From Heart Break to Whole Again: A 21 Day Devotional for Single Women

Copyright © 2022 Sarah Pond.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-5760-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-5762-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-5761-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022902732

WestBow Press rev. date: 07/06/2022

CONTENTS

Preface

Day 1 Smash the Time Clock

Day 2 Understanding God’s Love

Day 3 A Truly Good Father

Day 4 Pain

Day 5 The Victim

Day 6 Mind Traps

Day 7 Hope

Day 8 The Wilderness

Day 9 Worthlessness

Day 10 Codependent

Day 11 Understanding Attraction

Day 12 Finding Community

Day 13 Time Out

Day 14 What’s The Point?

Day 15 Harmful Coping Mechanisms

Day 16 Comparison

Day 17 Loneliness

Day 18 Gift

Day 19 Matchmaker

Day 20 Filled With The Spirit

Day 21 Continuing The Fight

Closing Note

Acknowledgments

About the Author

PREFACE

The purpose of this transformative 21-day devotional is to begin healing your heart from past heartbreaks, create a deeper understanding of who God is, create a deeper understanding of who you are, and, most importantly, help you understand the love of God. I spent years trying to understand heartbreaks. Why they were so debilitating? Why I never seemed entirely healed from past relationships, why I could never find the right guy, why my heart didn’t ever seem safe? I don’t know all of the answers, but I can tell you that along my journey, I picked up some life-changing information that, I hope, will bring the same healing to you that it brought me.

So, I am so excited that you have chosen to read this devotional. I hope and pray that it will be an ignition that lights your desire for Jesus and will allow him to heal your heart from past wounds so that you can step into the goodness He has for you. This is a 21-day devotional and was designed that way with a purpose. First and foremost, it takes 21 days to create a habit. I hope that carving out intentional time for yourself to grow each day becomes a habit. Secondly, the number 21 appears in the Bible in many circumstances relating to cleansing, salvation, reliance on God, and reset. That is what I want for you that you are reset and refreshed, ready to enter into the good promises that our God has for you.

Each day is a different topic that discusses a specific lesson God taught me throughout my single season. Each lesson contains a song that got me through the learning of that lesson. My suggestion would be to get out your Bible or Bible app (I used NIV), read the devotional, close in prayer, and then listen to the song in the car or during a time when you can be alone. Some of the passages from the Bible are included, but some I ask you to look up and read. I want you to get comfortable being in the Word. And a lot of time, it will feel like an extra step that you might be inclined to skip, but it is the most crucial step, way more important than anything I say.

You might find some topics uncomfortable or painful and feel the need to pull away. That is okay. Take all of the time you need. I only hope to encourage you to learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, as it will help you to grow. As you begin to push yourself in this way, you may start to unravel years of defense mechanisms that were subconsciously put in place to protect you in the short term but hurt you in the long term. It is difficult, but it is so good. If you can push through this short season of being uncomfortable, you will begin to see the fruit of your labor show in many aspects of your life.

You might not agree with all of my thoughts on the Bible and theology. In my opinion, you don’t need to. I would just chew up the meat and spit out the bones, as they say. If you are offended, perhaps think about why it offends you and ask the Lord to reveal the truth you need to get from it. This may be something that He wants to change in you. I have come to hold everything loosely except Christ and Him crucified.

Anyways, let me pray for you as you start this journey: God, you know the heart of this reader, not only at this very moment but since you created them. You long for their heart, God. I can feel your longing for them in my chest. And while I might not know them personally, you have given me insight into their struggles and sadness, which overwhelms me. How you want to love them, wrap them up, and heal their wounds. God, I pray you give this reader an open mind as they turn the pages and an intense thirst for your word. I pray for endurance and peace through the difficult pages. I pray that my words are not enough and that they long to further seek your words in scripture. I pray that you make yourself known today. To you, be the glory, power, and honor forever and ever. Amen.

DAY 1

SMASH THE TIME

CLOCK

Song: Fade Away - Live by Passion

featuring Melodie Malone

I grew up in the South, where there is this ridiculous phenomenon that starts at midnight on your twenty-fifth birthday that I titled The Rat Race to Marriage.’ It is this heavy societal burden put on single women, especially in the church, to find a somewhat compatible man and get married as fast as possible. Regardless of where you grew up or where you are in life, I am sure that you, in your single season, have experienced some version of this time pressure. Whether it is prompted by friends getting married, fear of fertility complications due to age, or lack of significant life achievements, it can seem like time isn’t on your side. This pressure is made greater by the endless engagements, weddings, and births posted daily on social media that taunt, You are late to the game! You need to start experiencing momentous life events now." And while I know that you are happy for those around you and are genuinely celebrating with them, the weight is real. It is something that I would bet most single women experience at some point in their life, but I am here to tell you that contrary to popular belief, time (especially in singleness) is on your side, and you can trust God with your desires.

Do not spend this precious time wishing it away or thinking that your life will not begin until you are married. No, this is it! Look around! This time right here is so precious. Welcome to the group I like to call kingdom singles. This kingdom is about big love, big growth, and big blessings. If you spend this season embracing this time with the Lord, you will see Him move in ways only read about in the Bible or heard of in third-world countries. You will find fulfillment that will last a lifetime and ultimately discover that you are more prepared for marriage. So, take a breath, smash the clock, and lean into what God has in store for you during this time.

Before we dive into the scripture for today, let me give you some context about the passage we are about to read. This passage was written to the ancient Israelites after being captured and put into captivity by a foreign nation called Babylon. The Israelites lost hope in God during this exile and thought that other gods must be stronger than Him since He allowed them to get captured. Relatable, right? How often do we turn to other avenues when we feel that God isn’t working in our lives? So, this chapter is God responding to the doubts and accusations of the people of Israel. Listen to what God is saying to those of us who doubt His provision. Go ahead and get out your Bible and read Isaiah 43.

In Isaiah 43: 1-5, we get a tiny glimpse of the feelings of God toward His creation (us):

You are mine - my heart melts when I hear this.

You are protected - thank you, Lord!

You are loved - by an incredible father.

When you walk through fire, you will not be burned.

Can you feel the longing of God’s heart when trying to express to His creation the love that He has for us? Honestly, it must be hard to describe love with no limits to a limited human mind. And the chapter just keeps getting better. I am going to skip forward to Verses 16-21 because this stuff makes my heart sing:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I have to admit that I don’t think God is specifically talking about marriage here; he is talking about the hope for a savior, but it is more of a character statement: He is a good dad. He is passionate in his love for us; he claims us, protects us, and works in ways that we cannot see right now. Knowing those character traits of God gave me solace from the aforementioned time pressure by giving me hope for the future. Here, God says, I am doing a new thing! Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. We cannot see past this moment, but God does and is doing more extraordinary things than we could ever dream. And prior to that statement, He is describing his vast love for us. So maybe, if He loves us so profoundly, can do more than we could ask for, and is planning our future for ultimate good, don’t you think that you can trust Him with your desires?

Matthew 7:7-11 says, ‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"’

He is moving time and space for you because He is a good father. He loves you.

My friend Ashley Smith told me this sweet story about her father that so wonderfully encompasses the extravagant love of God. Ashley did the World Race, an international mission trip where you serve in 11 countries in 11 months. After finishing the race, Ashley’s flight back to the US would be connecting in New York City. She decided that it would be an opportune time to switch her flight and stay in New York for a couple of days to see the sights. She had rationed enough money to where if she could