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    Finally Good Enough
    Finally Good Enough
    Finally Good Enough
    Ebook99 pages1 hour

    Finally Good Enough

    By Kelebogile Molopyane

    ()

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    About this ebook

    This is about a womans journey through life that is consumed by guilt, shame, inadequacy, and a desperate need to belong. Born in the late seventies, sheltered by the love of her grandmother, her world fell apart when all at once she lost her pillar of strength and what seemed like her final opportunity to break out of the vicious black curse that is embraced by poverty and lack of access to resources. To all women; young and old going through life challenges, this is a book for you. Life happens. The power is in how you respond. Claim back your power.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherXlibris UK
    Release dateApr 18, 2017
    ISBN9781524598730
    Finally Good Enough
    Author

    Kelebogile Molopyane

    Kelebogile Molopyane is a South African woman, student of life, Mindset Coach, social entrepreneur, proud mother and self-acclaimed number one fan for phenomenal men. She is principled in love and integrity and firmly believes that love protects, provides and proclaims. Finally good enough is her inaugural publish.

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      Book preview

      Finally Good Enough - Kelebogile Molopyane

      Copyright © 2017 by Kelebogile Molopyane.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Rev. date: 04/18/2017

      Xlibris

      1-888-795-4274

      www.Xlibris.com

      740207

      Acknowledgements

      May I take this opportunity to thank my sister/lover/friends Neo Mokone and Linda Mothobi for being super awesome and pushing me to finish this project and Ntsiki Mpulo for editing the manuscript. Neo, consider this my 40th bornday present to you. Thank you Michael Kretzschmar for persistently encouraging me to get to the finish line, I will forever be grateful for the role you played. Last but not least thank you to the best kids in the universe for being the inspiration for this book. I love you guys madly; Lebone, Kearabetswe, Thatogatsi and Thoriso. You guys fuel me to get through each day. You are simply the best! This book is dedicated to my late grandmother, my hero; Mary Mpidi Mosweu who to this day remains the wind beneath my wings. I am because she was.

      Review

      I’ve been battling with my endometriosis and have been in such pain. I went into blame mode as I am prone to do...Poor me, I had these symptoms yet no one took me to the doctor to find out what was wrong with me. Endometriosis is a result of too much ‘sugar’ in the blood. It’s also an auto immune disease. So something that can’t be helped. It’s there and there’s very little you can do to stop it...kind of like cancer...but if I had been eating better it would not have been so severe. If I had gone to a Gynaecologist with the right scanner sooner and, and...All the self-pity! After reading your book I realized that I had a role to play in my condition and that I had to stop blaming others, accept my role and forgive myself. And be healed.

      Ntsiki Mpulo

      Contents

      Acknowledgements

      Review

      Prologue

      Chapter 1 — Early Childhood

      Chapter 2 — Step-childhood

      Chapter 3 — School years

      Chapter 4 — Varsity years

      Chapter 5 — Making friends

      Chapter 6 — My body

      Chapter 7 — Family Relations

      Chapter 8 — Career

      Chapter 9 — Doing Business

      Chapter 10 — Love, Marriage and Divorce

      Chapter 11 — Motherhood

      Chapter 12 — Finally good enough

      Chapter 13 — Reflection

      Prologue

      It seems to me that we have been programmed to believe and accept that Fear is false evidence appearing real with much emphasis on EVIDENCE. We therefore train ourselves to seek evidence that supports our inhibitions, limitations and insecurities. As a result, we are ruled by the self-fulfilling prophesies that confirm everything we think and feel about ourselves. We battle with feelings of not being good enough for anything or anyone and sadly, we never quite master the sense of belonging. At least that is my story.

      I was taken aback when the other day my now seven-year old baby-girl said to me… Mommy, you know, I really like fear She was five years old at the time. Can you imagine the look of surprise on my face? I looked at her trying to get where she was coming from. I composed myself and asked her, what she meant and what exactly it was about fear that she loved? She effortlessly elaborated in her five-year old composure that….Fear keeps her from getting hurt, it keeps her safe and out of harm’s way. I suppose that is the scientific way of looking at it ha!? That coming from a five-year old! Where had she been all my life when I battled with this concept? Perhaps I was not ready and now that I was ready, the teacher had appeared in my little girl.

      Throughout my life I felt like I was neither here nor there. There have been moments, too few, where I thought I was in a safe space but that never lasted long enough for me to appreciate and bask in. It was one thing being born out of wedlock but adding step childhood to the mix, made matters even worse and my existence sound like some poitjiekos dish of some sort (a South African dish with literally everything thrown into the pot; meat and vegetables). Except the ingredients in my pot were not balancing out right and the taste was never quite right. If only the Master Chef could have mixed my ingredients right (or maybe He did; I am an acquired taste that never landed on the right palate).

      For over thirty years I believed that I was not good enough until a miracle happened and suddenly, I realised that not only am I good enough, I am awesome, exceptionally gifted, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, phenomenal and I am love; concepts I battled to associate myself with. This book captures my journey and battles with inadequacy and a sense of belonging. For most of my life I felt like an outcast. I did not fit anywhere; my family overlooked me, friends were dismissive of me; and boys thought I was a commodity they could indulge in and dispose of as and when they pleased.

      Thirty one years into my life I was finally introduced to the concept of being good enough, flaws and all. I was endorsed and certified GOOD ENOUGH; everything I have and do not have; my weaknesses and strengths, I am finally good enough. For the first time in forever someone looks me in my eyes and tells me they genuinely love me without expecting anything in return. They say that I am imperfectly perfect as I am. More than that, I have learned to receive it without questioning it.

      I hope this book talks to everyone around the world that has suffered this meagreness and went on journeys around the world looking for external magical remedies only to find out they always had all the remedies within themselves. There is no greater truth than that written by Marianne Williamson in her book A return to love and made famous by the departed President Nelson Mandela of South Africa…

      "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

      But that we are powerful beyond measure.

      It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

      There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure about you.

      And as we let our own light shine,

      We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

      As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

      Chapter 1

      Early Childhood

      I have no idea when and how it all began but for as long as I can remember I have had this deep rooted feeling of not being good enough. I was an outcast in one way or another. As a toddler, my mother used to joke about her not being my mom. She would say that for kicks and when I had been naughty. It tore me apart. The thought of her not being my mother anymore terrified me. My mother was and still remains a beautiful woman; like fine wine she gets even more beautiful with age. To have been associated with that much beauty through birth only to have it taken away from me? That was a thought my little brain could not comprehend.

      I remember how angry I used to be. I would make her apologise and I had a mantra that I made her recite; ere askies I am sorry ko thabeng (and cross your neck with your fourth finger as if you are cutting it off). This literally means she should say she is very sorry all the way to the mountains. Please do not ask me why and how I developed that but that was how it was done, maybe it is because the mountain was the highest point I could think of. The hurt she inflicted was so deep that her apology needed to be as high and majestic as the mountain.

      My mother was the best cook I

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