The Quotable Quotes: Dementia Refined
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About this ebook
Vuyisile Louis Poti
Vuyisile Louis Poti was born in Tinis Location, Fort Beaufort, South Africa. He is a mental health author who has worked his entire life as a registered mental health nurse, registered general nurse and an occupational health nurse (Employee Assistance Practitioner) in South Africa and England. Graduated from Fort Hare University in 1991, with a major in Nursing Science, psychiatry, community health nursing, and midwifery, where he met and married his college sweetheart of 34 years and still counting. Mental Health has been his subject of interest and that’s what strongly drove him to produce his first book, The Quotable Quotes Dementia refined, which was published in 2021. His quest to stretch his wings has led us to Nikita. Enjoy…
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The Quotable Quotes - Vuyisile Louis Poti
About the Author
Qualified in 1991 at the University of Fort Hare (B Cur) in South Africa majoring in general nursing science, psychiatry, community health nursing and midwifery, nursing people with mental health issues has been his life. Mr Vuyisile Louis Poti worked in mental health, community hospitals, mental health clinics (initial and follow-up stages) and nursing homes. He worked in various hospitals across England as a mental health nurse, registered nurse and a carer. It is that exposure to his clients that gave him the understanding of the people he was looking after and the efforts of other professionals supporting the services viz, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, community psychiatric nurses and dementia supporting groups etc.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my mum, Thembeka Eleanor Poti, as a thank you for her love and efforts in making me what I am today. Thanks again, Tabi.
Copyright Information ©
Vuyisile Louis Poti (2021)
The right of Vuyisile Louis Poti to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781528929592 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781528965927 (ePub e-book)
www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2021)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LQ
Acknowledgement
Also I would like to thank my wife, Nolita, sons—Gcobani, Siyabulela, Luvo and Sisipho—for being patient and let me pursue this career and lastly to my new acquired polish family, Adam Sierpinski and Janina, Pysio and his wife Renata Bochnak and their sons Damian and Przemo.
About this Book
The characters in this book are fictional but the events are true and quotations are taken from people suffering from dementia, carers and professionals looking after people with dementia across England. The names of the characters were given randomly and neither have significance to the people suffering from dementia nor their families.
This book highlights some of the growing concerns in Nursing and Care homes looking after people with dementia across the UK.
Quotable quotes are trying to seek and explore some of the myths about dementia and put to light that these people we are dealing with, do feel and sometimes understand. Its main objective is to enlighten the care-givers that it is not gloom and doomed, we can break through this barrier and people suffering from dementia can get the quality care they deserve and live their lives to the fullest. It aims to teach personnel to decode the verbal cues put to us across by the people suffering with dementia and respect their wishes.
They are human and they deserve to be treated as such. Dementia is a progressive disease with devastating effects both physically, spiritually and emotionally. The suffering is unbearable to be polite.
Introduction
Based on the true events these quotable quotes were taken from clients who were in care or shall I say, these are tales from the vault. This definitely poses a question to us carers, nurses, health care practitioners, families, friends and significant others. Do we take the individuals we are looking after and our loved ones for granted? Are we doing enough?
A lovely journey turned sour. Listening to promises like We will be here tomorrow mum. Listening to lies like We are just popping out to buy something and we’ll be back soon. Listening to honesty that We are going to leave you mum, we are both working and the children are at school and there is no one to look after you, you are in good capable hands. Straight talk breaks no friendship. It is a bitter pill to swallow, but honesty goes a long way and lies have shorter legs. These neither make things easier for the clients nor for the professionals who are looking after them because they will always echo throughout their lives and delay their time to settle.
The promised land – flowers and smiles, pens down and gloves off, a spectacular welcome to the delight of the family and significant others. Both parties are happy with the exception of the client who is emotionally drained by the process and disorientation in every aspect. He/she is the main focus, just as the doctor has ordered, perfect, what a superb treat?
Life is a struggle, but dementia is more than a struggle. When your life is turned upside down, maintaining the balance is a big challenge. The myths surrounding the disease are daunting and when faced with this problem you really need caring, supportive and understanding professionals, care-givers, families and friends.
Dementia is clouded with loads of malpractices and mis-judgments. Tom Kitwood (2005), reflecting on malignant social psychology states that if we come close to the details of how life is lived, hour by hour and minute by minute, we can see many processes that work towards the undermining of people who have dementia.
Quoting and adding to his original work, he further stresses that the term malignant does not, however imply evil intent on the part of the caregivers, most of their work is done with kindness and good intent, and the malignancy is a part of our cultural inheritance. His list contains, with seven further added elements the following:
Treachery: Using forms of deception in order to distract or manipulate a person, or force them into compliance.
Disempowerment: Not allowing a person to use the abilities that they do have; failing to help them to complete actions that they have initiated.
Infantilization: Treating a person very patronizingly (or matronizingly
) as an insensitive parent might treat a very young child.
Intimidation: Inducing fear in a person, through the use of threats or physical power.
Labelling: Using a category such as dementia, or organic mental disorder
, as the main basis for interacting with a person and for explaining their behaviour.
Stigmatization: Treating a person as if they were a diseased object, an alien or an outcast.
Outpacing: Providing information, presenting choices, etc. at a rate too fast for a person to understand; putting them under pressure to do things more rapidly than they can bear.
Invalidation: Failing to acknowledge the subjective reality of a person’s experience, and especially what they