Listen to Sell: How Your Mindset, Skillset, and Human Connections Unlock Sales Performance

Praise for Listen to Sell

"At last, a refreshingly different book about selling that elevates the role of sales to the level it deserves. We applaud the authors’ emphasis on the process of building trust via genuine listening. Listen to Sell identifies solid research and then makes it practical and applicable. It is the new bible for those aspiring to succeed at this noble profession."

John Zenger & Joseph Folkman, coauthors of

The New Extraordinary Leader

"Listening is the secret sauce of successful sales—and this book unveils the recipe for mastering it. Listen to Sell is a must-read for anyone looking to create loyal customers."

Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager

and Raving Fans

"Mike Esterday and Derek Roberts know more about sales than anyone I know. Listen to Sell has all the tools you need to make yourself a better salesperson."

Dr. Travis Bradberry, bestselling author of

Emotional Intelligence Habits

"The best salespeople are dedicated to making a difference and improving the lives of customers. Mike Esterday and Derek Roberts spell out clearly why selling, at its heart, is about establishing your true purpose and unlocking your internal drivers. Listen to Sell helps you have the right conversations with yourself, and then teaches you how to carry that sense of purpose into your conversations with your customers."

Lisa Earle McLeod, bestselling author of Selling with Noble Purpose

In sales, there’s a time to talk and there’s a time to listen. Get that right, and you get the sale. Get it wrong, and you get frustration. This practical book shows you how to get it right.

Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Coaching Habit

and How to Work with (Almost) Anyone

"Listen to Sell is a timely reminder that selling doesn’t happen until we listen first to our customers. My father, Stephen R. Covey, put it this way: ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’ Asking great questions is important but useless if we haven’t learned to listen. Mike Esterday and Derek Roberts show us why being an emotionally intelligent salesperson, one who diagnoses (listens) before prescribing (offering our solution), is essential for enduring success as sales professionals."

David M.R. Covey, CEO of SMCOVEY and

bestselling coauthor of Trap Tales

"A valuable primer and welcome reminder of the uniquely human factors that make the difference in sales. Listen to Sell helps you tap into the mindset, skillset, and strategies to show up with confidence and break through to new levels of performance. Best of all, it’s grounded in a set of principles that reinforces the value you bring to the table and will make you proud to be part of the sales profession."

Karin Hurt, founder and CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders

"Effective selling today is all about actively listening to clients to find out their goals and objectives and then—and only then—creating customized solutions. Listen to Sell is an excellent book to help you deliver superior selling experiences through the power of listening."

Dr. Tony Alessandra, coauthor of The Platinum Rule

and Communicating at Work

"The results we achieve in sales begins with our mindset and how we prepare. Listen to Sell is the step-by-step guide every salesperson needs to be successful in today’s market. You don’t read this book, you apply it."

Mark Hunter, The Sales Hunter

"Listening creates more successful conversations. Listen to Sell outlines the conversations you need to have with yourself and your customers. When you listen more and deepen these conversations, satisfaction and sales success will follow. Listen to me—read this book!"

Kevin Eikenberry, chief potential officer at the Kevin Eikenberry Group and author of Remarkable Leadership

"Listen to Sell is a groundbreaking exploration into the heart of authentic selling. This book stands out as a beacon in today’s fast-paced sales environment, teaching us that true success lies in understanding and valuing our customers. From the intricate art of conversation to the transformative power of mindset, Listen to Sell is a must-read for anyone serious about elevating their sales journey—an absolute masterpiece in the realm of sales literature."

Farshad Asl, bestselling author and leadership expert

Mike Esterday and Derek Roberts share what to do for real sales success. You must ask relevant questions and then listen—truly listen—to your customers’ responses. The authors start with your mindset—what messages you must give yourself for success and how to ensure you have a customer focus. They then introduce you to a logical, sequential sales process that will keep you on track. As a result, you will be a more competent and confident sales professional.

Elaine Beich, author of Skills for Career Success and

The New Business of Consulting

"Listen to Sell should be required reading for every salesperson on the planet—it gets right to the heart of everything you need to hit home runs. The authors make it clear that success is all about building good relationships and having regular, meaningful conversations. Learn all the sales skills you will ever need in this wonderful book."

Joe Scarlett, retired chairman of Tractor Supply Company

Mike Esterday and Derek Roberts nailed it. The new order of selling starts with listening and being truly values driven and customer focused.

Ken Taylor, CEO at Training Industry, Inc.

"I have always believed it is attitude, not just aptitude, that differentiates the successful from the less successful. It really is the combo of mindset and skillset that will set you apart. If you nodded ‘yes’ to that statement but don’t know the how-to, grab Listen to Sell to learn just that!"

Bev Kaye, coauthor of Love ’Em or Lose ’Em

An insightful and robust read with practical ‘Coaching Corners’ at every turn to provide sales professionals with the guidance and tools they need to be successful.

Howard Farfel, CEO of TalentSmartEQ

Copyright © 2024 by Integrity Solutions, LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the publisher or a license from The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For a copyright license, visit accesscopyright.ca or call toll free to 1-800-893-5777.

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

The terms AID,Inc.®, Integrity Selling®, Integrity Coaching®, and Behavior Styles®, the Behavior Styles Model graphic, and the AID,Inc. Sales Conversation Model graphic are registered trademarks of Integrity Solutions. The terms Sales Congruence Model™, The GAP Model™, and Coaching Moments™, and the Sales Congruence Model graphic are trademarks of Integrity Solutions. All rights reserved.

Cataloguing in publication information is available from Library and Archives Canada.

ISBN 978-1-77458-489-7 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-77458-376-0 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-77458-377-7 (ebook)

Page Two

pagetwo.com

Edited by James Harbeck

Copyedited by Jenny Govier

Proofread by Alison Strobel

Cover and interior design by Fiona Lee

Indexed by Maura Blain Brown

Printed and bound in Canada by Friesens

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Distributed in the US and internationally by Macmillan

Ebook by Legible Publishing Services

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Contents

Why We Wrote This Book

How to Use This Book

Introduction

Part One

Mindset: Conversations with Yourself

1

Establishing Purpose

2

Internal Beliefs

3

Getting in Sync

Part Two

Skillset: Conversations with Customers

4

Communicating Human to Human

5

The AID,Inc. Sales Process

6

Approaching to Establish Rapport

7

Interviewing to Identify Needs, Challenges, and Goals

8

Demonstrating Your Solutions

9

Validating So People Believe Your Claims

10

Negotiating to Work Through Concerns and Objections

11

Closing to Ask for the Appropriate Action

12

Preparing for Sales Success

13

Ten Techniques for Outstanding Preparation

Part Three

Coaching Conversations for Skill and Will

14

Sales Coaching

15

The Emotionally Intelligent Salesperson

16

Self and Team Assessments

Conclusion: Choosing to Deliver a Different Selling Experience

Acknowledgments

Appendix

Integrity Selling Values and Ethics

Behavior Styles Checklist

Virtual Meeting Tips

GAP Analysis Questions

Notes

Index

Why We Wrote This Book

Too many sales leaders and sales professionals have been misled.

They have been programmed with scripted statements or questions designed to pressure customers into doing something. They talk too much, demonstrate too quickly, and negotiate as if there is only one winner. They’ve been indoctrinated in a process that’s built entirely around persuasion and getting the deal. And they’ve been told that to be successful, they need to be bolder, more self-assured, and more convincing, even if it feels contrary to their internal values and true selves.

This view of selling keeps a lot of very talented, high-potential people trapped. It’s the kind of thinking that gets in the way of real success, which includes job satisfaction as well as material rewards. It’s also why we often say sales is the only profession that seems to be consistently defined by those who do it badly.

At its core, selling is about asking smart, relevant, compelling questions to uncover needs that the salesperson can address. But that’s only half of the sales equation. Great questions are useless if you are unwilling or unable to truly listen to the answers. This may seem obvious, but the reality is, most salespeople are not great listeners. Fully engaging your ears and brain is a more difficult task than you might think. It takes practice, skill, and will.

It’s not easy to be in sales these days. The sales ecosystem is growing more and more complex, with long buying cycles, numerous and unpredictable stakeholders, and a customer base that’s both well informed and distracted—and pretty confident they don’t need us. What’s more, the exponential increase in digital interactions has overloaded us all with enough data and analytics to make the techiest of heads spin.

For too long, those in the sales profession have been shortchanged by wrong-headed notions of what sales success requires and what it looks like. As the selling environment has evolved in recent years, many are beginning to question whether their role still has meaning. Some are wondering whether they even want to be in sales anymore.

This is why we wanted to write a book that celebrates sales as a profession and the salesperson as a respected, valued partner. At Integrity Solutions, after fifty-plus years of working with over 5,000 companies and several million graduates of our programs from 130 countries, we can confidently say that professional salespeople today are needed more than ever. And for the salespeople and sales leaders out there, there have never been more opportunities to be successful and fulfilled in your work.

There is a catch. To be effective, you need new tools, new skills, and more training. Then again, that’s always been the case in the ever-changing world of sales. In this book, you’ll discover that the secret to sales success lies in mastering the human elements in sales—the universal people principles and behaviors that apply regardless of what is happening in the industry today, last year, or ten years from now.

There are two fundamental factors that make Integrity Solutions a different company and this a different kind of book.

First is our unwavering commitment to a values-based, customer-focused approach to selling. Integrity is in our name on purpose. If you are manipulating your customers—or believe you are—you will limit what you can achieve. But when you build trusted customer relationships grounded in integrity, you will be valued and respected by others and confident and motivated within yourself. This is why we emphasize listening as the essential thread that runs throughout the entire sales relationship. Customer-focused selling requires that we remain present and intent on hearing and understanding what our customers are actually saying. It is how we value them, and it is why we are trusted when offering solutions to meet their needs.

Second is our proprietary methodology for becoming a truly great salesperson. Our research has found that achievement drive, self-belief, and attitude are keys for your selling success. For those of you who feel you’ve reached a plateau, there are specific actions you can take to get yourself unstuck. You will get beyond whatever roadblocks you are currently facing. This book shows you how.

This book is not for you if you’re looking for sales gimmicks or some magic formula that quickly turns a hesitating customer into someone ready to sign on the dotted line. Our methods aren’t complicated, but they do call for discipline and an open mind.

Most important, they hinge on you. When a product can be ordered online with a click, robots can step in and take care of the sale. But where there are complexities related to the human side of selling, it takes human-focused approaches. It takes coaching, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness. It takes you to make the journey mutually beneficial, fulfilling, and successful.

We wrote this book to lay out our principles of selling better with integrity. We’ve filled it with examples and insights from our own experience, along with tips, exercises, and assessments. When you use this book to help you learn and grow, you will transform sales into a different kind of experience for your customers—and for yourself.

As we like to say, if someone has a negative view of salespeople, they just haven’t met you yet!

Mike Esterday

Derek Roberts

How to Use This Book

The book is designed to reach salespeople from a wide selection of roles and responsibilities. While some examples may not be in your industry or type of sales, focus on the universal principles you can apply to specific areas or circumstances that relate to you.

•

Read straight through or jump to the chapters you believe will help you most. Keep in mind, however, there is a reason for the way the chapters are ordered. Learn the selling principles first, and then learn how to coach to them.

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The Appendix includes practical resources and tips. Links in the text direct you to free