What do you think?
Rate this book
How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain
In this honest, friendly, and shame-free guide, the creator of the award-winning YouTube channel How to ADHD shares the hard-won insights and practical strategies that have helped her survive, even thrive, in a world not built for her brain.
Forget “try harder.” When your brain works differently, you need to try different .
Diagnosed with ADHD at age twelve, Jessica struggled with a brain that she didn’t understand. She lost things constantly, couldn’t finish projects, and felt like she was putting more effort in than everyone around her while falling further and further behind. At thirty-two years old—broke, divorced, and living with her mom—Jessica decided to look more deeply into her ADHD challenges. She reached out to experts, devoured articles, and shared her discoveries on YouTube.
In How to ADHD , Jessica reveals the tools that have changed her life while offering an unflinching look at the realities of living with ADHD. The key to navigating a world not built for the neurodivergent brain, she discovered, isn’t to fix or fight against its natural tendencies but to understand and work with them. She explains how ADHD affects everyday life, covering executive function impairments, rejection sensitivity, difficulties with attention regulation, and more. You’ll also find ADHD-specific strategies for adapting your environment, routines, and systems,
• Boost the signal and decrease the noise . Facilitate focus by putting your goals where you can see them and fighting distractions with distractions.
• Have less stuff to manage. Learn why you have trouble planning and prioritizing, and why doing more starts with doing less.
• Build your “time wisdom.” Work backward when you plan, and track how long it actually takes you to do something.
• Learn about your emotions. Understand how naming your emotions and letting yourself experience them can make them easier to regulate.
With quotes from Jessica’s online community, chapter summaries, and reading shortcuts designed for the neurodivergent reader, How to ADHD will help you recognize your strengths and challenges, tackle “bad brain days,” and be kinder to yourself in the process.
Forget “try harder.” When your brain works differently, you need to try different .
Diagnosed with ADHD at age twelve, Jessica struggled with a brain that she didn’t understand. She lost things constantly, couldn’t finish projects, and felt like she was putting more effort in than everyone around her while falling further and further behind. At thirty-two years old—broke, divorced, and living with her mom—Jessica decided to look more deeply into her ADHD challenges. She reached out to experts, devoured articles, and shared her discoveries on YouTube.
In How to ADHD , Jessica reveals the tools that have changed her life while offering an unflinching look at the realities of living with ADHD. The key to navigating a world not built for the neurodivergent brain, she discovered, isn’t to fix or fight against its natural tendencies but to understand and work with them. She explains how ADHD affects everyday life, covering executive function impairments, rejection sensitivity, difficulties with attention regulation, and more. You’ll also find ADHD-specific strategies for adapting your environment, routines, and systems,
• Boost the signal and decrease the noise . Facilitate focus by putting your goals where you can see them and fighting distractions with distractions.
• Have less stuff to manage. Learn why you have trouble planning and prioritizing, and why doing more starts with doing less.
• Build your “time wisdom.” Work backward when you plan, and track how long it actually takes you to do something.
• Learn about your emotions. Understand how naming your emotions and letting yourself experience them can make them easier to regulate.
With quotes from Jessica’s online community, chapter summaries, and reading shortcuts designed for the neurodivergent reader, How to ADHD will help you recognize your strengths and challenges, tackle “bad brain days,” and be kinder to yourself in the process.
464 pages, Hardcover
First published January 2, 2024
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 393 reviews
December 21, 2023
TLDR: This is the best book I have ever read about ADHD and I have recommended to several people, including those who have ADHD and those who do not. I have offered to buy it for people so they read it. Read this book. You won't regret it.
I have read several books about ADHD to try and manage my symptoms. All other books have been difficult for me because I felt like they were condescending, ableist, and used shame when explaining ADHD and suggesting coping mechanisms. This book is the complete opposite of that. It is full of coping mechanisms that are manageable and varied for different people, needs, and preferences. The author also breaks down the science of brains and ADHD in a way that is clear and simple without being condescending. She infused so much empathy and compassion into this book between her experiences and including others experiences that I cried several times from feeling so seen and hopeful. I can't recommend this book enough. Please buy it and buy it for everyone you know, whether or not you have ADHD.
I have read several books about ADHD to try and manage my symptoms. All other books have been difficult for me because I felt like they were condescending, ableist, and used shame when explaining ADHD and suggesting coping mechanisms. This book is the complete opposite of that. It is full of coping mechanisms that are manageable and varied for different people, needs, and preferences. The author also breaks down the science of brains and ADHD in a way that is clear and simple without being condescending. She infused so much empathy and compassion into this book between her experiences and including others experiences that I cried several times from feeling so seen and hopeful. I can't recommend this book enough. Please buy it and buy it for everyone you know, whether or not you have ADHD.
December 20, 2023
I've followed Jessica McCabe's work for awhile, so I was curious about this book! I am sure it is going to be popular with the ADHD crowd.
This book is well-written in a conversational style. McCabe shares many stories from her own life as someone with an ADHD brain. It's a quick and easy read, well designed visually, with lots of ways to break up the text. She designed this book for ADHDers to read, and it shows. This book was a labor of love.
The "toolkit" sections describe different ways that ADHDers can address specific challenges they might face. I think these sections especially will be helpful for neurodivergent folks and I might come back to some of them myself. There are also a lot of quotes from ADHDers throughout the book, which highlights a variety of experiences - yay for lived experience!
The big criticism I have is that McCabe doesn't actually question the narrative that ADHD is a "disorder." It is, indeed, a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference but that doesn't mean it's an abnormal way to be. This book doesn't get there though. It's still using the language and ideas of the pathology paradigm.
While McCabe argues that ADHDers need support, she rarely discusses environments like school and work needing to change to support neurodivergent people in any substantive way. I'm not just talking about helping break up assignments into manageable tasks. I want to talk about the inherent problems in coercive schooling and the inhumane work expectations that have been normalized, to everyone's detriment. There's a reason ND folks are called the canaries in the coal mines.
This book is all about how ADHD brains can adapt to their specific challenges, instead of pushing back on why the environments are set up that way in the first place. She regularly quotes Dr. Russell Barkley's work on ADHD, which is heavily medical model with a bioessentialist flare (ie. ADHD causes alcoholism, car crashes, etc). As opposed to, this world is not set up in a way that most ADHDers and other ND people can thrive, which causes trauma and all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I was hoping for a lot more of the neurodiversity paradigm in this book. Overall, I found it interesting, but I won't be recommending it except perhaps for the very specific tips sections.
I wavered between ratings of three or four stars on this book. I do think it's well written and will resonate with a lot of people. For me personally, this book would get three stars, but I'm bumping it up to four because it is still one of the better ADHD books out there. Most of them are very heavily pathology paradigm, and this one at least brings in a lot of lived experience both from McCabe and many other ADHDers.
I'm hopeful that we will see more ADHD books based in the neurodiversity paradigm soon. I also recognize that many ADHDers do have significant struggles and may have internalized messages about all of their "areas of deficit." This book might be just what they need.
Thanks to NetGalley and Rodale Books for the ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.
This book is well-written in a conversational style. McCabe shares many stories from her own life as someone with an ADHD brain. It's a quick and easy read, well designed visually, with lots of ways to break up the text. She designed this book for ADHDers to read, and it shows. This book was a labor of love.
The "toolkit" sections describe different ways that ADHDers can address specific challenges they might face. I think these sections especially will be helpful for neurodivergent folks and I might come back to some of them myself. There are also a lot of quotes from ADHDers throughout the book, which highlights a variety of experiences - yay for lived experience!
The big criticism I have is that McCabe doesn't actually question the narrative that ADHD is a "disorder." It is, indeed, a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference but that doesn't mean it's an abnormal way to be. This book doesn't get there though. It's still using the language and ideas of the pathology paradigm.
While McCabe argues that ADHDers need support, she rarely discusses environments like school and work needing to change to support neurodivergent people in any substantive way. I'm not just talking about helping break up assignments into manageable tasks. I want to talk about the inherent problems in coercive schooling and the inhumane work expectations that have been normalized, to everyone's detriment. There's a reason ND folks are called the canaries in the coal mines.
This book is all about how ADHD brains can adapt to their specific challenges, instead of pushing back on why the environments are set up that way in the first place. She regularly quotes Dr. Russell Barkley's work on ADHD, which is heavily medical model with a bioessentialist flare (ie. ADHD causes alcoholism, car crashes, etc). As opposed to, this world is not set up in a way that most ADHDers and other ND people can thrive, which causes trauma and all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I was hoping for a lot more of the neurodiversity paradigm in this book. Overall, I found it interesting, but I won't be recommending it except perhaps for the very specific tips sections.
I wavered between ratings of three or four stars on this book. I do think it's well written and will resonate with a lot of people. For me personally, this book would get three stars, but I'm bumping it up to four because it is still one of the better ADHD books out there. Most of them are very heavily pathology paradigm, and this one at least brings in a lot of lived experience both from McCabe and many other ADHDers.
I'm hopeful that we will see more ADHD books based in the neurodiversity paradigm soon. I also recognize that many ADHDers do have significant struggles and may have internalized messages about all of their "areas of deficit." This book might be just what they need.
Thanks to NetGalley and Rodale Books for the ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.
November 20, 2023
I was first introduced to Jessica McCabe by the psychologist who had performed neuropsych testing on our daughter, At one point in our discussion, she pulled up one of Jessica's videos and said that it would explain, much better than she, the way the ADHD brain works. At that point I was hooked.
How to ADHD, the book is just as amazing. McCabe, who is neurodivergent herself, explains in simple terms how the neurologically different brain processes information and offers tips and strategies on how to navigate a world that is not designed for them. She teaches the reader that the goal is not to force your brain to work in the same way as the majority of people - that is not going to happen. The goal is to implement real tangible strategies to learn how to work with your brain. As she says "Forget “try harder.” When your brain works differently, you need to try different."
She has more to offer than just shared experiences and strategies. McCabe also shows you how to recognize your strengths and instills a confidence and validation that may not present in many of the readers.
She does not pretend to have the cure. What she has is a toolkit to help you thrive in your life. In this book, Jessica McCabe shows that she sees you. You are not alone. You are wonderful just the way you are.
This should be required reading for families of and ADHD individuals. I know my copy is already on pre-order.
My thanks to NetGalley and Rodale Inc. for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
How to ADHD, the book is just as amazing. McCabe, who is neurodivergent herself, explains in simple terms how the neurologically different brain processes information and offers tips and strategies on how to navigate a world that is not designed for them. She teaches the reader that the goal is not to force your brain to work in the same way as the majority of people - that is not going to happen. The goal is to implement real tangible strategies to learn how to work with your brain. As she says "Forget “try harder.” When your brain works differently, you need to try different."
She has more to offer than just shared experiences and strategies. McCabe also shows you how to recognize your strengths and instills a confidence and validation that may not present in many of the readers.
She does not pretend to have the cure. What she has is a toolkit to help you thrive in your life. In this book, Jessica McCabe shows that she sees you. You are not alone. You are wonderful just the way you are.
This should be required reading for families of and ADHD individuals. I know my copy is already on pre-order.
My thanks to NetGalley and Rodale Inc. for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
January 15, 2024
This is a good primer for ADHD tools, but as someone who follows the author’s Youtube, I think the videos best present the same concepts. I found the writing a little wordy and repetitive, and the length and number of footnotes distracting.
YMMV; some of the tools simply won’t apply to most people - outsourcing tasks, asking your boss for a “flexible” start time, ect.
This is touched on briefly, but the author’s perspective of ADHD is that of someone white, middle-class, and who has control of their own work schedule. I would have liked if the book more specifically brought up the expectations of being neurodiverse under the increasingly severe conditions of capitalism. There is a chapter on changing the world and its systems, but the discussion felt too vague and generalized.
YMMV; some of the tools simply won’t apply to most people - outsourcing tasks, asking your boss for a “flexible” start time, ect.
This is touched on briefly, but the author’s perspective of ADHD is that of someone white, middle-class, and who has control of their own work schedule. I would have liked if the book more specifically brought up the expectations of being neurodiverse under the increasingly severe conditions of capitalism. There is a chapter on changing the world and its systems, but the discussion felt too vague and generalized.
March 5, 2024
I seem to be in the minority by not being blown away by this book, not really enough new info I didn't already know. I also thought it was too long with too much personal stuff in it. I don't think any ADHD book should be over 400 pages! I find it overwhelming to try to eke out helpful tidbits from an overlong book like this. I may read a paragraph and think, oh there is something helpful there, but then it's forgotten because the chapter goes on and on.
There was some good stuff in it and for anyone new to ADHD I'm sure it would be quite helpful.
I had to rush a bit to finish reading it to return to the library since there are a bunch of holds on it. Perhaps I'll check it out again in a few months when there aren't holds, and try to make notes from the sections I want to go back to. The chapters I would revisit would be the ones on how to feel and how to people.
There was some good stuff in it and for anyone new to ADHD I'm sure it would be quite helpful.
I had to rush a bit to finish reading it to return to the library since there are a bunch of holds on it. Perhaps I'll check it out again in a few months when there aren't holds, and try to make notes from the sections I want to go back to. The chapters I would revisit would be the ones on how to feel and how to people.
January 5, 2024
I dont know where to start with this review. I first came across Jessica through her Ted Talk (its on youtube go find it its AWESOME) Shortly after my son was diagnosed with ADHD, The Ted Talk and subsequently her youtube channel led me to suspect that I myself may also have ADHD. I Was diagnosed last year and suddenly a LOT of things that hadnt gone the way I'd hoped in my life finally made sense. I wasnt a screw up, I wasnt unfilling the potential everyone always said I had through lazyness or forgetfullness or distractability I have a brain that works differently, so differently in fact that just navigating the neurotypical world on a daily is a massive struggle.
Anyway enough about me. The book. Wow, just WOW. (Part memoir, Part Self Help, Part Toolbox for ADHDer's) is one of the bravest things I've ever listened to. Jessica's honesty and sincerity shines like a beacon throughout but particularly in the latter chapters where she deals with some of the harsh realities faced by even the most prepared ADHD "Brains" and the "Hearts" who love them. This is must read for any one with ADHD (Brains) and those who love them (Hearts) but also an incredible insight into living with Neurodiversity that will be of value to anyone and everyone.
I have absolutely no hesitation in saying this is the most important book I've ever read.
Anyway enough about me. The book. Wow, just WOW. (Part memoir, Part Self Help, Part Toolbox for ADHDer's) is one of the bravest things I've ever listened to. Jessica's honesty and sincerity shines like a beacon throughout but particularly in the latter chapters where she deals with some of the harsh realities faced by even the most prepared ADHD "Brains" and the "Hearts" who love them. This is must read for any one with ADHD (Brains) and those who love them (Hearts) but also an incredible insight into living with Neurodiversity that will be of value to anyone and everyone.
I have absolutely no hesitation in saying this is the most important book I've ever read.
May 2, 2024
I got some good tips from this book but it also felt really infantilizing lol
April 28, 2024
Footnotes are distracting.
Overall not a bad overview of ADHD for those unfamiliar with it.
Somewhat dragged out and a little wordy.
As some other reviewers mention, YT channel may work better (it does for me).
Overall not a bad overview of ADHD for those unfamiliar with it.
Somewhat dragged out and a little wordy.
As some other reviewers mention, YT channel may work better (it does for me).
August 28, 2024
Wow - it was amazing to learn about ADHD and how my brain works. Written in a very readable way, with plenty of real-life anecdotes, Jessica McCabe has created a valuable resource. Definitely recommended for anyone with ADHD, with friends or family with ADHD, or who just want to learn about ADHD.
--quick content note:
There is some occasional language (bulls-t, a-s, h-l, d-n, and the f word starred out).
**additional note for young readers - mentions of living with boyfriends/girlfriends & lgbtq topics.
--quick content note:
There is some occasional language (bulls-t, a-s, h-l, d-n, and the f word starred out).
**additional note for young readers - mentions of living with boyfriends/girlfriends & lgbtq topics.
May 1, 2024
Knygos pastabos (Juodrastis):
1. Pamirsta daiktus (pakrovejus, raktus). Tuomet zmones galvoja, kad jiems nerupi. Bet jiems rupi.
2. Darbu atideliojimas.
3. Labai ilgai ruosiasi kokiam projektui.
4. Namu darbus daro valandu valandas, nes vis mintys kitur pabega.
5. Sunku susikaupti svarbiems, bet nestimuliuojantiems darbams. Netgi jeigu is tikruju jiems tai yra labai svarbu.
6. Kai kur susikaupia taip stipriai, kad net pamirsta laiko tekme.
7. Chronic mind wondering.
8. Desision paralysis.
9. Negali planuoti, organizuoti, nebeivykdo ateities nusistatytu planu.
10. Kad ir kokia tvarka pasidaro, po 2sav vel nauja tvarka perdaro.
11. Negali laikytis savo sukurtos sistemos.
12. Sunkiai uzmiega del per daug minciu.
13. TV pries miega labai issistimuliuoja protas ir nebeina uzmigti.
14. Daznai turi drebancios kojos sindroma.
15. Tik velai nakti melatonin pasileidzia smegenyse.
16. Kafeinas pazadina, bet chaosa pajungia galvoje, per daug minciu.
17. Nesugeba apskaiciuoti laiko, pastoviai veluoja.
18. Atima labai daug laiko pats planavimas, kuris erzina.
19. Daug iki puses atliktu projektu.
20. Jeigu nemokesi valdyti emociju, emocijos valdys jus.
Ka daryti:
1. Priimti save toks koks esi, o ne toks koks turetum buti pagal socialine aplinka.
2. Mindfulness training.
3. Not doing and doing tasks.
4. Jeigu kazka reikia padaryti, tiesiog ant lapo uzrasyti.
5. Praktikuoti minimalizma.
6. Ismokti sakyti NE
7. Body Double su kitu lengviau zmogumi.
8. Susikurti savo sekmes sistema.
9. Pries miega leisti sau daryti idomius dalykus, bet ne per idomius, kad uzmigtum.
10. Klausytis ta pacia nuobodzia melodija pries pat miega, kad sukelti sau asosiacija.
11. Ieskoti idomumo neidomume.
12. Susikurti sau tinkama supporta.
1. Pamirsta daiktus (pakrovejus, raktus). Tuomet zmones galvoja, kad jiems nerupi. Bet jiems rupi.
2. Darbu atideliojimas.
3. Labai ilgai ruosiasi kokiam projektui.
4. Namu darbus daro valandu valandas, nes vis mintys kitur pabega.
5. Sunku susikaupti svarbiems, bet nestimuliuojantiems darbams. Netgi jeigu is tikruju jiems tai yra labai svarbu.
6. Kai kur susikaupia taip stipriai, kad net pamirsta laiko tekme.
7. Chronic mind wondering.
8. Desision paralysis.
9. Negali planuoti, organizuoti, nebeivykdo ateities nusistatytu planu.
10. Kad ir kokia tvarka pasidaro, po 2sav vel nauja tvarka perdaro.
11. Negali laikytis savo sukurtos sistemos.
12. Sunkiai uzmiega del per daug minciu.
13. TV pries miega labai issistimuliuoja protas ir nebeina uzmigti.
14. Daznai turi drebancios kojos sindroma.
15. Tik velai nakti melatonin pasileidzia smegenyse.
16. Kafeinas pazadina, bet chaosa pajungia galvoje, per daug minciu.
17. Nesugeba apskaiciuoti laiko, pastoviai veluoja.
18. Atima labai daug laiko pats planavimas, kuris erzina.
19. Daug iki puses atliktu projektu.
20. Jeigu nemokesi valdyti emociju, emocijos valdys jus.
Ka daryti:
1. Priimti save toks koks esi, o ne toks koks turetum buti pagal socialine aplinka.
2. Mindfulness training.
3. Not doing and doing tasks.
4. Jeigu kazka reikia padaryti, tiesiog ant lapo uzrasyti.
5. Praktikuoti minimalizma.
6. Ismokti sakyti NE
7. Body Double su kitu lengviau zmogumi.
8. Susikurti savo sekmes sistema.
9. Pries miega leisti sau daryti idomius dalykus, bet ne per idomius, kad uzmigtum.
10. Klausytis ta pacia nuobodzia melodija pries pat miega, kad sukelti sau asosiacija.
11. Ieskoti idomumo neidomume.
12. Susikurti sau tinkama supporta.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 20, 2023
I requested this book because I have family members with ADHD. It's a book to read slowly and absorb not only the words but the feelings McCabe describes. I feel like I understand better what my family members are going through as they try to fit into a world that does not understand them.
Thank you to Netgalley for an ARC of this book.
Thank you to Netgalley for an ARC of this book.
March 5, 2024
Best of the (five or so?) books I've read in this category. Clear examples of the deficits and of potential remediation. Doesn't fall into either, "woe is we" or "we are super heroes!" Fairly concise.
April 6, 2024
So helpful … as long as I can remember any of it 🤷♀️
March 11, 2024
Amazing and super helpful! It felt like Jessica was writing about my life. I connected with each chapter, not everything in each chapter, but enough to confirm my suspicion that I need to try some of the tools she mentions in each. I look forward to reading this book again, having my son read it, and sharing it with my hubby in hopes that it helps understand our brains better.
It's already helping me by confirming that I am not alone in struggles and making things quite clear. I am forever grateful that I stumbled across some of Jessica's videos and purchased this book.
It's already helping me by confirming that I am not alone in struggles and making things quite clear. I am forever grateful that I stumbled across some of Jessica's videos and purchased this book.
September 10, 2024
AMAZING AMAZING Book! Recommended it to all my clients! If you or someone you love has ADHD READ THIS BOOK 🫶🏻
May 13, 2024
How to put it… this is exactly how one imagines a book written by a YouTuber: superficial but with glitter on top, so that it appears more exciting. The famous research that apparently went into it is repeating easily available and well known facts that have already been written many times; the tools consist of lists of “do this” with a careful omission of the “how”.
Another - and more serious - issue is that despite claims, Jessica McCabe’s knowledge on ADHD is very limited and covers only what she is experiencing. She does acknowledge that this condition is a spectrum and that not everything works for everybody, but one really needs to be a certain shape and size (and have a six-figure income from Patreon) for them to be effective. The chapter about environmental impact and contribution is not enough to cover this gaping black hole.
In short, this book is a product of our times, when everything is a hustle and everything can be turned into an income if you have enough charisma to become an influencer. I suppose it might give a short-term validation to read over and over again that people with ADHD are funny, creative, and interesting, but hardly anything remains when that fuzzy feeling dissipates.
September 9, 2024
This was one of the most comprehensive and thoughtfully thorough books I've ever read on ADHD. It touched on many of the misunderstood or lesser-known facets of life that are impacted by having ADHD (or any other neurodiverse diagnosis): emotion dysregulation, time management, RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria), feeling a lack of belonging, romantic relationships, and friendships. I appreciated that she also included cultural and racial differences in the both the diagnosis and its presentation. Very, very well done.
It has just enough balance between science and the author's personal anecdotes to make it both an informative and relatable text. Highly recommend to anyone wanting to deeper their understanding of this complicated diagnosis.
It has just enough balance between science and the author's personal anecdotes to make it both an informative and relatable text. Highly recommend to anyone wanting to deeper their understanding of this complicated diagnosis.
June 23, 2024
I usually don't write reviews. I rate the book and move on. However, I can't do that with this one! It has had such a significant impact on me. As an adult who was recently diagnosed with ADHD, I had been grieving for some time, as Jessica mentioned, about how hard I have been on myself for years because I was never aware of or suspected my diagnosis. I considered myself a failure with no more chances to thrive for so long, but this book is another excellent source of encouragement. It has given me a deeper understanding of myself, and I'm excited about sharing this knowledge with my loved ones, who have been my rock on this journey!!
February 17, 2024
I don’t have an official ADHD diagnosis but I know I’m not neurotypical and struggle with the same/similar issues outlined in this book. Having said that, this author’s YouTube channel is awesome and has already helped me immensely, but I appreciate her trying to condense her material into a book. I didn’t read it from cover to cover, but i will be using it is a handy reference manual. I will also say it might be more helpful for a newbie than someone who’s already been using these tips for a while.
January 28, 2024
It is indeed a handbook how to make ADHD more manageable.
July 18, 2024
Funny that a book about ADHD is so long but it was a really smooth read and had so much great info whether or not you have ADHD!
June 28, 2024
Love this quote from the book:
“Brian, a grief counselor living in Washington, described how he lost a finger in an accident. ‘After I lost my finger my brain couldn't accept that it was missing. So it assumed there was something wrong with the world. When I would rest my hand on a table, my brain perceived that there was a hole in the table where my finger should be rather than recognizing that there was no finger anymore. It took at least half a year before my brain started to accept that the world wasn't broken or missing, part of me was.’
Our view of the world comes in through our senses. Our brain encodes this information by comparing it to what we already know, and fills in any gaps. When the information coming in makes sense to us, and fits with our current perspective, we’re able to incorporate it. When it threatens our self esteem and self concept, however, we often reject it.
This is important to understand, because what it means, is this: the way people change their minds isn't by replacing what they know with what we are telling them. It's by incorporating it, when they can, into their existing perspective.
Perspective shifts can't be forced. If you're sharing information with someone that contradicts what they currently believe, it can take time for their perspective to shift, if it happens at all.
This is the case, even if the information is true and you can show them evidence that it's true…what can make it easier for someone to see what we see, is connection.”
I copied this down while listening to the audiobook, so any spelling or punctuation errors are entirely my own.
“Brian, a grief counselor living in Washington, described how he lost a finger in an accident. ‘After I lost my finger my brain couldn't accept that it was missing. So it assumed there was something wrong with the world. When I would rest my hand on a table, my brain perceived that there was a hole in the table where my finger should be rather than recognizing that there was no finger anymore. It took at least half a year before my brain started to accept that the world wasn't broken or missing, part of me was.’
Our view of the world comes in through our senses. Our brain encodes this information by comparing it to what we already know, and fills in any gaps. When the information coming in makes sense to us, and fits with our current perspective, we’re able to incorporate it. When it threatens our self esteem and self concept, however, we often reject it.
This is important to understand, because what it means, is this: the way people change their minds isn't by replacing what they know with what we are telling them. It's by incorporating it, when they can, into their existing perspective.
Perspective shifts can't be forced. If you're sharing information with someone that contradicts what they currently believe, it can take time for their perspective to shift, if it happens at all.
This is the case, even if the information is true and you can show them evidence that it's true…what can make it easier for someone to see what we see, is connection.”
I copied this down while listening to the audiobook, so any spelling or punctuation errors are entirely my own.
April 27, 2024
I skimmed the relevant chapters I was interested in. The chapter on memory put into words that thing about getting overwhelmed with new info and then not remembering it! I liked that, but the toolbox part was not helpful.
In the chapter about sleep, which my therapist specifically recommended, I liked that she says screen time is proven to be neither good or bad right before bed. Tips were just not helpful.
The chapter about motivation I read last and it was actually demotivating. I liked, again, that she could describe what it’s like, but again, the tips were not helpful.
This is not necessarily a failing of the author. I’ve yet to find an ADHD book that’s helpful for me. Now that I’m in my 40s I’ve either already discovered the mentioned hacks or they’re hacks that either don’t make sense to me (sleep in your clothes to be ready for your day?!) or they just don’t work for me.
In the chapter about sleep, which my therapist specifically recommended, I liked that she says screen time is proven to be neither good or bad right before bed. Tips were just not helpful.
The chapter about motivation I read last and it was actually demotivating. I liked, again, that she could describe what it’s like, but again, the tips were not helpful.
This is not necessarily a failing of the author. I’ve yet to find an ADHD book that’s helpful for me. Now that I’m in my 40s I’ve either already discovered the mentioned hacks or they’re hacks that either don’t make sense to me (sleep in your clothes to be ready for your day?!) or they just don’t work for me.
February 21, 2024
There's some good information in here, but the book is about 150 pages too long and her "Teehee I'm ADHD and quirky" shtick gets old pretty quickly. That aside, a good introduction for someone unfamiliar with ADHD and how to manage it
July 21, 2024
I've read a LOT of books about ADHD at this point, and I would rate this among the absolute best. (If I'd recommend just one book about adult ADHD, it would be Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley...and this book would be a close second.)
What this book does exceptionally well--better than Barkley's, in fact--is to fully unpack and give color to the variety of lived experiences of people with ADHD. There is excellent content I've never encountered anywhere else about intersectionality with ADHD as well as how other mental health conditions (which are very common) impact the effect ADHD has on a person's life. And I deeply appreciate the novel discussion of how taxing it is to use all the strategies that ADHDers rely on--that even if we're using all the tools and thriving, good LORD, it's exhausting to live with ADHD.
The book is full of tools and strategies, sure. But for me, its primary benefit is how well it teaches self-empathy.
McCabe walks us through the journey of her first seven years as an ADHD advocate through her YouTube channel. She started out motivated by self-improvement and self-education, and her videos (and the book) are certainly effective for herself and for us in those regards. But she then brings us along as her journey bends toward radical self-acceptance: the key to optimal functioning in a neurotypical world, she realizes, is at least as much about leaning into one's strengths as it is about improving on one's weaknesses. And in both cases, doing it within a community of mutual support.
My summary here doesn't do it justice, but read this book and I bet it will have the same effect on you as it did on me: to deeply validate the struggle while also giving HEAPS of hope that I can improve my own life and pave the way for future ADHDers to struggle just a little less than I've had to.
Thank you, Jessica.
What this book does exceptionally well--better than Barkley's, in fact--is to fully unpack and give color to the variety of lived experiences of people with ADHD. There is excellent content I've never encountered anywhere else about intersectionality with ADHD as well as how other mental health conditions (which are very common) impact the effect ADHD has on a person's life. And I deeply appreciate the novel discussion of how taxing it is to use all the strategies that ADHDers rely on--that even if we're using all the tools and thriving, good LORD, it's exhausting to live with ADHD.
The book is full of tools and strategies, sure. But for me, its primary benefit is how well it teaches self-empathy.
McCabe walks us through the journey of her first seven years as an ADHD advocate through her YouTube channel. She started out motivated by self-improvement and self-education, and her videos (and the book) are certainly effective for herself and for us in those regards. But she then brings us along as her journey bends toward radical self-acceptance: the key to optimal functioning in a neurotypical world, she realizes, is at least as much about leaning into one's strengths as it is about improving on one's weaknesses. And in both cases, doing it within a community of mutual support.
My summary here doesn't do it justice, but read this book and I bet it will have the same effect on you as it did on me: to deeply validate the struggle while also giving HEAPS of hope that I can improve my own life and pave the way for future ADHDers to struggle just a little less than I've had to.
Thank you, Jessica.
February 28, 2024
Loved it. Her writing style, the topics, her "toolbox" and her explanations are very helpful. Not sure if I've ever teared up or had goosebumps on a non-fiction book, but this book made me emotional. Probably because I felt heard and seen by the author. Like some of the things I've lived through just written out in a book when it's hard for me to even explain without sounding "odd" to neurotypical people. I'd buy this book to just to read it again, highlight things and to remind myself I'm not alone and I can get through anything 💛
June 2, 2024
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but didn’t know what to do with that since my therapist had to leave my insurance - this book made so many of my frustrations with myself make sense. I finally have a handle on how my brain works, and I feel empowered with a toolkit full of strategies to help me through executive dysfunction. Other than the tired millenialisms in the writing, I can’t recommend this book enough if you have ADHD and want to learn more about yourself from a nonjudgmental, compassionate lens.
March 29, 2024
This was informative, helpful, and very important to have read. Do I have ADHD? Who knows - but I have experienced many of these situations (although not as debilitatingly as others have described). Do I know and love people with ADHD, undiagnosed or otherwise? Absolutely. I believe that I am now better equipped to face challenges (both my own and others'), and to help people as they face some of those challenges.
Borrowed from the library, but considering purchase as a personal reference. Many valuable resources are included, and some chapters/sections are definitely worth re-reading.
Borrowed from the library, but considering purchase as a personal reference. Many valuable resources are included, and some chapters/sections are definitely worth re-reading.
April 8, 2024
I felt like Jessica was reading my mind through this book. She captured every thought/concern I have with my ADHD and made me feel so seen and validated, while also sharing some amazing advice and tools. I can’t wait to use this knowledge to help me!!!
June 27, 2024
A must read…or listen…for anyone with ADHD!
Definitely helpful especially if you are struggling with some specific ADHD symptoms or consequences.
There’s also a lot of reassurance that is surprisingly good to hear. Being reminded that there are many other people like you with the same daily struggles is very helpful!
Definitely helpful especially if you are struggling with some specific ADHD symptoms or consequences.
There’s also a lot of reassurance that is surprisingly good to hear. Being reminded that there are many other people like you with the same daily struggles is very helpful!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 393 reviews