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    The David Attenborough Activity Book: An Unofficial Lovefest
    The David Attenborough Activity Book: An Unofficial Lovefest
    The David Attenborough Activity Book: An Unofficial Lovefest
    Ebook278 pages1 hour

    The David Attenborough Activity Book: An Unofficial Lovefest

    By Nathan Joyce

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    About this ebook

    A highly diverting celebration of television’s favourite naturalist, packed with games, trivia and Attenborough-inspired activities.

    Attenborough. Just saying the name makes everyone feel better. Words like 'dependable', 'inspiring' and 'soothing' cascade like the rains returning to the sun-parched savanna. And according to a recent poll, he's the most trustworthy person alive, above Michelle Obama and The Queen.

    As the saga of Boaty, McBoatface showed (the research ship was finally called RRS Sir David Attenborough), British people love silliness. And this book is a celebration of our two favourite things: Attenborough and silliness.

    You'll find games like Guess the animal from David's description, the David Attenborough drinking game, Create your own Attenborough coat of arms, Spot the fake species, Attenbingo, come up with a new animal print design for David's patented blue shirt in Patternborough, and if you find yourself in times of trouble, seek solace with the What would Attenborough do? self-help guide. Everything you've ever wanted to know about the great man – from fun facts and remarkable quotes, plus ludicrous games – lies within the sustainably forested habitat of these pages. It's the perfect present for, well, anyone, really.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins UK
    Release dateJun 29, 2018
    ISBN9781911622222
    The David Attenborough Activity Book: An Unofficial Lovefest
    Author

    Nathan Joyce

    Nathan Joyce is the author of a number of books, including A Celebration of David Attenborough: The Activity Book, The History of Insults, The Big Book of Trump and The Royal Geographical Society Puzzle Book, and has contributed to many others, including Chronologica: The Incredible Years that Defined History and Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards. He lives in Brighton with his wife and son, and is just happy someone other than them likes his jokes.

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      Book preview

      The David Attenborough Activity Book - Nathan Joyce

      INTRODUCTION

      This book is a tribute to my idol (and everyone else’s for that matter), who captivated me aged seven when I first saw The Trials of Life. David’s sitting down on a rock on a Christmas Island beach while millions of red crabs clamber past him. Well, I say ‘past’ him. Most of them try to clamber over him. He remains characteristically unflappable and his passion and boundless energy fill the screen as much as the crabs do.

      There are few situations that David’s soothing tones would not improve. Captain and First Officer unconscious in cockpit? It’s OK, Attenborough’s on board. He’ll figure it out and get the plane down calmly. Can’t put together that Ikea furniture? Just ask yourself what would Attenborough do. The 7:18 train from Brighton to Victoria is delayed (again)? Suddenly David voices the apologetic announcement. Everyone feels better. And they remember to recycle too.

      And despite David’s cultural crown jewel status, he didn’t even reach the podium when the public was asked to name Britain’s polar research vessel in 2016. How is that possible? He’s the most unilaterally beloved figure in the country! A legend. An icon. Well, as much as we love Sir David, we love being silly too. And so, this book is a celebration of these two things, and incidentally my favourite two things: Sir David Attenborough and silliness.

      So what’s inside? All sorts of things that will keep you entertained! It’s part puzzle book, part biography, part fascinating fact book (‘Species Named in David’s Honour’), part quiz book (‘The Ultimate Nature Quiz’) and part ridiculously silly activity book (design a new shirt for Sir David in ‘Patternborough’).

      And there’s the occasional serious bit on an infographic. Because at the heart of everything Sir David does is a vital message. We live on an extraordinary planet and must protect it and its remarkable diversity for future generations. And like Sir David, there’s no reason we can’t have fun while we’re doing it.

      GUESS THE ANIMALS

      Can you guess the animals David’s talking about?

      1‘It looks like a survivor from the age of the dinosaurs. Huge claws and 60 serrated teeth can cause terrible damage.’

      A Giant Anteater

      B Komodo Dragon

      C Cassowary

      D Nine-banded Armadillo

      Illustration

      2‘He’s going to have to use trickery. He tones down his colours and tucks in his arms. He’s just the right size to mimic a female.’

      A Giant Cuttlefish

      B Panther Chameleon

      C Winged Seahorse

      D North American Tree Frog

      3‘Walking on thin ice is always risky. And it’s hard to retain one’s dignity, especially when you’re wearing stilts.’

      A Arctic Hare

      B Andean Flamingo

      C Reindeer

      D Snow Goose

      4‘He’s only the size of a pencil and he eats ants … He can travel over 100 feet in a single leap.’

      A Draco (Flying) Lizard

      B Horse Lubber Grasshopper

      C Zebra Black Spider

      D Panamanian Golden Frog

      5‘One of the most voracious nocturnal predators is also one of the hardest to see. This mysterious creature hardly ever appears on the surface of the dunes. It’s no bigger than a ping-pong ball.’

      A African Pygmy Hedgehog

      B Carpenter Ant

      C Tiger Beetle

      D Golden Mole

      6‘It only does it once a week, but why does it come down to the ground to do it? And why does it nearly always choose to do it in exactly the same place?’ (Bonus point for the activity David is talking about.)

      A Olive Baboon

      B Peruvian Spider Monkey

      C Green Tree Python

      D Three-toed Sloth

      7‘This family is resting between bouts of feeding. Who knows what the owners of the biggest brain in the planet dream about.’

      A Sperm Whale

      B African Elephant

      C Killer Whale

      D Bottlenose Dolphin

      8‘The young male aims for the rump. The old bull targets his rival’s legs. The old bull is down. Is this the end of his reign? He knows a knockout blow is coming. But the old bull ducks, and strikes a blow to his rival’s underbelly. Out for the count. The old bull is victorious, but only just.’

      A Giraffe

      B African Elephant

      C Common Hippo

      D Red Kangaroo

      (Answers on page 187.)

      WIT & WISDOM

      FUNNY QUOTES

      ‘Well I’m having a good time.

      Which makes me feel guilty.

      How very English.’

      (On the perils of Britishness.)

      ‘I suggested a documentary on geology, but it never got off the ground!’

      (It turns out David has a penchant for puns.)

      ‘I just love a good leaf.’

      (And who doesn’t?)

      ‘The problem with rats is they would run the place given half the chance, and I’ve had them leap out of a lavatory while I’ve been sitting on it.’

      (On his least favourite creature.)

      ‘About 70 or 80 men jumped onto the track, brandishing knives and spears. To say I was alarmed is to put it mildly… I walked towards this screaming horde of men, I stuck out my hand, and I heard myself say Good afternoon.’

      (The personification of calm when confronted by a tribe of armed cannibals.)

      ‘We could shoot him ...

      It’s not a bad idea ...’

      (On what to do about Donald Trump.)

      Illustration

      THE MOST TRUSTED PEOPLE

      OnePoll.com surveyed 2,000 Britons in January 2018 to discover which celebrity was the most trustworthy. I applaud them for their sensible decision-making. The top ten were:

      1    David Attenborough

      2    Tom Hanks

      3    Michelle Obama

      4    Prince William

      5    The Queen

      6    Morgan Freeman

      7    Prince Harry

      8    Stephen Hawking

      9    Barack Obama

      10  Judi Dench

      Illustration

      PUZZLES

      1

      Sir David’s full name (plus titles) is

      Sir David Frederick Attenborough, OM, CH, CVO, CBE, FRS, FLS, FZS, FSA

      How many letters of the alphabet are not included above and what are they?

      2

      Which Attenborough magic moment involved the sound of a camera shutter, then a car with its alarm going off, and finally a chainsaw?

      (Answers on page 187.)

      THE ORDER OF MERIT

      Founded in 1902 by King Edward VII, the Order of Merit honours exceptional service in science, art, literature or in public service. The exclusive order is restricted to only 24 members and allows members to use the letters OM after their name. After receiving the honour, Sir David said:

      ‘How could anyone believe they actually deserved something like this?’

      Legend. The current holders are:

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