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    I've Tried Everything & Nothing Works: Empowering Your 12 & Under Child to Overcome Severe Emotional and Behavioral Challenges
    I've Tried Everything & Nothing Works: Empowering Your 12 & Under Child to Overcome Severe Emotional and Behavioral Challenges
    I've Tried Everything & Nothing Works: Empowering Your 12 & Under Child to Overcome Severe Emotional and Behavioral Challenges
    Ebook130 pages1 hour

    I've Tried Everything & Nothing Works: Empowering Your 12 & Under Child to Overcome Severe Emotional and Behavioral Challenges

    By A.J. McMahan

    ()

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    About this ebook

    The switch flips and all "H.E. double hockey sticks" breaks loose! What happened to the wonderful, sweet, caring child that was here just a minute ago? 

     

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPower of Able
    Release dateOct 5, 2021
    ISBN9781950685721
    I've Tried Everything & Nothing Works: Empowering Your 12 & Under Child to Overcome Severe Emotional and Behavioral Challenges
    Author

    A.J. McMahan

    A.J. McMahan has over 20 years experience as a Licensed Counselor in Arkansas and has dedicated his career to empowering youth, adults, and families to have healthier and more peaceful lives. He has helped thousands discover lasting solutions that work for their families. His extensive experience comes from a variety of treatment milieu, such as private practice, inpatient treatment, regular and alternative schools, a domestic violence center, drug rehab, as well as inner city work and church outreach. His values culminate in loving God, loving his family-his wife Heather and children, Tyra and Isaac-and helping others reach their God-given potential.

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      Book preview

      I've Tried Everything & Nothing Works - A.J. McMahan

      Copyright © 2021 A.J. McMAHAN.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

      Contents

      Introduction

      Chapter 1   Confusion

      Chapter 2   What’s Wrong with My Child?

      Chapter 3   Brain Development/Neuroscience

      Chapter 4   Internal Temperamental Affinity

      Chapter 5   Environment

      Chapter 6   What Do I Do About It? L.E.A.P.

      Chapter 7   Love – The First Step of L.E.A.P.

      Chapter 8   Expectation of Excellence

      Chapter 9   Affirming Accountability

      Chapter 10   Perseverance

      Introduction

      Almost daily in my office I see a dedicated caregiver like you with a child who has problems they don’t fully comprehend or know how to address—people who are hurting, frustrated and confused. Your child is likely very smart. That same child is sometimes wonderful and sweet, and at others a confusing, frustrating enigma. For perhaps months or even years, you have tried to help your child overcome the problems that concern you, but despite your exhaustive efforts, the situation has only worsened. You have hoped in vain that your child would outgrow the problems or at least that some method you’ve tried would help; but nothing has produced lasting results. Nothing has truly worked. Despite popular myths, we cannot control our children. If we could, you wouldn’t be reading this book.

      You likely feel a combination of frustration, confusion, worry, sadness, anger, and failure; perhaps you even feel you are at your wit’s end. You want desperately to know what’s wrong with your child and what to do about it, but regardless of your efforts to find answers, you still don’t have them.

      Your child has one or more of the following major concerns:

      •Doesn’t listen

      •Does only what he wants to do

      •Has a hard time accepting no or not getting his way

      •Tests limits

      •Throws tantrums

      •Has trouble paying attention in school

      •Acts out in school and/or in public

      •Won’t stop, won’t be still

      •Shuts down to the point that no one can get through for a time

      •Focuses for hours on activities he enjoys but struggles with other responsibilities

      •Is academically unmotivated; turns in work late or not at all

      •Acts disrespectful

      •Behaves aggressively

      •Displays uncontrollable emotional outbursts

      •Cries out for help, expressing that they want to be good but can’t

      •Acts defiant; lacks respect for authority

      •Respects and listens to men more than women

      •Feels remorse for bad choices, yet continues to repeat those bad choices

      Children with these issues either have been or likely will be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Impulse Control Disorder, Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder or some other childhood behavior disorder. Though you may be wondering why your child has these problems, you may also wonder whether your child can get better.

      You are not alone. In Little Rock, Arkansas, where I practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert with children and families, I see before me almost every day caregivers with the same story about pre-teen children…My child behaves in ways I don’t understand or know how to help her change.

      My purpose for writing this book is so that we can help your child not only overcome these difficulties but also succeed beyond what you might think possible right now. God has led me through a journey of learning and discovery that has equipped me to help you and your child powerfully and effectively.

      My goal is to empower you on a path of understanding why your child is struggling and to assist you in creating a Plan to help your child overcome the trouble. With help, you can develop a powerful belief both in what you’re doing as a caregiver and in your child’s ability to succeed. This book can help you accomplish these goals through the same proven methods I’ve used to help thousands of children and families overcome the most serious and troubling emotional and behavior problems.

      The decisions you make now about how to move forward in light of the challenges your child is facing will set a course for either long-term success or immediate improvement but long-term disempowerment, discouragement and your child viewing herself as broken or defective. What you do now will affect your child for the rest of her life, and it is my desire to help you fight for both your child and your legacy.

      This book is not for those looking for a quick fix. A quick fix does not exist; hope, answers, and solutions that will last a lifetime do. When we discuss what to do about what’s wrong with your child, work the principles in this book completely and thoroughly. Your child needs to learn what he is capable of in order to build confidence and live a happy and successful life. We have the chance to help your child experience transformation; please don’t miss it.

      I know you can do this. I know your child can overcome tantrums, hitting, poor academic performance, disrespect, irresponsibility, emotional outbursts, trouble focusing, not listening, social challenges, shutting down and blowing up. You are the key. You always have been. I don’t say this to place blame, but to empower you. You need to know that you are not a failure; you never were. You’ve been confused, you’ve been deceived, you’ve been blamed, you’ve been given information with the appearance of wisdom; but that is slowly crippling your child. Now, we can cast aside blame together and take up genuine understanding in its place. Together, we can help your child learn what she is really capable of and not only correct the problems, but build character and a powerful belief in God and himself.

      If you don’t have time or are unsure you are ready to see this through with an open mind and dedication, please put down the book and pick it up when you are ready. There is a time for you to read this book and absorb what God has for you. It may be now, or it may be later; but don’t fail to listen to yourself and your needs. Trust God. Wait until you are ready. When you are, let’s do this. Your child is worth every ounce of time and pain you will pour into helping your child achieve true success, happiness and safety. After you have experienced your hopes fulfilled, share this book with someone else. Let’s change the world, together, one child at a time. Let’s begin with yours.

      CHAPTER 1

      Confusion

      Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.

      —Isaac Newton

      I’ve come to learn that one of the greatest obstacles hindering caregivers from being the most powerful force in motivating a child to do everything we hope for him is confusion. Confusion is the death of conviction and consistency. Sure, caregivers are convicted to help their child succeed, but they don’t know the most beneficial answers to the following two questions: what’s wrong with my child, and what do I do abou t it?

      Loving caregivers like yourself don’t want to do anything to make their child worse. They don’t want to be too soft, but they don’t want to be too hard either. Caregivers want to help, not hurt, their children. The problem is twofold: you’ve never had the opportunity to this point, first of all, to know exactly what is causing your child’s problems, and secondly, to focus on what is the most effective way to help your child succeed.

      When caregivers are in this confused state they change tactics, don’t agree on what to do with co-caregivers and others, and are hindered in doing the Most Effective Actions on a daily basis to help their child succeed. This hindrance is enough to produce a feeling of failure. The enemy uses confusion to cripple us just enough to make us miss the mark in helping our children succeed. As long as we are confused, we can’t act with conviction; and we can’t be consistent about what we believe is best for our child.

      I present in this book what consistently helps thousands of children and families that I have the privilege of counseling. I will begin by sharing information about why children struggle; as I do, you will likely recognize pieces of information that are at the root of why your child is struggling. I know the information presented may not

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