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    Step Awayyy from the Porcelain!!!!: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Building A Business Empire
    Step Awayyy from the Porcelain!!!!: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Building A Business Empire
    Step Awayyy from the Porcelain!!!!: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Building A Business Empire
    Ebook111 pages1 hour

    Step Awayyy from the Porcelain!!!!: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Building A Business Empire

    By Teddy The Tax Man

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    About this ebook

    The funniest “what-really-happens-in-a-business” book you’ll ever read!

    Entrepreneur Teddy The Tax Man™ has seen it all when it comes to building and running a business. "Step Away" as he shares stories from inside and outside his decades-long experience as a successful business own

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGold Bar Publishing House, Inc.
    Release dateNov 20, 2018
    ISBN9781732825017
    Step Awayyy from the Porcelain!!!!: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Building A Business Empire
    Author

    Teddy The Tax Man

    Teddy Prioleau-widely known as Teddy The Tax Man™-is an Enrolled Agent and founder of Hunt Valley Retirements, LLC. A successful businessman, he began his practice in 1980. He has been an invited guest on Fox 45 Morning News in Maryland, educating millions of viewers on retirement and tax issues that affect their families, and can also be heard regularly on many radio stations around the country discussing topics such as retirements, taxes, small business issues, and other financial information that is important to households at all levels of the income spectrum.

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      Book preview

      Step Awayyy from the Porcelain!!!! - Teddy The Tax Man

      Ihear many business owners say, When I was a child, I knew that I’d grow up and have my own business. Well, I can’t tell you that. I really don’t recall telling my parents that I want to be an Enrolled Agent (a tax professional who is licensed by the U.S. Treasury), a life insurance agent, a retirements rollover professional, an investment advisor, and among the tax virtuosi of the United States, all at the same time. A 1040 laureate. When I look back at my youth, however, it’s not hard to believe that I did end up in be-your-own- boss world. At the age of thirteen, I sold seeds. At fifteen, I sold magazines door-to-door. I was very good at both. I won a hatchet for selling seeds. Yes, a hatchet . . . a thirteen-year- old boy with a hatchet . . . a thirteen-year-old city boy, with a hatchet. And I earned a promotion while selling magazines. But it’s amazing how two run-ins with dogs on the same Saturday can change one’s mind about a door-to-door job. Anyway, after looking back, should I be surprised that I ended up in the realm of the self-employed? Absolutely not!

      It all started in August 1978, albeit, not on a good note. Early one Sunday morning, just three months after graduating from high school, I found myself being hoisted from my bed and carried down the steps by my father and two of my brothers. I recall going in and out of consciousness and getting glimpses of people and things as I was being moved along. They rushed me to the world-famous Johns Hopkins Hospital. And yes, there is an ‘s’ at the end of John. (Why any parent would do such a thing to a child, I’ll never know.) Anyway, after a whole day of tests, the doctors gave me the dire news. Acute sinusitis! Not just sinusitis. Acute sinusitis! Now, I had never even had even a hint of a problem with my sinuses, so I knew that this was special. My doctor described the problem to me. Teeodor, you hab a sebere blockach ob your sinuses. On Tuesday, what we hap to do ees make an enceesion right at your eye brow and eensert a leetle pipe dat will be steecking out ob your head about 3 qvarters of an eench. Wow! Alright. Whatever the doctor says.

      Tuesday afternoon after the surgery, I had been returned from the recovery room to my own private room. (I’ll bet you haven’t used that term in years). I got myself together, struggled over to the mirror and removed the patch that was covering this newly grown horn of mine. It was just like the doctor said. I stared and stared. I wondered what would happen if I just snatched the pipe out. Would I bleed to death? After about eight minutes, I had to get over the fact that I was gazing at a human unicorn. But I had to get over it, so I convinced myself that I was the best-looking mythical creature on that entire floor. The doctor was on his way up to my room to do the test that would show that the sinuses were all clear and I’d be going home in a day or two.

      Okay, Teeodor. Now, I hap to eenject dees saline solution into de pipe and you should feel it drain down your maxillary sinuses and dat will prove da operation successpul. Here goes. He stuck the needle into the pipe extending from my forehead and injected the saline solution. Do you feel eenything?

      No.

      Hmmm. Okay, I weel try again. He repeats the process. Anything?

      No.

      Okay. Once more. Here goes. Anything?

      No, Doctor. I don’t feel anything draining down my sinuses.

      Hmmmm. I’ll be back, Teeodor.

      Man! I figured he must be going to get a bigger hypodermic needle than the one he was using. Although, if there was a bigger one, it had to be in the book of world records. I waited and waited and no doctor. I figured he must’ve gone to lunch. A few long hours later, he sauntered in, with nothing in his hands. He pulled up a chair and began to speak.

      Teeodor, de operation was not successpul. De bone ober your eye is inpected. On Tursday, we hap to do a much more complicated operation. We hap to make an eenceesion (he’s using his right pointing finger and dragging it from the top of his left ear, across the top of his own head to the top of his right ear to demonstrate) from the top of your left ear, all the way across the top of your head, to the top of your right ear. Den we plip (flip) your skin back and pop out your eyes. Den we will remoob de bone, make an eenceesion in your stomach, remove some pat (fat) and replace de bone with de pat. Okay?" He patted me on my leg, got up and walked out into the hospitally smelling halls and disappeared. He acted as if he had just described to me how to put on brown dress socks on a Sunday morning.

      Oh, I know! We’re on that hidden camera show, right? We must be. Otherwise, where was his bedside manner? His empathy? Oh yeah. The camera is behind that mirror, right? No, that would be too obvious. Ahaaaa! It was in the doctor’s stethoscope! How ingenious! Alright, camera staff and production crew. It’s time to jump out and tell me to smile! I’m waiting! I’m waaaiting! (Sigh). There was no camera crew. No camera. And definitely no smile! There were only five of us in that room: my parents, me and the two tears slowly running down my face. Where was my life headed? What was I going to do? Well, I only had one full day before the operation to pull myself together, so I had to convince myself that this was for the best.

      Early Thursday morning, they wheeled me to the operating room, where I could see Dr. Bedside Manner patiently (pun definitely intended) awaiting my arrival.

      Teodor, are you ready? We are now going to gib you de anesthesia. They administered the anesthesia. As I was fading into oblivion, he said, We will hap to cut your hair in order to perform de operation.

      Doctor, will it grow back? I asked tearfully.

      Yes Teodor. It will.

      Liar!! Then how come thirty years later as I’m walking across the parking lot of a west Baltimore pharmacy, a little six-year-old girl (whom I’ve never seen before) walking with her father is asking me why I have a scar across my head?

      In my room, hours after the big operation, Dr. Bedside reviewed. After physically inspecting his work for close to half an hour, he gave his conclusions.

      Teodor, de operation was a success. You will need to stay here a pew days so dat we can monitor you. Ip you want someting to eat later today, you can hab some soup, but nothing solid yet. I’ll be back tomorrow. In de meantime, try not to sneeze, because you could blow your brains out, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.

      What would this world be without warm and fuzzy doctors? And this time, he even cheated me out of my pat on the leg. I’ll address the significance of this whole episode for business owners and wannabe business owners a little later on. It’s amazing how much of your life’s everyday experiences can and will help you when you own a business. You’ll see what I’m talking about as you read on.

      Believe it or not, within three months,

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