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Broken and Redeemed: Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender
Broken and Redeemed: Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender
Broken and Redeemed: Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender
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Broken and Redeemed: Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender

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Broken and Redeemed is the story of one man’s journey, beginning with John Jarman’s troubled childhood and challenges as an adult, and resolving as he finds redemption in the grace of God. 

John Jarman openly writes his challenges, failures, losses, and blessings on the pages of Broken and Redeemed. While exploring himself through counseling and mentorship, John was led to completely surrender his life to Jesus, finding strength in faith and power through the presence of the Holy Spirit in his life. He shares with readers what helped him reach this critical juncture and transformation in his life, along with relevant self-reflection and discussion questions for group or personal use. 

It is John Jarman’s desire that Broken and Redeemed guides readers through a deeper examination of their faith—one that exposes how accepting Christ is easy but walking in true obedience will place them in situations they never thought they would encounter. John knows that listening to God’s voice and following it will lead willing believers on the path He wants to take them; when they get on board with Him, that is when they truly begin to live!

LanguageEnglish
Release dateApr 5, 2022
ISBN9781631958304
Broken and Redeemed: Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender
Author

John Jarman

John Jarman is a professional fitness coach and men’s discipleship leader with a passion for seeing lives changed by Jesus Christ. A former football coach and Marine Corps veteran of Desert Storm, John’s life was radically transformed from a self-destructive trajectory to one of life, wholeness, and a dynamic walk with Christ, a story that is told in the pages of Broken and Redeemed. John holds a master’s degree in Physical Education from Ohio University, and, as of this writing, is close to completing a Master’s degree in Theology from Faith Seminary in Tacoma, Washington, where he resides.

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    Book preview

    Broken and Redeemed - John Jarman

    PREFACE

    Christina Holland said to me in one of our counseling sessions that I should write a book. Well, Christina, here it is. Seven years later, I’ve finished the book; thank you for planting the seed.

    It took a couple of years for me to begin writing, and six years to complete it. My resistance was twofold: first, I didn’t believe my story was worth telling or that anyone would read it. Secondly, I didn’t think I was strong enough in my faith to begin the work, let alone complete it. I wouldn’t completely give in to God’s plan. I questioned everything, and the Spirit continued to work in me. So, I started writing and looking for a ghostwriter, which I never found. After working on the book for about two years, I stopped and put it on the shelf, on hold.

    It wasn’t until I found myself in the middle of what my friend and mentor, Pastor Eric Boles, called the perfect storm, followed by four months of daily prayer, that the Holy Spirit led me to pick up my manuscript again and finish writing my story. Then, the writing stopped again when I enrolled in seminary in pursuit of a Master of Theology degree and the knowledge I felt I needed (more on that later). I did this after much counseling with my spiritual mentor and brother, Scotty Kessler.

    I was asked numerous times if I was going to become a pastor. I always answered that question the same way: I do not know what God has planned for me, but I am doing this for knowledge so I can have a better understanding of Jesus, God the Father, and the Bible. If the Lord’s plan is that I preach the gospel, then that is what I will do. It is in His hands.

    I was fifty years old when I truly started learning who God is and what some of His plan is for me. The title of this book, Broken and Redeemed, came to me one day during my prayer and study time, so I know it came from the Holy Spirit. We are all broken, but the good news is that when we are ready to come home, we are redeemed. God is waiting for you, just as He waited for me. This is what this book is about. I hope that as you read my story, you will see that the broken, poor, and meek are the ones Jesus came to be with. I read that God made us without our permission but will not save us without our consent; we have to be open to being healed and saved.¹ This is a spot-on statement. And that is my story.

    Jesus told the story of the prodigal son to show us that no matter what we do or how lost we become, the Father is waiting, and He rejoices when we return home. We are all broken in many ways. Each of us may feel we are the only one who has ever gone through what we are going through, but the truth is, we aren’t. Many have stood where you are standing, walked the road you’re walking. The good news is that we are all redeemed because Jesus went to the cross for us. He redeemed us on the cross and restored our relationship with God.

    My knowledge now comes from many areas: the Bible, Faith Seminary, Scotty’s teachings, Christina’s counseling, church, numerous books, and many Christian artists such as MercyMe, TobyMac, Jeremy Camp, For King & Country, Micha Taylor, and others. I will touch on these more throughout the book. I am not a pastor, or a theologian, or a history professor, or a Bible professor. I am just a flawed, broken human who knew nothing of Christ, the Church, or the Bible until my young adult years. The only mention of God growing up was by my grandmother (MamaDel), when I visited her in Arkansas. She would always tell me, Johnny, God has a special plan for you. I think MamaDel was right, and part of that plan, I believe, is the book you are holding in your hands.

    In this book, I will tell the story of how I came to know Christ, the mistakes I made along the way, and the things I have learned (and continue to learn) through the messy but glorious walk with Jesus. One of my favorite Christian authors, A.J. Swoboda (whom you’ll see quoted often in this book), said, Christianity is surprisingly messier than what I signed up for.² I agree!

    I will share with you the redemption that Christ has for us through what He did on the cross for you and me. I will make every effort not to make this about me, but about Him. This is really His story—He is in control; it took me years to understand that.

    I once heard a pastor say, You can’t have a conversion without a conversion story. My hope is that my story will help just one person understand that no matter what you have been through, or what you might have done, or how long it takes you to come home to Christ, the Holy Spirit is always with you, even when you don’t know it or want it. TobyMac has a song called Scars (Come with Livin’) and I think all of us can attest to that. The good news is that scars came for our redemption; maybe Jesus was trying to teach us something on that dark day. No matter our scars or the pain that we have gone through, are going through, or are about to go through, we are redeemed by His scars.

    I’ll never forget when I read the following: It does mean that he knows if this book will sell, yet he won’t tell me ahead of time when I want to know. Someone still needs to write it.³ The very next day for the My Daily Bread post, in the promise series, came Hebrews 10:36, Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised (NLT). I knew right then what the Spirit was telling me. I knew I had to pull out this partially written manuscript again and sit down at the computer and get it finished.

    I need you to understand I am not proud of some of the stories you are going to read. But I am proud of the man I have become with God’s help. There were times in my life when I thought I was a man of God, but I was fooling myself. More accurately, I was what Pastor Andrew Toeaina calls a Submarine Christian. I surfaced on Sunday and then went underwater during the week. This was my Christian walk for years. But in November of 2016, I truly gave my life completely to our Lord Jesus and started trying to walk the walk. I started reading, listening to, and truly understanding the Word of God. Romans 7:14-21 helped me see the roller coaster I was on and why I did the things I did:

    So, the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So, I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. (NLT)

    I did not get this scripture at first. I had to meditate on it for a while; then it hit me. As Christians, we understand the law and we want to do what is right, but we don’t always do it because of our sinful nature. Please don’t get me wrong; this does not excuse us from our sin, nor does it justify our sin. It did help me to understand that, even as a Christian, I still have sin. It just doesn’t go away when we come to Christ, and we all must be aware of this.

    My transgressions are many and I am working toward purification through the Lord. I take full responsibility for my actions and have asked for forgiveness from those whom I have hurt. We all fall, but what do we do when we fall? Do we stay in the darkness? We will stumble from time to time, even when we find true relationship with Christ. Following Jesus is not about being perfect; none of us are perfect. It’s about repentance.

    God’s Word says we find salvation and sanctification through Christ Jesus. Working through my sins and confronting my mistakes has been painful, but I’m finding freedom. My hope and prayers are that this book gives someone else the same freedom I now have in the Lord. I am not writing this for you to feel sorry for me; I see this book as part of my repentance and healing. I have heartfelt sorrow for those touched by my sin. The changes in my behavior and thinking have been the work of God. James McDonald captures this change perfectly: The growth I have seen has been in three areas: first, the length of time between failures has become much longer, second, the amount of time it takes to see my fault and apologize has become shorter, and third, my awareness of when I might be tempted so I can avoid the situation altogether has become acute. Less failure, less severe, fewer excuses, but still not perfect.

    For the protection of the people in my story, and the respect and consideration of others, some names have been changed and selected people and details have been omitted from this account. My intent is to tell the story God has given me to tell, without hurting anyone or causing more pain from my sins.

    Thank you for reading my story. My prayer is that it touches your heart in some way and you take something from these pages that you can use in your life. May you find the peace in Christ as I have, and may God truly bless you.

    I have placed questions at the end of each chapter to help you look into your relationship with God. These questions will challenge you and hopefully deepen your faith. They will help you examine yourself and your walk. They don’t need to be completed as you read this book. You can come back and answer them later, or, if you choose, you can get a group together and read a chapter a week and then discuss your answers with one another. If you choose this option make sure that you are with a trusted group, and that you all agree that what is said in your study stays in that study room.

    My goal with this book is to simply share what God has done for me, and how my life and faith have changed since I started my walk with Him. If you are already a Christian, I hope this helps your faith increase. If you are not a follower of Jesus, and you return home to the Father, that would be the biggest blessing. Whatever your situation, I hope you enjoy this book no matter where you are in your walk with Him.

    ~ John Jarman

    Chapter One

    REDEMPTION

    Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became a slave to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But—when God our Savior relived his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous thing we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out his Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. (Titus 3:3-7, NIV)

    In November of 2016, I encountered the biggest storm I’ve ever experienced. I had become a believer in Jesus and was moving closer to God in my daily prayer and reading time. Then the trials came pouring

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