The Enemy of Marriage

FATAI KASALI

THE ENEMY OF MARRIAGE

Copyright © 2015 Fatai Kasali

The author has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version, Cambridge University Press, Oxford University Press, Harper Collins and the Queen’s Printers.

Published in the United Kingdom by Glory Publishing

ISBN: 978-1-9996849-1-4

Acknowledgements

To God be the glory for the grace to write this book. I give God all the praise and adoration for giving me the inspiration through His Spirit. This has made possible the writing of this book.

My wife, Felicia Ebunlomo, gave me priceless support during the writing of this book. My two sons, Daniel and David, have been very supportive.

To all those who have contributed one way or the other to the beauty of this work, thank you very much. May God Almighty bless you all.

Contents

Introduction

1: In the Beginning

2: Operations of Satan

3: The Power of Knowledge

4: Pressure at Home

5: The Spirit of Individualism

6: Attack on Communication

7: Strife

8: Co-operative Faith

9: Jezebel Spirit

10: Spiritual Warfare in Marriage

11: Brokenness

Introduction

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?"

Genesis 3:1

In the beginning, Satan lured Adam and Eve into disobedience. Satan hates marriage, and the first satanic attack recorded in the Bible was against this first holy couple. He made them both sin against God. Since then, Satan has been working against the success of marriage. He has explored many different avenues to create trouble in marriage. He uses the weaknesses of the partners to cause crises in their marriage.

For you to be able to solve your marital crisis, you will need to identify the involvement of Satan. For your marriage to stand, you will need to be conscious of Satan. Satan is the real enemy of marriage; it is not your spouse or any other human being. The weaknesses in your spouse or yourself might have given opportunity to Satan to get involved in the affairs of your home, but you must understand that the real enemy of your home is Satan.

This book will educate you about the different kind of avenues Satan exploits to cause marriage crises. You will learn how Satan exploits the moral weaknesses of the partners to create troubles in their relationship. You will also discover through this book, how to close the door of your home against Satan – the real enemy of marriage.

Every chapter in this book has prayer points that will bless you.

I pray in Jesus’ name that your home will be glorious and that every attack of Satan against your marriage shall fail.

1

In the Beginning

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"

Matthew 19:4-5

And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:18-25

Marriage was established by God at the beginning of creation. God put the first couple in the Garden of Eden, which He gave to them as a home. But He didn’t leave them on their own: He also related with them regularly. God visited Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to speak with them. This is clearly revealed in the second and third chapters of the book of Genesis, in the Bible.

From that first marriage in the Garden of Eden, the following information can be deduced:

1. God is the author of marriage

It was God who laid the foundation for marriage. He saw the need for a wife in Adam’s life. Because God is the author of marriage, therefore, any idea, principle, doctrine or philosophy that will be applied to marriage must come from God. Only God has the knowledge that can make marriage work. Whatever does not agree with the Word of God should not be applied to marriage.

2. God had a purpose for establishing marriage

God wanted to give Adam a helper that would be suitable for his destiny. God also wanted Man to procreate—spread and multiply on the earth. You need to ask yourself about your purpose for getting married. This will help you to avoid abusing your partner. Where the purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. Do you see your partner as a helper in your destiny? Do you see yourself and your partner as having a common destiny to fulfil? If you have married your partner for a selfish purpose that will not fulfil the purpose of God, then you need to repent and seek the face of God for mercy.

3. Acceptance is mandatory if marriage is to be successful

God brought Eve to Adam as a helper but He did not force Adam to marry her. God allowed Adam to make his own decision about Eve. Adam then said, This is now bone of my bones…, she shall be called Woman… (Genesis 2:23). This is evidence of acceptance. You must accept your spouse and everything about him/her. You must accept his/her height, body shape, family background, etc. Some of the signs of lack of acceptance in marriage include incessant complaining and criticism, irritation, avoidance, individualism, etc. The person you accept will always be without fault to you. Because neither you nor your partner is an angel, there may be certain weaknesses in both of you, but that does not affect acceptance. With love, you can talk through any personal weakness and help each other to become better in your relationship.

4. There must be cleaving together

Genesis 2:28 says that a man must leave his parents and be joined to his wife. That is, there must be some sort of separation from relatives and close associates if marriage is going to be successful. You must be emotionally separated from certain people in your life and be totally joined to your spouse. Parents can offer advice, but they must not have any control over your marriage. Your spouse must be your confidante, closest associate, partner in all things, and best friend. Your spouse must be the one who knows everything about you – not any other person.

5. Spouses must be proud of each other in all situations

In Genesis 2, Adam and Eve were both naked and not ashamed. You must never be ashamed of your spouse. You must always be proud of your spouse in all situations. Never spread a bad report around about your spouse. Maintain integrity and the honour of your home. Avoid telling people, including your parents, negative things about your spouse. If you need counselling, find a credible, independent counsellor and avoid destroying the reputation of your home. Complaining to other people about your spouse’s shortcomings will never solve your marital problems, and will most likely make them worse.

6. Marriage is for mature people

Genesis chapter 2 states that a man will be joined to his wife. This implies that marriage is between a man and a woman, not a boy and a girl. There are heavy responsibilities involved in marriage and it is only mature people who can handle them. Nevertheless, it should be mentioned that age does not necessarily indicate maturity. It is possible to be elderly and still lack the necessary wisdom. Therefore, maturity will require a person who can function in a position of power, leadership, authority and influence. It will also involve somebody who can take responsibility for his/her actions. The mature person must also be matured in words, perception, understanding, thoughts and actions. A mature person must be independent of parents and able to live an independent life.

7. Marriage will require openness of heart

Genesis 2 states that Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed. That is, they were open to each other. For your marriage to be successful, you will need to be open with each other. There should be no hidden agenda, no secrecy. Openness builds up unity in the home. It is difficult to be one with somebody when you know little about his or her life.

8. There are differences between a man and a woman

Adam was called a man while Eve was called a woman – because they are different. Man is naturally more aggressive because he is a hunter, given the responsibility of hunting for food for his family. Man is built with muscles and aggression to help him capture food and serve his family well. He occupies the position of a problem solver and every member of the family looks toward him for a solution to their problems.

A woman must understand that a man is naturally built to be more aggressive and able to defend his family. Even a regenerated man still exhibits a degree of aggressiveness in many situations. There are chemicals and hormones inside a man that make him behave in a certain way that is different to a woman.

Similarly, there are certain hormones and chemicals inside a woman that influence her emotionally. Some of these chemicals are produced in the body of a woman periodically, while some are continually being secreted. These chemicals enable a woman to be a woman in terms of pregnancy, breastfeeding, menstruation, etc. All these affect the mood of a woman regularly and occasionally.

A man must know that there are clear differences between the way a woman and a man will react under the same circumstances, irrespective of the level of spirituality. This is because the chemical compositions are not the same. When your wife comes under the influence of emotion, you should not personalise it. It is not about you, but what makes her a woman.

9. God united the two, male and female, by an indissoluble bond in the marriage of one man to one woman

There was no possibility of separation because the bond between the two was indissoluble. Similarly, there was no possibility of adultery because this would require disunity in the marriage for it to happen. That unity was of God, and not of man.

10. It was two lives joined into one

There were no individualistic statements like, I have got my life to live. The two lived the same life. They had the same vision, dreams and goals to pursue. They had only one plan. They walked together, lived together, and did all things in common. They did not live an independent life.

11. The two partners were yoked together

This made it impossible for one to cheat the other. They were one, closely united, and pulling equally together in