A Glimpse into My Heart: Letters to My Daughter
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About this ebook
Carol Cooper Eubank
Carol Cooper Eubank is a working wife and mother who has a passion for expressing her faith in written works. A Glimpse into my Heart is her first published book. Carol and her husband live in the Texas Hill Country with their two dogs, Chloe and Louis.
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A Glimpse into My Heart - Carol Cooper Eubank
Introduction
When my daughter was young, we were very close and shared so many intimate moments together discussing matters of faith and how to live our lives pleasing to the Lord and according what His plan is for each of us. We were an inseparable family and loved being together. We looked forward to getting home from school and work to be together, as a family. But, something happens when our daughters begin high school and they begin to work to gain their own independence, to try to find their own place in life; the mother-daughter relationship changes. When this happens, in the minds of our daughters nothing relational really changes, but to us mothers a whole lot of changing takes place. Our daughters don’t need us as much, but as they grow and mature, we have so much more to tell them, to teach them. As much as I missed her wanting to be with me over her friends, I certainly understood. After all, I still remember being a teenager myself and trying to find my own way in the world.
These letters are very intimate, and it is truly my heart poured out from God to my daughter, so as she continues to grow and mature physically and emotionally, she will also grow and mature spiritually and she may come to love our Lord God, to depend on Him to guide her through the most difficult moments in life, when I am not there with her.
I am by no means a perfect mother. I have made my share of mistakes (maybe some of your share too!), but I can honestly say I tried to be the kind of mother my daughter could model herself after. Many times, I had to get on my knees and confess to God I had royally messed up. There are way too many times I was not the model example of motherhood! When my daughter was little, she was a true peacemaker and she was the one who helped bring me to Jesus.
My husband and I had been married for several years before I was able to carry a baby more than a few weeks. When we found out we were pregnant with our daughter, we were overjoyed, but decided not to tell anyone until I made it past the first twelve weeks. Well, we made it, but she wasn’t content staying in the safety of my womb for the full term. When she came early, doctors didn’t know if she would survive. We had to take life literally from one moment to the next. On the night she was born, by emergency c-section, my husband and I were in my room with all the lights off, not saying a word. The room seemed so quiet. We didn’t know what to say, what to think; we were in shock. After several hours of complete silence, I heard my husband in the corner crying. There was nothing I could do to comfort him because I was hurting physically from the surgery, and emotionally. So, sometime between 2 and 3 a.m., I called my mother-in-law in Texas and asked her to come so she could comfort her son. She arrived in Georgia, where we lived at the time, around noon that day. When my husband left the hospital to go to the airport, I got on my knees and begged God to let our baby live. I promised Him she would be His; her life would belong to Him. I’m sure at the time, God just smiled because what I’ve learned since then is that she was His to begin with. She was only on loan to us, I just didn’t understand that at the time.
We were able to take our sweet baby home on Thanksgiving day, 1993. It was truly a day for thanksgiving!! All children are true gifts from God and all life is a miracle, but she was truly a miracle baby!
Even though our daughter did finally make it out of the hospital, she went back in pretty soon after being released and was sick a lot during the first year. She suffered other complications, up until she was about 12 or 13, as a result of her early birth and the treatments she was subjected to from the moment she was born. I believe Jesus was right alongside her from the beginning. As soon as she could talk, she would tell me stories about being visited by Jesus and what Jesus would tell her. She would ask me who all the people were watching over her. My husband and I believe they were angels sent from heaven to protect her. One day, when she was about four, she was very sick, which we had become accustomed to, and she came to me and told me not to worry. She said Jesus came, sat on the end of her bed, and told her she would be okay. She always told me she would grow out of all of her sickness, but I didn’t believe her because doctors were telling us a different story. One time I even asked one of her doctors to tell her she needed to cooperate with me and take all of her medicines. She very confidently, and sweetly let the doctor know she would grow out of being sick; and, she did. Who are we to question a child who Jesus speaks to?
Even though I had made a promise to God that our daughter would belong to Him and I would make sure her life would be lived knowing Him, I had not been faithful to my promise. We only went