Finding Your Best Identity: A short Christian introduction to identity, sexuality and gender
By Andrew Bunt
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About this ebook
Who are you? And how can you find who you are?
Andrew Bunt has wrestled with these questions. At one point in his childhood, he thought he might be a girl in a boy’s body. As he grew up and discovered he’s same-sex attracted, the world started to tell him that his sexuality is his identity. And for many years, he believed the lie that he was a freak and a weirdo, assuming that’s what everyone thought of him.
In this short Christian introduction to identity, Andrew explores and examines different ways we can discover who we are. Blending his personal story with careful Bible teaching and genuine cultural awareness, this is a book to get conversations going and help us all understand our best identity.
With questions for discussion and reflection, and an application exercise to end the book, Finding Your Best Identity is a practical and profound introduction to some of the biggest questions we all face.
Andrew Bunt
Andrew is part of the leadership team at King’s Church Hastings and Bexhill and is also a speaker and writer with Living Out. He studied theology at Durham University and King’s College London, specialising in biblical studies and biblical languages. He loves helping people to understand and apply the Bible and loves wrestling with big cultural issues. Andrew is the author of 'Who In Heaven's Name Do You Think You Are?' (2014) and 'People Not Pronouns: Reflections on Transgender Experience' (Grove Books, 2021). He is also a regular contributor at thinktheology.co.uk.
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Finding Your Best Identity - Andrew Bunt
Our understanding of who we are shapes so much of how we feel and the way we act, especially when it comes to matters of sexuality and gender. This is a helpful, honest and sympathetic guide for those looking for solid ground to stand on. Highly recommended!
—Sam Allberry, pastor, author of Is God Anti-Gay? and What God Has To Say About Our Bodies
Andrew has written something remarkable and significant. With heartfelt honesty about his own experiences, he lays out a compassionate and clear case for a God-given identity. This is essential reading for anyone working with young people who may be struggling with sexuality or gender issues, but it will also be deeply challenging for anyone who wants to better understand their Christian identity.
—Robin Barfield, associate minister for children and families at Christ Church, Wharton and a visiting/adjunct lecturer at Oak Hill, Union and Cliff College
Sociologically aware, pastorally sensitive, biblically rooted – Andrew Bunt’s work provides a helpful introduction to why questions of identity are crucial to mission and ministry today, especially amongst emerging generations.
—Gareth Crispin, lecturer in practical theology and programme lead for BA Mission and Ministry, Cliff College
Parents need this book! The topics of identity, gender and sexuality are suddenly everywhere. Andrew reassures us that God is not taken by surprise. His better story is all we need to help our children navigate today’s changing cultural landscape.
—Ed Drew, Director, Faith in Kids
Finding Your Best Identity is a warm, thoughtful, and life-affirming approach to some very deep questions. Accessible to all, Andrew tells us his story and helps us on our journey to discover who we are. Generous, insightful and genuinely helpful, this book will leave you wanting more.
—Ian Galloway, director of the Free Church Track and lecturer in leadership and mission, Cranmer Hall, Durham University
Nothing captures today’s cultural zeitgeist more profoundly than the claim ‘I identify as …’. Drawing on his own journey of godly formation of sexual attractions and desires, Andrew skilfully introduces his readers to some of the complex questions of identity and personal meaning. Firmly rooted in Christ, he points us to a deeper and more solid foundation for our sense of self.
—Glynn Harrison MD, retired consultant psychiatrist and emeritus professor of Psychiatry
Andrew explains clearly the flaws present and the difficulties experienced when a person allows their inner self and/or the ever-changing societal expectations to define who they are. There is, however, hope for the individual. In receiving their identity based on God’s design and purpose, explains Andrew, the believer can acknowledge, address and even resolve how they are feeling without straying from the solid understanding of who they are. In an increasingly confused world, this short book is a treasure that should be studied and discussed by every church youth group and Sunday school class.
—Jeannette Howard, speaker and author of Dwelling in the Land: Bringing Same-Sex Attraction Under the Lordship of Christ
In Finding Your Best Identity, Andrew Bunt explores the power our core identity – or controlling self-understanding – has over us. He shows how both traditional and modern identities are unstable and ultimately crush us when we fail. Only our God-given relationship with Jesus provides an identity that is not fragile and that allows honesty and vulnerability without shame. It’s an identity that cannot be taken away by changing experience, by the opinion of others or even by death itself. While Andrew explores these competing identities in conversation with sexuality and gender, this is a book that will benefit any current or potential follower of Jesus.
—Greg Johnson, pastor of Memorial Presbyterian Church in St. Louis, USA and author of Still Time to Care: What We Can Learn from the Church’s Failed Attempt to Cure Homosexuality
With radical openness, personal experience, sensitivity and grace, Andrew approaches this minefield of a topic with one clear aim in mind: to help all people. The clarity here is vivid. The counsel here is godly. The freedom offered is persuasive. For all who want to be fully known and fully loved, this will point you in the right direction of true identity.
—Tope Koleoso, lead pastor, Jubilee Church London
This is a much-needed book in a society where there is such overwhelming pressure to look inside ourselves and discover our true identities. It is a book I wish I could have read as a young adult – I wrestled with doubts and questions about who I was until I realised that I am who God says I am and that he rejoices over me with singing!
—Julie Maxwell, community paediatrician and member of the General Synod
Andrew has written a book on identity that is concise, clear and practical. Whilst he applies his arguments particularly to matters of sexuality and gender, the principles in the book would be of great value to every person made in the image of God. Andrew provides a strong but easily understood critique of how our culture constructs identity. He then argues persuasively that a God-given identity frees us from the insecurity and pressure of letting either other people or our own feelings decide who we are.
—Stuart Parker, True Freedom Trust
There is no more important question in contemporary culture than ‘Who am I?’ Andrew Bunt tackles this head on, by asking the essential, deeper question ‘How would I know?’ He draws movingly on his own experience, and engages both with issues in popular culture and the reality of established research to address the question gently but directly. The result is truly impressive – a persuasive, compassionate and life-giving answer that will help so many. Take and read!
—Ian Paul, associate minister, St Nicholas’ Church, Nottingham; adjunct professor of New Testament, Fuller Theological Seminary
With refreshing honesty, Andrew writes as someone who has walked through dark valleys whilst questioning his own identity. His reflections will help anyone facing similar struggles; they are a roadmap to guide us out of shame and confusion, and towards our Creator’s good intention for each one of us.
—Mark Pickering, CEO of the Christian Medical Fellowship
‘Who am I?’ is one of the fundamental questions humans ask. Where we look for our answers is one of the most important decisions we can make. In this helpful, hopeful little book, Andrew helps us evaluate the possible options, and gives some practical, biblical advice on how to experience our best identity.
—Jennie Pollock, author of If Only: Finding Joyful Contentment in the Face of Lack and Longing
If you are struggling with your identity or know someone who is, this book will help you. Andrew writes with great honesty, clarity and understanding. If you are wrestling in your personal or public life with these realities or issues, I think you will read with increasing relief and gratitude. Two scriptures kept coming to mind ‘In your light, we see light’ (Psalm 36:9) and ‘You will know the truth and the truth will set you free’ (John 8:32).
—Keith Sinclair, national director, Church of England Evangelical Council
Andrew Bunt is quickly becoming one of my favorite writers on sexuality and gender, and this new book did not disappoint! Andrew combines biblical precision with pastoral compassion as he addresses two fundamental questions: Who are we? and How do we know? We live in a world where a myriad of voices and influences are trying to tell us who we are. Andrew graciously navigates us through the confusion and offers a theologically compelling case for finding our best identity—one that actually leads to human flourishing.
—Preston Sprinkle, Ph.D., president of The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender
Compassionate and compelling, insightful and instructive, Andrew Bunt’s excellent book sheds light and brings clarity to a subject often distorted by emotion and conflict. Few things are more important than establishing your true identity. I urge you not only to read it