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    Be Gentle With Me. More Legendary Twaddle.
    Be Gentle With Me. More Legendary Twaddle.
    Be Gentle With Me. More Legendary Twaddle.
    Ebook57 pages51 minutes

    Be Gentle With Me. More Legendary Twaddle.

    By Thomas Daw

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    About this ebook

    Be Gentle with me is the 3rd Book by Thomas Daw, originally written back in 2017. Be Gentle is after National Treasure, but you don't have to read

    the books by Thomas Daw in a series.

     

    In Be Gentle With me, Thomas Daw tells us about the legendary Games Room, and we learn about how black dogs are trying to take over the earth. We learn about the curious legend of Marvin Magnavox, and Thomas both moans and whines at times?

     

    Hilarious, crazy, funny. Definitely different. Be Gentle With Me is a strange read for anyone.

    Is it lies? Is it real? You decide.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Daw
    Release dateNov 19, 2021
    ISBN9798201350208
    Be Gentle With Me. More Legendary Twaddle.

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      Book preview

      Be Gentle With Me. More Legendary Twaddle. - Thomas Daw

      This book is dedicated to all the wonderful parents in the world, who shield the children from harm and make us who we are.

      This book is also dedicated to the white people of Kenya, Mr. Blobby and the Jews.

      Contents (Spunkerdink).

      The Return of the Legend. Page 4.

      It’s About Those Books, Thomas. Page 13.

      Three Cheers for Thomas Daw. Page 26.

      The Games Room. Page 33.

      Black Dogs on The Moon. Page 52.

      Oh hello, how are you? Page 60.

      Marvin Magnavox. Page 70.

      Fact or Fiction? You decide. Page 76.

      Think You Know Thomas Daw? Think Again. Page 87.

      The Real Me. Page 98.

      The Return of The Legend.

      Yes, hello again everyone, It’s me Thomas Daw. The one you thought shagged your Mum last week, but then you found out it was someone else. We do have a fucked-up sense of humour down here in the murky depths of almost sunny Cornwall. Well, nobody else finds it funny, but I fucking well do, which is all that matters.

      Apart from fuck all, what I love about Cornwall the most, is that everyone and their sister comes here on holiday, and we earn fucking less than just about the entire country. It’s fucking wonderful starving to death whilst everyone has an ice cream on the beach. We are the inbred scum of the fucking earth in Cornwall, and you all want us to shag your sisters, so you can stay down here and eat ice creams all fucking day nom nom. Just think, if we didn’t have shit little pasty shops, supermarkets, takeaways, hairdressers, farms and beaches, we would be fucking nothing at all. What a pride it is to pretend that our hillbilly bollocks county matters. We don’t give a shit, move down here and spread the pollution with the other human vermin, after all, it’s half of fucking Yorkshire down here anyway. What do you mean, the good half?

      People don’t realise, but I am actually a very serious, supple, methodical person. I have been described as an individual on multiple occasions. People are queuing up to see me naked since the release of the last two books, but I only let the women have a good look. There is no sense in pretending that I am totally serious in this or any other book I have written, unless it is about martial arts. When you have a thundercock like mine, a sense of humour and the strongest martial arts skills for decades, how can you possibly take life seriously? If I lived anywhere else, I would either be dead, or I would be a fucking millionaire celebrity motherfuck by now. Down here in redneck paradise, even Brad Pitt would get turned away by all the women, and probably bummed by his old man. We have women so ugly, you’ll be glad you’ve brought your own with you.

      Believe me, I have no fucking idea if I am taking the piss or not. The line between serious and insane was crossed many years ago, and I cannot turn back. I absolutely know what I am doing here, and I am doing it on purpose, just like Michael Barrymore only not gay at all. I swam 800 metres once. Please have mercy on my tiny work of fiction. Compared to all the yawn fests out there, it could be described as ‘original’ and even ‘one of a kind’. I didn’t mean to be creative and fucking stand out like a sore thumb, it just happened naturally, like me and your sister when she pretended to be my aunty.

      Any who, I do hope you enjoy this book, and realise that I am blending the truth with fiction at all times. Most of this book is the truth, and any good-looking woman should masturbate after reading it. Why on earth anyone would even pick up this bollocks and read it is anyone’s guess.

      If I can make just one little African boy smile from reading this book, then my job is done. I do not mean to offend anyone with any portion of this book. Supercunt 9. Yet if you are the type of person who is easily offended, please go and watch Tv or do something productive for a fucking change.

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