Cultivating Minds To Own Thyself

Introduction

CULTIVATING MINDS TO OWN THYSELF

In the introduction of On Becoming A Leader, Warren Bennis stated, On Becoming A Leader is based on the assumption that leaders are people who are able to express themselves fully. By this I mean that they know who they are, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and how to fully deploy their strengths and compensate for their weaknesses. They also know what they want, why they want it, and how to communicate what they want to others in order to gain their cooperation and support. Finally, they know how to achieve their goals." He further communicated, the key to full self-expression is understanding one’s self and the world, and the key to understanding is learning from one’s own life and experience.

From that moment, Cultivating Minds to Own Thyself was born. Reading Warren Bennis’s introduction, inspired me to write this book, with the intentions of helping young black men and women discover their purpose and to take ownership of their lives without using society’s standards.

It was almost six years ago when I decided to turn the light bulb on in my head. I awakened myself to take control of my life to become self-knowledgeable, self-disciplined, self-determined, self-educated and to become the man most people would love to be around and to reach my full potential. Since then, I have witnessed many people destroy their life by accepting to be controlled by the negative influences of others. Many are now lost in an environment filled with valuable opportunities for growth. They have been influenced to walk in circles. They have no direction, settling for lack. Those individuals have been miseducated and misguided by the lack of education, miseducation, and direction from their parents and elders, by the poisoned images on the television screen, by the poisoned messages flowing through the radio frequencies, through their headphones and into their ears. Negative energy created to control and destroy the mind in order for the dominant society to conquer.

My turning point in life came about when I visited the Black Holocaust Museum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, which was about five years ago. Inside the museum, there was a room filled with obituaries from all individuals who have been killed by BOB (Black on Black Violence) in the neighborhoods of Philly. The owner/instructor shared stories of the homicides and really encouraged me to open my eyes and to begin treating my brothers and sisters fairly and to protect them. The spirits of the hundreds of black individuals who were on the walls in the museum, entered my soul and woke up a part of me which made me change my negative thinking toward others. Those stories and the spirits of the individuals in the museum weren’t the only things that had a huge impact on my life. The room with the obituaries also had a coffin in the center of it. Upon sharing the stories of the many individuals killed from black violence, the instructor instructed me to open the coffin and to look inside. Not knowing what to expect, uncontrollably scared and nervous, I looked inside and I saw myself. I stared at myself for several minutes, very emotional, and in deep thought. I then said to myself that, if I continue to act negatively toward others, especially toward my own kind, this could be me. I said, I have to make a change. A change in myself and in others. I decided at that moment, when I was looking at my reflection in the coffin, to be the change I wanted to see among my peers, my community and throughout the world. I told myself, I’m going to take control of my life, become the man many people would love to be around, achieve positive goals and reach my full potential.

As I look in the mirror today, I see the controller of my life, a role model to all, a compassionate educator and leader, a respectful and loving man, who have become the change he wished to see nearly six years ago. Looking at the obituaries on the walls and looking into a coffin to only see myself was the wakeup I needed to become a successful, educated individual and to develop love for all humanity.

While writing this book, I had the opportunity to dialogue with Dorian W. and Kenta S., and many other individuals who were housed in the County Corrections Center in Cleveland, Ohio. I shared my story of how I use to be the person others wanted me to be up until my junior year at Kent State University, when I decided to reinvent myself, express myself the way I wanted to and become the person I wanted to become. I explained to them fully, how I had to get rid of the negative influences surrounding me: family, peers, music, television etc. in order for me to reach my full potential. I mentioned to Dorian and Kenta that, those who you think will be there for you, won’t be there when you need them most. Dorian and Kenta then asked, how did I determine which people to eliminate from my circle? and I said, When you go to court, look behind you. Those are the people who got your back. Those who have been enjoying the fruits of your labor, who isn’t there to support you in times of need are the ones you clear from your circle. Those who do not uplift you and inspire you, but bring you down and discourage you are the ones you get rid of immediately. You should have people that empower you, support you, and who get out of your way on your team. That is how they will get the best of you and how you will get the best of yourself.

Brothers and sisters, think of your brain as a garden, you must lay rich soil, plant good seeds, water it, keep animals and weeds out in order to blossom healthy plants, fruits, and vegetables. You have to plant positive thoughts in your mind in order to develop into the successful person you wish to become. Negativity is the cause of disease, destruction, and disaster. Positivity results in production. The goal is to eliminate negativity from your subconscious mind, so you can enjoy a lifetime of happiness and joy. With negativity erased from your subconscious mind, your vision becomes clear and you will have room to take control of your life and to fully express yourself, maximizing your strengths and achieving your goals.

I don’t have a coffin or hundreds of obituaries here for you to look at to encourage you to become your best self and to make a difference. However, I do have this book, Cultivating Minds to Own Thyself, which will have an even greater impact on you and which will definitely encourage you to define, identify, and accept yourself without using society’s standards. This book will also encourage you to modify your thoughts, so you can become your best self and to make a difference in the lives of others.

This book was birthed so that you can take full control of your life. You will learn about the miseducation, the true meaning of education, financial literacy, the affect that bad parenting has on children, the effects of good parenting, relationships, effective dating, getting rid of negative tendencies from your subconscious mind, treating others fairly and putting all your situations in the hands of the Creator. All are important for taking ownership of your life and becoming the successful individual you are destined to become.

I took it upon myself to educate myself on the subjects I will discuss in this book. All information enclosed is based off life experiences, except brief quotations and summaries of those featured within.

What’s stopping you from revealing your true self to yourself and those who matter? What’s hiding under those layers of skin, under that foundation?

Chapter One

DEFINE, IDENTIFY & ACCEPT THYSELF

No one can teach you how to be yourself, to take charge, to express yourself, EXCEPT YOU

— WARREN BENNIS

Identity is the consciousness of our true nature," says Dr. Na’im Akbar, author of Know Thy Self. He also says, in order to become really human, our humanity must be educed, brought forth or brought out. To be human, he continued, however implies consciousness or awareness of who and what we are.

Author of On Becoming A Leader, Warren Bennis says, to know thyself means separating who you are and what you want to be from what the world thinks and wants you to be.

To know yourself would be to know such things as your deepest thoughts, desires, and emotions, your character traits, your values, what makes you happy and why you think and do the things you think and do, said the writer of Know Thy Self - Really, Quassim Cassam.

Dr. Akbar explains the earliest step in the educational process and how that step is an important part of our identity. The earliest step in the educational process is selecting a name. The name comes to symbolize the much broader reality of identity. It is with the name that we become identified among the human community and within the name is a full range of dimensions of our identity… The name usually identifies the family or direct teachers from whom we come. The language of the name tells us much about our nationality, native tongue, culture, history and a wide range of things about our human social function and origin.

For example, the name Ashani originates in