost.  We were denied the respect that is allowed most families.  That respect comes from the human dignity that was supposed to have been our right.  This extends from personal privacy and the right to a safe home and community environment, to the rights of our own bodies. This includes the emotional rights that my children and I had that would have allowed us to create and maintain a safe and happy family, and to be able to promote our self-esteem, our futures, and our relationships with ourselves and each other.

The human rights that were denied my children and I included:  the right to privacy of home and our bodies; the right to make moral choices that are or were of benefit to self and others; the right to not be forced to make bad choices or limiting choices; the right to not have falsehoods used as excuses to treat us differently; the right to become gainfully employed in the work in which one or more of us were/are educated and trained; the right to enter any public place without threat of violence, discrimination and expulsion accompanied by verbal or physical abuse; the right to live without falsely imposed stalking, in-person or otherwise, which includes hacking into our electronic media and bank accounts, and monitoring of our phone calls; the right to choose to reside in any particular and safe environment; the right to have access to a place to live and pay rent that has potable water and that has utilities and appliances that can be used without causing harm to the resident or that alter the taste and chemical make-up of the food or beverages; the right to a lack of cameras and/or microphones used in our homes to view us and to exploit our relationships, our bodies, and also used to confine us and to negatively affect us and negatively sway others to affect our lives; and the right to safely operate vehicles without harm to us as the driver and/or passengers from intentionally caused mal-functioning of the vehicle by anyone; and the right to utilize public transportation without stalking and/or physical and/or mental abuse.  Also, that the violations of our rights and the subsequent effects of the violations of our rights as human beings not be used against us to further inflict bodily harm, stalking, threats of violence and acts of medical malpractice and abuse, theft and damage of personal property and verbal insinuations and more, including or with any continued threats against us.  These violations are what happened, and more.  It is still occurring.  It has not stopped.  It has only changed.  In some ways, it has gotten worse.

What Did You Grow Up Thinking?

In my day, little girls (under the age of 11 or 12 or so) usually dreamed of pretty dresses and gowns, and princes and princesses, magically happy moments, and stories based on happy-endings.  This doesn’t mean that we are mentally unstable as children, or as adults.  It’s called aesthetics.  Most females, when reaching adulthood, will continue to demonstrate this aesthetic interest, at one level or another. Also, most normally raised males are able to understand, express and experience the benefits of an appropriate response to their environment and culture.  The businesses that make money from aesthetics are numerous. 

Aesthetics largely involves the five senses of being human and being able to accurately perceive, enjoy, and function in a human existence.  Furthermore, combined with intelligence and the ability to experience human compassion, this extends into relationships that involve deep levels of care, love, pride, responsibility, and affection. 

Aesthetics are also a logical pathway of identification with one’s environment.  Intelligence is a logical pathway to connect with and to demonstrate appropriate levels of respect and care for others, including, of course, children.  However, the seeking of destruction, manipulations, lies, pain, theft, loss, loss of life, sabotages, discrimination, ridicule and beating someone as a form of identifying with anything would seem to me to be a very serious concern that the person(s) doing these behaviors has/have a serious mental illness, and that they, or he or she, is a criminal.

Many of the males whom I have met in my life seem to lack much in aesthetic ability or any ability to show appreciation.  They may have discarded it in fear of possibly being forced to actually be responsible for something within their own lives, or they fear not being able utilize their spouse for money or work, or they fear being forced to give up beating people up as they, as boys are supposed to do.

And, there is a difference between girls who think of themselves as a tom boy, who likes sports, likes playing sports, enjoys being active and being competitive, likes experiencing adventures or excitement, and enjoys the outdoors and animals, etc., as compared to the schizophrenic torture-artist female, who essentially works to support harmful values, and who stalks her victims, aims her shopping cart at someone or her car at someone, pounds on the walls and floors, hacks into computers, gets a job as a landlord and enters women’s apartments and steals and damages things, or who works around children of any age, and intentionally mentally, emotionally or physically abuses or neglects them, or denies them access to an educational service that they are supposed to be providing, or who works as a bank teller or handles money or credit in some other way and belittles or lies to the customer, or is a customer service individual who is rude, and who pretends that the customer is dirty and refuses to serve him or her in a humane way

I don’t get how what kind of a connection to reality these negative and abusive behaviors serve that kind of a person.  Apparently is their lifeline, and they cannot survive without it.  There are so many of these types, and they are all based upon a need to abuse.  No matter what they may say their motive is, the law is not supposed to protect these kinds of behaviors.  My guess is that these types of people are so far gone into that realm of abuse, and that they may have never been allowed to experience, or may simply not be capable of understanding, life in any other way.  Does this mean we should all feel sorry for them and let them do this to us?  Are you serious? 

My Growing Up and Why I’m a Good Person

I hesitate to write about my childhood for a number of reasons.   One is the because of the people involved, and the second is the nature of the events.  However, I realize that society as a whole is guiltier than the individual parts, when it does nothing.  It often encourages more wrongdoings, rather than providing alternatives and teaching respect for another’s human body and mind. 

I don’t like being disrespectful.  However, my children have their lives to live, and I respect the need to recount the facts of what we have experienced. Lastly, there is the destruction of the nostalgia and the idea of hope from the gentle past.  There go the memories, the places still so vivid in my mind, and the last bit: the hope that things would have happened differently.  As if I could have controlled or changed any of it.

As a child, I think that time spanned before me like a science fiction movie and, as yet, of nonexistence.  I breathe, I see, I walk, I move.  My legs transport me everywhere.  As I grow up, I will enjoy every sensation I can; combining it with thoughts and feelings that I have.  From the house to the yard and fields, the nature and the animals, and that beautiful sky, with those sunny days, the little prairie dogs scurrying under the shadows of the clouds and finally moving away from the train track noises; all the animal farm life playing out its daily role; the moonlight nights, the raging thunder storms with lightening stretching for a mile from clouds to ground somewhere as I counted the miles away; pouring rains; snowstorms  and blizzards that left feet of snow everywhere, with fields of blinding white; sweaty horses, musty chicken coops, oily tools and loud trucks and tractors, smelly cows, and not so smelly horses, and cats, everywhere!  Dandelions and turtles, and lizards, and bugs and spiders and worms.  Picnics and barbeques and then always sadness and rejection from parents, family, and no friends other than all those animals I like so much.  There is good and not-so-good.

I enjoy when I experience my environment as absolutely beyond wonderful, even still.  It largely becomes my friend and a part of my life.  I like nature, animals, and the outdoors.  But, for people skills, some of the people I meet lack something in the connections that I try to make with them (or try to avoid).  As a child, it seemed as if they thought it was me who lacked the connection abilities, and as a child, I could never catch up with their thinking.  Now, I think I may have been way beyond them, rather than lacking.  As an adult, I do enjoy moments of being alone to play music, and I