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If you’re struggling to find your personal style, you’re not alone. You’d think figuring out what you like to wear would be intuitive, but it’s rarely that straightforward. Especially these days when it feels like we’re all just copying what we see on social media in order to keep up with the multitude of “aesthetics” we’re told to emulate, to the point where maybe nothing feels personal anymore. I’ve been in fashion for 10 years and I still get lost in the myriad of trends and microtrends that seem to be coming and going quicker than ever.
What I’ve found helpful in grounding myself are a few simple tips that I learned while working as a personal stylist in New York City at a styling firm called Visual Therapy, which worked with Manhattan’s most powerful women. Founders Jesse Garza and Joe Lupo published a book called Life in Color, in which they explain how to decipher which colors suit you as well as the five style archetypes that could help you identify the brands and clothing items you feel drawn to.
The book is by no means meant to be prescriptive but rather serves as a guide for those looking for a starting point. Most of us do not sit neatly in one style type but instead straddle two or even three buckets. But keeping these parameters in the back of my head has helped me dodge a few bad purchasing decisions since then.
There are endless factors that contribute to one’s personal style—body type, personal preferences, and even peer pressure—but as I get older, I’ve found that time is probably one of the best teachers as I shed layers of insecurity and become more at home in my own skin. And when you look at the most iconoclastic stars, they stand the test of time because they know what they like and stick to their style. Just look at Sienna Miller—our eternal boho queen has rarely deviated from her signature style and has found herself becoming a key reference point in recent months as all things ’70s come back in fashion.
But—in the spirit of a brand-new year—you might be looking to shake things up a little in the fashion department. Whether you want to downsize, upgrade, or begin to figure out how to buy and wear things you genuinely love, here are five steps to follow to help you find your personal style that I often suggested my clients use.
1. What’s your style type?
The first thing we did when working with a new client at Visual Therapy was ask them about their style type. The easiest way to do figure it out? Think of a few celebrities or other influential people whose style you’ve always admired. This will organically lead you to some brands and hero pieces you’re likely most drawn to. At a loss? Try some keywords like “classic,” “bohemian,” “feminine,” “Y2K,” or “quiet luxury.”
When I’m at a loss for new ways to style my clothes, I still look to certain celebrities or content creators who I feel match my style type for inspiration. It’s important to reiterate that most of us sit at the intersection of various style types and maybe dip more heavily into one or another depending on the season or time in our lives.
2. Are you truly comfortable wearing it?
As much as I love the look of super-straight jeans, every single time I’ve bought a pair, they sit in my closet collecting dust, which means I like them—just not on me. Of course, we’re all entitled to wear whatever the hell we want, but the truth is, certain styles mesh naturally with our personal comfort zones.
The last thing you want when stepping out into the world is to feel awkward in your clothes—no tugging, pulling, or crossing your arms to hide what you have on. Once you’ve chosen your style type(s), understanding the fits of clothing that you like—shrunken, oversized, body-skimming, relaxed, skin-tight—helps you narrow down the plethora of choices. If you don’t feel confident in it, regardless of how much you like it on the hanger, maybe you just have to make like Elsa and let it go.
3. Do you actually like it?
Having relatively small feet for my height, I’ve always liked the way I looked better in pointy shoes that elongated my silhouette. That’s just a personal preference that I try to apply to any trend that comes along. For instance, ballet flats were all the rage this summer, and while I very much wanted to participate, I decided to hold out for styles I knew would look better on my body and ultimately make me feel more comfortable.
Similarly, I’ve never liked the look of chunky shoes, so while the “dad” sneaker was making a comeback, I steered clear of it altogether even though I did admire the way other women styled it. Don’t try to force yourself into trends if they don’t resonate with your core style.
4. Is it realistic for your life?
Sometimes the needs of our busy lives end up dictating many elements of our style. Does your job require a long commute or running to meetings outside the office? Those things factor heavily into what we end up wearing every day. No matter our style preferences, we still need to be realistic. Consider the most worn items in your closet, which will be good indicators for what you actually reach for when you need to get dressed in the dark, then try to find elevated versions of that. Is your go-to sweater a tomato red fast-fashion find? Next season think about investing in an accessible luxury version you know you’ll reach for regularly.
As a rule of thumb, before I purchase any new item I always try to see if I can think of three outfits I’d be able to wear it with before taking the leap. If you’re looking to reassess your current wardrobe to identify your style, take each item out and see if you can wear it three different ways. If not, maybe it no longer belongs in your repertoire.
5. How committed are you to trends?
This is where you have to have an honest conversation with yourself. I can’t tell you how many trends I’ve fallen victim to (hello, low-waist jeans) that I now cringe at, but that’s all just part of the process. I’ve tried very hard to convince myself that I’d wear those thigh-high white patent boots, but alas, I’m just not that girl.
The older I get, the less bothered I am by the trends that surface every week, knowing that at the end of the day, personal style is less about what you wear and more about how you wear it. And remember, it’s not an exact science—be sure to have fun.
This story first appeared in Glamour UK.
