I feel a little dehydrated today after the marathon I did yesterday. And by marathon I mean the emotional undertaking that was SEEING LES MIS. Turns out Anna was not kidding around. I heeded her demand, and I saw the light. The movie was a masterpiece.
But wow, was I ever cried out afterwards. There were a few points during the two-hours-and-then-some at which the theater sounded like a sniffle symphony. I saw it with four people, and we all choked up at different parts. The weeping comes from two places, right? You're crying because heart-wrenching things happen, but you're also crying because you're seeing and hearing things you love with all your heart.
Let's see how you score as a Les Mis crier. Some of the film's most poignant moments are below. For each moment, add the listed points if you cried—skip if you didn't.
Opening Credits No judgment here. This was a monumental day for most of us. +3
Valjean's Soliloquy My mom started crying more or less as soon as Hugh Jackman started singing. "He told me that I had a soul. How does he know?" +3
I Dreamed a Dream. Here we make way for most of America, who sobs at Anne Hathaway's powers.+1
When Fantine cuts her hair. +2
Fantine's Death. "And tell Cosette I love her and I'll see her when I waaaaake..." +1
When Valjean takes Cosette away and buys her the doll. That was her dream. +3
Do You Hear the People Sing? (first time) Because it's the first stirrings of the revolution, people! +1
A Heart Full of Love Because it's beautiful that Cosette and Marius are meeting, but poor Eponine. +2
ONE DAY MORE. Did anyone else have to physically restrain themselves from standing and clapping at this part? +1
On My Own. This song is my heart. I remember being personally pissed when Katie Holmes sang it on Dawson's, as if it belonged only to me. +2
A Little Fall of Rain. Poor, poor, poor Eponine. +1
The barricade, just everything. Everyone looked so young and scared. +3
When Enjolras and his compatriot raised the flag before the soldiers shot them. Did Aaron Tveit not steal the show? +2
Javert pinning his medal on Gavroche's body. This was where my tears flowed over and just never stopped. +3
Bring Him Home. Oh, Hugh. +3
Javert's suicide. Hey, he's a person too, and something about Stars really gets me. +3
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables. I just wanted to wrap Eddie Redmayne in a blanket and make him tea. +2
Valjean stealing away without saying goodbye to Cosette. A saint until the end. +2
Finale. Fantine reappearing, looking rested. Valjean walking into the beautiful candlelight. "To love another person is to see the face of God." And the people singing. +1
End credits. Because it was over, and you were so overwhelmed. +3
The next day, merely listening to the soundtrack, thinking about it, discussing it with a friend, or—ahem—writing a post about it. +3
Now add 'em up!
35 points or more: Honorary Miserab. You are the teariest of the fans, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You can't even read this through your tears, can you?
20-35 points: Fantine Faucet. You were more or less doing a steady, hysterical stream with occasional whimpers the whole way through.
10-20 points: Calm like Cosette. Waterworks were in full effect, but you managed to keep them quiet and relatively restrained.
1-10 points: Tough like Gavroche. You swallowed the lumps in your throat and kept a stiff upper lip worthy of a revolutionary.
0 points: You ARE Javert.
Now tell me your scores and your Les Mis sob stories!
